Inspired by Fluiddruid’s IT thread.
Now I am sure that every IT person here on the dope gives the greatest IT service known to man, and never give bad, or stupid or just plain wrong instructions.
Unfortunately not all IT people are smart as IT dopers.
So let’s see the stories from the other end of the phone.
MS Outlook (for example) won’t connect to the exchange server. I hit retry, close and re open the program, do a restart on the machine, still won’t connect. I do a full shut down, and cold boot. Still no joy. I call the idiots playing with technology department.
I describe each step that I have already taken, including full text of each and every error message (I write them down, just to be sure)
IT: OK hit start -> shut down ->restart
me: I have already done that
IT: Just do it
me: fine
::: 5 minutes later:::
me: I am getting the same error message as before
IT: OK do a full shut down and then restart the machine
me: I have already done that
IT: just do it
me: You do realize that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
Lather rinse repeat.
(To tell the truth this was only from 1/2 the first level IT people, the others would say, Oh hi Rick, OK you have done the simple shit, let’s skip ahead and find the problem)
Or here is a great one. I was a remote user. I hooked to the main office LAN maybe once or twice a year. About 1/2 of the end users in my company were remote users so I was not the only one.
Message pops in the middle of my day while logged into VPN using broadband There is at least one SDS load waiting for your machine, please reboot as soon as possible to load this important patch. First off I had no idea why the Students for a Democratic Society wanted to put patches on my operating system, but who am I to argue? Anyway the part that makes this pit worthy is the fact that these very important patches would not load across VPN they would only load when connected to the LAN in the office. This meant two things: First I would see these very annoying messages every fucking day at odd times until my next trip to the office. Secondly when I did go back to headquarters, it meant that I could not use my machine for 3 or 4 hours as all of those patches had to load one right after the other. :rolleyes:
OK here is another wonderful one. We used a secur-ID +PIN to log into the VPN for work. I was in Vancouver BC in a remote training center, and I for some reason could not log in. I call the no-help-whatsoever desk. I explain to them that I am remote, I am in Canada, and despite my building location in their computer (showed me working at headquarters, where my boss sat) I was infact in a little tiny building all by myself. They resynchronize my secur-ID, no joy. They try to tell me I don’t have internet access. This is not correct as I have been surfing the dope while on hold waiting for you. After 30 minutes of this and that they say they I need to have someone do something to my password. (The pain was so great, I have blocked out just what needed to be done) They tell me that I need to have someone that is that is on the LAN, and therefore behind the firewall do this procedure. I explain to her that I am not on the LAN, I am remote. She says well it might work VPN get one of your co-workers to do it. I explain that I am the only employee in the building. She does not believe me, and tells me to go get the guy in the next cubicle to do it. :smack:
I asked her straight out, “What part of I am the only Ford employee in this building” wasn’t clear?
I said you are on the network and behind the firewall you do it. “No we are not allowed to do this procedure.” Scuse me, but WTF? over.
She then told me that I could get someone to do it over the phone and she would e mail me the instructions.
Me: Excuse me, but if I can’t log into VPN just how am I supposed to pick up this email off of the exchange server?
Her: :eek: <- (sound of her head assploding)
Me: Would you like to send it to my Gmail account?
So I call my boss on the other end of the country to get him to help me. Turns out he is in meetings, and can’t get free to help me so he calls his boss. Same story. I wound up with a vice-president on the phone. The procedure of course did not fix the problem, but when my VP called the VP of IT, it was kinda funny just how fast second level was on the phone to me. Turns out there was a problem on their end, nothing wrong on my end.
Or maybe there was the time they sent me a new laptop with the screen saver locked on with a 5 minutes access time, and password protected. I use my laptop in class with PowerPoint, and often would stay on a single slide for 20 minutes while we discussed the info contained. IT could not understand why I thought a 5 minute lock out with password was a problem. It was for security you see (Like I had the account numbers and passwords to Bill Ford’s checkbook. ) :rolleyes:
Or the time one my cow-orkers messed with the DSL settings in one of my training center and made it so only 4 computers in the building could access the net. did they call tech support? Hell no, Rick will be here next week, Rick can fix anything. So after class (2PM) I call tech support. I wait on hold for ever, then go through all 1st level stuff, till the tech says, I know what the problem is, but it is 2nd level, here is your case number, and I will transfer you. I wait on hold some more. At 5:29 I get connected to 2nd level. At 5:30 exactly the phone disconnects. At this point I am screaming at the telephone. I am not kidding. I am screaming at the top of my lungs about how I waited for 3.5 hours to get disconnected just before I can get the problem fixed. I call back and get the recording that they are open from 6AM to 5:30PM west coast time. Fuck off and die if you need help outside those hours. So the next morning I drag my ass into the office at 6:01AM and call. It still took 30 minutes to get a warm body on the phone. Thank OG I had written down the 2nd level case number.
I could go on for another page or so, but how about some info from the rest of you end users.
“What do you mean? I can’t erase the OS and put Windows on it?”