What drives me crazy about it is, as an atheist, I have no recourse but to hold my tongue for sake of politeness. But even if I responded to, “I’ll pray for you,” with the politest, “that’s not necessary because I’m an atheist,” I’d be considered a dick for saying it.
Look at a flip-side:
If I told someone, “I’m sorry that happened to you, I hope things get better,” and they responded with, “will you pray for me?” I’d be right back at the conundrum. I can’t say, “I won’t do that because I’m an atheist,” because, there I am the dick again. I have to just nod my head and wonder to myself how people become so deluded.
Why do the religious get a pass at spouting their beliefs to all and sundry, but a rational response to it is uncouth?
I have nothing really to add, but I just wanted to say, I’m wholly with Jack Batty. People don’t really know what it’s like to be a minority. Sometimes I think every single person should be made to spend a year in a place where they are the minority in some way, so they know what it’s like to bite your tongue 20x a day because everyone is convinved they’re the outsider and the alien.
I can shut up and be a good little atheist, too. I do every day.
People pray for you because they believe in it, not because you do. If someone wants to pray for you just take it as they care. If they want you to pray for them then I think it’s reasonable to say you don’t believe in it. Although if they’ll never know better and it means a lot there’s not much harm in just saying you’ll do it.
Why can’t you? It seems like a perfectly appropriate response to me.
There’s no dickishness in stating what you believe and are willing or able to do; but there may well be in unsolicited criticism of what other people believe or do.
But when you get your panties all in a twist, just 'cause someone mentions ‘prayer’ you’re just like them, in my opinion.
Most people who pray aren’t broadcasting it, just like most athiests don’t cringe from the word prayer. (Just to be a dick, and make a point no one cares about.) Kind of like you view, broadcasting that you’re ‘going to pray for’ someone.
Do you go around espousing your views on other things, to all and sundry? Feel the need to challenge every other view when it presents? Or just buthurt by the mean Christians always mentioning prayer?
Yep, I’d be a dick if I opposed those who hoped something better for me.
What if I told them that I would consider their prayers to be the same thing as hoping…or is that yet another thing polite atheists don’t do out loud?
I think the best thing to say when someone offers to pray for you is, " I really appreciate the fact that, in your misguided, delusional way, you mean well for me."
If only the reciprocal were true. If I said to a Christian, apropos of nothing, “God doesn’t exist,” - a perfectly rational statement - you don’t think I’d get an earful? And a prayer said on my behalf?
Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Like most atheists here I’ve been indoctrinated my whole life with messages like “What does it hurt?”, “Go with the flow”, “It would be impolite to bring that up”, “It’s not religious-it’s traditional” and numerous other stifles.
It’s only a piece of straw, right?
Polite people don’t denigrate well wishes because they don’t approve the manner in which they’re given. Being an atheist has nothing to do with it. Get off your cross.
Aiee. If someone indicates a desire to pray for you, and you’re irritated that a response like “keep your superstitious delusions to yourself” will sound rude, I don’t know what to tell you. But I bet you’re onto something! Next time the lady at the convenience store tells me to have a “blessed day” I’ll have to tell her that no God exists to bless anything, thanks, and see if she thinks it’s rude. Probably. Hah, stupid believer in bronze age mythology.
Now: if someone asks me to pray for something, I have no problem whatsoever telling them I don’t do that sort of thing; I’ve received some raised eyebrows but it’s never really been an issue. Maybe the state I grew up in — Kentucky — is just so progressive that I’ve missed the anti-atheism backlash experienced by many. Or maybe I’m just insufficiently abrasive. Who knows.
