Swampy since you like em’, I will tell one from the olden days, tis one of my personal faves.
When I was living in Dallas, latter part of the last millennium, I was working at a live music joint in Deep Ellum a club district. IIRC it was Texas/OU weekend and the drunks were out early. Early in the evening before dark, four young men found themselves sitting on the curb, in handcuffs because the had been fighting in the pool hall next door. There are five DPD officers there debating the fates of the young men, one of the officers was a tiny woman about 5’2"/157cm and 110lbs/50kg, it is pretty obvious that the young men in question are about to be let go. We are observing all this from our patio.
::informational note about handcuffs for those who have never had the “opportunity” to wear them. Handcuffs restrict the more than the movement of your arms, it is hard to get up, walk or run because you use your arms for balance. Clasp your hands together behind your back and try it.::
So, the idiot closest to us realizes that the Cops are not watching them as they are talking to each other and I see the wheels turning in his mind, he starts to move…
He is up and running across the street before the Cops notice
Officer in charge gives the “nod” to the tiny Police Woman and she catches the idiot in the middle of the street
Nightstick comes out at amazing speed and takes out the knees of the idiot, leaving him hanging in the air ala Wiley E. Coyote, but funnier as he is handcuffed and sorta flopping instead of flailing.
Gravity is present on this particular day and the inevitable happens, the idiot strikes the asphalt just as tiny ninja police woman’s knee makes contact with the back of his neck. I think he would have hit the ground less hard if they threw him off a two story building. I cannot describe the sound his impact made but even the other cops were stunned.
After the collective “OOOH” wore off and the gales of laughter came rolling in, she sorta wrestles him up off the pavement and brings him back to the curb. The idiot, now wearing the shame of having his a** handed to him by tiny cop ninja woman, a face veil of rocks from the street and some very sore knees gets the further indignity being rolled, and having his ankles cuffed to his hands and being left face down on the sidewalk.
His “transport” arrives and our young hero, as he is being loaded up, sees his compatriots being un-cuffed and sent on their way, with no more than a stern talking to. The look on his face was priceless.
Jim
