In 1999, I was at a Military Entrance Processing Station, which involved sitting around for hours at a time. There were a bunch of paperbacks with the covers removed (I assume remaindered books that were reported to the publisher as “destroyed”, then donated to the MEPS for us bored enlistees). I grabbed one basically at random and read it. I have no idea of the name of the novel or the author, and it’s been bugging me ever since.
Not that I want to read more of his stuff - it was a really bad novel. But I was morbidly curious about how successful the novel and the author were.
Here’s what I remember:
It seemed like it might have been part of a series. It was set after some sort of apocalypse. I don’t remember what the apocalypse was, but it left pockets of survivors and lots of wilderness. Our Hero was a Manly Man of Manliness. Before the apocalypse, he was a soldier. But not just a regular soldier! He was actually a mercenary with a mercenary company with a Badass Name (Hell Hounds or Devil Dogs or something similar). But not just a regular mercenary company. They were actually covert U.S. special operations personnel working for the CIA! (Or something like that). The author, through our Hero’s internal dialogue, made a big deal about how all “real” soldiers, which apparently only included special operations troops, were True Conservatives. Most of the military was made up of liberals who did their best to hinder the Real Soldiers, which is why Our Hero was a special operations soldier who was actually a mercenary who was actually a CIA paramilitary operator.
Our Hero lead a convoy of survivors, guiding and protecting them with his Manly Real Soldier skills. He was also in a romantic relationship with a Liberal Woman who was part of the convoy. My memory is that she had no real personality, skills, or background, other than being a Liberal Foil. A fair chunk of the book was Liberal Woman making some sort of Liberal Argument, only for Our Hero, the Conservative Manly Man of Manliness, to explain to her why she and all liberals were wrong about whatever point they were discussing, and conservatives were right. Every time, she would concede the argument - as, of course, she would have to, as Our Hero was clearly and objectively Right about everything.
At one point the convoy comes across a small farming community of pacifists. They tell Our Hero that they are being menaced by bandits, and demand that he protect them. Our Hero replies that he’s willing to help train and equip them, but they’ll need to fight for themselves. The pacifists’ leader is shocked and appalled - they’re pacifists! They can’t fight! Other people are supposed to fight and die on their behalf! (Because that’s what pacifism means, right?) Our Hero and his convoy sadly move on. These people can’t be helped. I think the community is destroyed shortly thereafter, with the convoy driving away from a column of smoke, or something.
The convoy eventually fights the bandits when they attack the convoy. After the fight, which the convoy wins due to Our Hero’s Manly soldiering skills, the old doctor riding with the convoy performs an autopsy on several of the bandits, and finds malformations in their brains.This confirms what Our Hero had always suspected - criminals all have diseased brains, and are inherently violent and dangerous and un-redeemable, and the liberal elite always knew that, but covered it up, because…reasons.
There’s a Big Bad, who’s story is mostly separate from Our Hero’s until they finally cross paths near the end of the book. I don’t remember anything about the Big Bad, except that his headquarters was in a mansion or luxurious compound of some sort, and (this part gets pretty squicky)
he had a pair of pre-pubescent girls as sex slaves; a recurring sub-plot follows them as they discuss their predicament and plot their escape before he carries out his plan to anally rape them.
After the final big battle (I think, I don’t really remember the action climax of the story at all), Our Hero has grown restless with leading the convoy, and feels the need to move on and strike out on his own. Liberal Woman, by this time, is pregnant by Our Hero, but realizes that he’s too much of a Manly Man of Manliness to be tied down as a husband and father. So, she encourages him to leave her with the convoy to raise their child, while he rides off into the sunset.
(As I hope I’ve made clear, the whole book has a super right-wing viewpoint, up until Our Hero just abandons his pregnant lover, with her blessings! That might have been the single weirdest part of the book).
Anyone recognize any of this? (Perversely, I’m almost hoping the answer is no, because the thought that this might have actually been successful enough that someone else might recognize it would make me weep a bit for humanity).