Identify this Movie From a Vague Description (Yet Again!)

Cafe Society
#1

Well, here goes:

ISTR watching some movie on HBO or Cinemax™ or something back in the late 70’s/early 80’s. It takes place in a sort-of Medeival Europe/Lord of the Rings/Conan the Barbarian millieu.

The Bad Guy is a conquerer who wants to enslave the Good Guy’s people. The Good Guy, naturally, wnats to prevent this. Apparently the GG and the BG have dealt with each other in the past (see below).

There is one scene where the Bad Guy has captured the Good Guy and is planning to torture him to death. He has him tied up and, holding a red-hot poker close to him, says (paraphrased): “I’m now going to do something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time-- kill you very slowly and very painfully.” The Good Guy somehow escapes.

Another scene: the Good Guy captures one of the Bad Guy’s men and, in essence, forces him to kill himself. He ties him to the ground under a tree and slings a heavy sledgehammer over a branch with a rope, so that the hammer hangs a few feet over the guy’s abdomen. He then makes the guy secure the rope in his teeth. Thus, when he gets too fatigued to hold it, he lets go and the hammer falls down and kills him. You can guess what happens.

Gory stuff.

Anyway, does this ring any bells?

TIA

#2

Board rules say I’m allowed one…bump.

#3

How about these vague descriptions (in title form)?
World Tour
L. A. Water Rights
Georgia Prison Camp
Goofy Southern Kid
Blind Man Yelling at Colleg Officials
Guy Wanting to Be a Navy Pilot
Black Guy Becomes Sheriff

#4

Hmm, I think I’d call those “Bad Titles” rather than “vague descriptions”, but here’s a guess…

World Tour – Around the World in 80 Days
L.A. Water Rights – Chinatown
Georgia Prison Camp – Cool Hand Luke
Goofy Southern Kid – Forrest Gump
Blind Man Yelling at Colleg(e) Officials – Scent of a Woman
Guy Wanting to Be a Navy Pilot – An Officer and a Gentleman
Black Guy Becomes Sherriff – In the Heat of the Night

Did I get 'em right???

Let me add a few of my own.

Killing Other Families and Members of Your Own For Fun and Profit
Young Guy Does It With Really Old Lady
Sherman Burninates Georgia
Noble Southern Lawyer and his Cute Children
Rebel Space Terrorists Destroy Huge Military Base

#5

HeyHomie - Maybe Yor, Hunter from the Future?

Frankd6 -
Killing Other Families and Members of Your Own For Fun and Profit - The Godfather
Young Guy Does It With Really Old Lady - The Graduate (?)
Sherman Burninates Georgia - Gone With the Wind
Noble Southern Lawyer and his Cute Children - ummm… can’t get this one… Some John Grisham adaptation, probably.
Rebel Space Terrorists Destroy Huge Military Base - Star Wars

You realize we aren’t helping the OP any here?

#6

Not what I had in mind for “Young Guy…” <b>Tanstaafl</b> Think even younger and even older.

Also, “Noble Southern Lawyer” predates Grisham by about 30 years.

Right on everything else, tho…

#7

Noble Southern Lawyer and his Cute Children - To Kill a Mockingbird

#8

Young Guy Does It With Really Old Lady - Harold and Maude

#9

Bite Me - Silence of the Lambs

#10

“Black Guy Becomes Sheriff” - My first thought was Blazing Saddles “Candygram for Mongo!”

#11

How about something more like the actual vague descriptions we get here?

For instance:

Two seemingly mismatched people meet and fall in love.
The good guy saves the world.
Long shot athletes win the big game.
Cop is killed one week before retirement.
Cop is suspended, but solves the case anyway.

#12

Homie, was it a forein film redubbed or a domestic one? How was the quality b-type or a-type?

#13

Also, can think of any actors/actresses that were in it or even any other movies they were in?

#14

Actual question customer asked me when I worked at Blockbuster: “Do you have the Bruce Willis film with all the killing in it?”

Got it on my first try too.

#15

You got it, Skammer–Blazing Saddles. :slight_smile:
Now here’s another such list–and they have something in common:

The Show Must Go On
Western Bad Guys and a Train Ride
Diamonds and a Musical Troupe
The Explorer and the Paintings
Stowaways and Mobsters
A Villain Covets an Emporium
Rivals Come to America with Diva
A Gorilla and Ten Thousand Dollars
The Funniest Head of State
Who Is Killing the Hotel Managers?
Stolen Jewels at a Florida Hotel
The Sanatorium and the Racetrack
Gridiron Ringers

#16

The Show Must Go On - Room Service
Western Bad Guys and a Train Ride - Go West
Diamonds and a Musical Troupe - Love Happy
The Explorer and the Paintings - Animal Crackers
Stowaways and Mobsters - Monkey Business
A Villain Covets an Emporium - The Big Store
Rivals Come to America with Diva - A Night at the Opera
A Gorilla and Ten Thousand Dollars - At the Circus
The Funniest Head of State - Duck Soup
Who Is Killing the Hotel Managers? - A Night in Casablanca
Stolen Jewels at a Florida Hotel - The Coconauts
The Sanatorium and the Racetrack - A Day at the Races
Gridiron Ringers - Horse Feathers

Hmm, now what could the commonality here be . . .?

#17

Ask Exapno Mapcase. :smiley:

#18

With regard to the OP - I think I remember the bit with the hammer and the rope in Hawk the Slayer. Is that any help?

#19

Yes, that’s IT! Thanks sooooooooo much!

#20

I don’t remember the hammer and rope bit, but that’s a great movie. Jack Palance plays the bad guy.