How about
*
The complete idiot’s guide to SHUTTING THE FUCK UP in a movie theater, you drooling inbred braindead sack of an imbecile’s shit!*
the complete idiots guide to finding the clitoris.
Actually, I’ve always wanted to write “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Alaskan Legislature” but I’m afraid people would think I was writing a parody…
“How to Find Your @sshole with a Flashlight and a Pair of Latex Gloves”
Isn’t that the legislature where a representative was convicted of some crime and ordered to pay a fine, then ran for reelection because he said it was the only way he knew of to make enough money to pay off the fine?
That’s a damn long sentence.
The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Standing Upright
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the 2000 Presidential Election.
a book called:
“Teach yourself to read for Dummies”
*Not bringing your crying, screaming children to an “R” rated movie on a wednesday night at 10:30 for Dummies
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to doing what the Help Desk Tells You To Do (or)
If You’re Not Gonna Listen, Why Did You Call Me? for Dummies
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Turn Signals
Using Birth Control (especially) for Dummies
The Complete Idiot’s Guide for Leaving the Party When it’s OVER
Playing in Traffic for Dummies*
punk snot dead,
broccoli!
The Idiot’s Guide to Lining Up the Punchhole with the Candidate of Your Choice.
The Surface Tension of Your Average Chad and You!
Inventing the Internet, Did I or Didn’t I?: An Exercise in Memory for Dummies
Not Looking Like an Idiot for Idiots (Special Election Year Discount!)
http://www.iantheterrible.com/rambles.cgi?date=1999.12.28
The Complete Idiot’s Guides For Dummies