Who’s Ralph Wiggum??
(Is my ignorance showing… a-GAIN?!)
Ralph Wiggum is probably my favorite character on, and the unsung hero of, “The Simpsons.” He is a classmate of Lisa Simpson and the son of equally dim-witted Police Chief Wiggum. Ironically enough, both the Chief and young Ralphie have what appear to be pig noses. A jab at law enforcement, perhaps?
Now if only I knew the Chief’s first name…
-Syko
One of the most overused expressions I see on the SDMB is “One trick pony”. Every time I see it, I cringe. Geez people, let’s try and get some original material.
Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!
~Wrap yourself in black…Listen to the cure… -Better Than Ezra
From Mrs. Rastahomie:
“Colder than a well-digger’s ass.”
Other "cold" classics:
"Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra."
"Colder than the balls on a brass bulldog."
From a comedian:
“As out of place as a porkchop at a kosher wedding.”
“As out of place as a milk bucket under a bull.”
True Story: I'm working at Subway® one day when one of my regular customers asks, "How ya doin'?" I respond, "Same as always :mad:." He responds, "That bad, huh?" And in a moment of pure genius, and without missing a beat, I respond, "Like Kunte Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert."
That HAS to be my best one yet :D.I heard a new one last night. One of my co-workers had to go the bathroom, so he said he was,“taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.”
I always liked this one:
He’s/She’s richer than four feet up a bull’s ass.
My personal favorite for describing a dim-witted person ineffectually flailing away at some task:
“like a monkey fucking a football”
Haha! My fiance used to say that, now we say that we’re going to go meditate (because we achieve enlightenment through our calm efforts). We now use the phrase to describe a certain post-coital action, although sometimes we modify it to “half-kids.”
Here are some I’ve heard from my family, some from Arkansas, and others:
Were you born in a barn? (said to the person who left the door open)
(Something) happens once in a blue moon. Meaning it rarely happens.
For crying out loud (generally an expression of aggrevation or disgust)
Crap. (A substitute for shit)
Oh, for Pete sake. (An expression of exasperation. I always assumed this was referring to St Peter.)
Do you have ants in your pants? (Asked of a child who can’t sit still)
Children are to be seen and not heard.
For when it is raining hard:
It’s coming down like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
One of my current favorites:
15 years is a long damn time.
Not what I’ve heard it describing.
It may be a little long - -
You can’t fart through the fence and claim that you fertilized five acres.