Iceberg Lettuce Sucks

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@Athena

sniff That might be the highest compliment anyone’s ever paid me on the SD!

Well I’ll be! I am glad I made someone’s day!

@cuberdon

Oh, this is genius! Much more challenging than those times when the item is anchovies and they have to figure out how to incorporate it into dessert.

I thought it was really funny too, although I think that instead of biting into that pepper with that fierce expression in the opening cutscenes, Morimoto should have to take a big honking bite off a head of iceberg, with a sour, put-off expression on his face. I so want his shiny gloves, too.

[Ellen_Cherry]

@Mister_Rik

Like… spring mix. Bleh.
I know one major advantage iceberg has over these other varieties: It’s cleaner. Peel off the outer leaves, and it’s nice and clean inside. Romaine and other “vertical” lettuces, when they arrive from the food distributor, are filthy. Those vertically-growing leaves act like dust & grit & bug collectors while they’re growing. And the farmers don’t wash their produce before they stuff it in boxes. Washing it is the job of the cooks or the guys in the grocery store produce department. There’s a reason romaine is typically sold as “hearts”, not full heads. And it’s because 60%-70% of any given head of romaine is covered in dirt. It’s quicker and easier to just strip each head down the the relatively clean core and pitch the dirty parts in the trash.

ETA: And that waste is one reason restaurants prefer iceberg. From a 50-pound box of iceberg, you’re going to get maybe 40 pounds of usable product once the heads have been cored and the outer leaves stripped away. With romaine, you’re going to get much less usable product once you’ve discarded the crappy parts.

What?! You got no sink? Wash your lettuce! :mad: Soak it! Fill up the sink with water and dump that lettuce in, and let it sit. It will be clean and crisp and edible!

I grew up with sinks full of Bibb lettuce … invented by Mr. Bibb right here in Kentucky, for you Philistines who don’t know.

[Labrador_Deceiver]

@FoieGrasIsEvil

Micrograms? International Units? .035 mg of something? Come now, you’re going to have to do better than that! That’s so close to nothing as to actually be nothing! If you ate nothing but iceberg lettuce every day you’d eventually die of malnutrition (or water poisoning)!

All were quoted in the units generally given for daiy recommended intake.

Since I live in American Samoa, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.

Exactly!

[Skammer]

I like to include iceburg in my lunch salad, in addition to the other greens available, for the texture and crunch. Also because of the high water content it keeps the salad colder, longer. An iceberg-only salad would be pretty pointless, but all things in moderation.

[carnivorousplant]

@FoieGrasIsEvil

pounds gavel

“Case dismissed!”

All rise.

Please pay the Bailiff on your way out.

[Mister_Rik]

@Ellen_Cherry

What?! You got no sink? Wash your lettuce! :mad: Soak it! Fill up the sink with water and dump that lettuce in, and let it sit. It will be clean and crisp and edible!

Well no kidding. But look at how romaine is sold in the grocery store - it’s almost always stripped down to the heart (in fact, that’s how it’s often labeled: “romaine hearts”), less than half of the original head. The average consumer doesn’t see what a commercially-grown head of romaine looks like straight out of the box (the box containing up to 30 heads crammed in tight). It’s awful. Aside from the dirt (which, yes, of course, can be washed off), the outer leaves — several layers of them — are almost always in terrible condition. Broken, bruised, rotting, bug-eaten, leathery-textured… You have to pull off and discard (waste) a crapload of romaine to get to the good parts.

Iceberg is packed the same way, but all you have to do, usually, is peel off the outer layer, core it, and it’s ready to wash and use.

[billfish678]

A dinning delima. You have two choices. Which one do you take?

A child free resteraunt that only uses iceberg lettuce.

Or a child infested one that uses all those hippie lettuces?

[carnivorousplant]

@billfish678

A child free resteraunt that only uses iceberg lettuce.

Or a child infested one that uses all those hippie lettuces?

Those aren’t choices.
They are inner circles of Dante’s Hell.

[Hal_Briston]

I’ll happily eat an entire head of iceberg like it was a big-ass green(ish) apple. Mmmmm, iceberg!

[Sigmagirl]

@Little_Nemo

I always thought the traditional dressing for a wedge was blue cheese.

I like buttermilk ranch with crumbled blue cheese and bacon.

Also, is the OP my mother-in-law? She lectures waitresses about the deficiencies of iceberg lettuce and the superiority of romaine. Woe betide the waitress whose employer serves only iceberg.

[silenus]

@billfish678

A dinning delima. You have two choices. Which one do you take?

A child free resteraunt that only uses iceberg lettuce.

Or a child infested one that uses all those hippie lettuces?

Not even on the radar. Child-free and actual lettuce in the salads? Bliss!

Before you let Chronos sway your opinion, remember that he thinks beans belong in a proper bowl of chili.

[carnivorousplant]

@silenus

Before you let Chronos sway your opinion, remember that he thinks beans belong in a proper bowl of chili.

You know, he’s not really a bad guy.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@Sigmagirl

Also, is the OP my mother-in-law? She lectures waitresses about the deficiencies of iceberg lettuce and the superiority of romaine. Woe betide the waitress whose employer serves only iceberg.

I could be, were it not for my tripod-thingie.

[Covered_In_Bees]

I agree with the OP, iceberg lettuce sucks. And so does water, in fact!

Down with water and crunchy water!

[carnivorousplant]

@Covered_In_Bees

I agree with the OP, iceberg lettuce sucks. And so does water, in fact!

Down with water and crunchy water!

Celery sucks up water…that grade school experiment with a celery stalk in water and ink.
Celery tastes like Iceberg lettuce.

Hmm…

[AtomicDog]

I love iceberg lettuce. It has a mouth texture like nothing else on Earth.

[TBG]

@carnivorousplant

Celery sucks up water…that grade school experiment with a celery stalk in water and ink.
Celery tastes like Iceberg lettuce.

Hmm…

Celery doesn’t taste like iceberg to me. If you put celery in my iceberg based salad, then after the first bite I discover your treachery, I will make sure to pick out every last bit of celery before eating the rest of my salad.

[billfish678]

@AtomicDog

I love iceberg lettuce. It has a mouth texture like nothing else on Earth.

It’s like an angel of God giving you a culinary blow job.

[carnivorousplant]

@TBG

after the first bite I discover your treachery, I will make sure to pick out every last bit of celery before eating the rest of my salad.

I live in fear of your wrath.
:rolleyes: Oye!

[pulykamell]

@TBG

Celery doesn’t taste like iceberg to me. If you put celery in my iceberg based salad, then after the first bite I discover your treachery, I will make sure to pick out every last bit of celery before eating the rest of my salad.

I like celery, but the flavor of celery is, to my tastes, pretty strong and obvious. To people who don’t like celery, I could see how it detracts. I honestly don’t understand how anyone could confuse iceberg lettuce and celery.