If a rogue scientist produces a man-chimpanzee hybrid what would it look like?

If science progresses to the point that man-chimp hybrids are possible and a rogue scientist decides to create one to see if it can be done, do we have any idea what it would look like?

Other than looking intermediate in many respects between the parental species, no. It is impossible to give specifics. Many of the differences between the two species are due to the effects of developmental genes, which may interact in complex ways.

Perhaps something like this?

Jerry Stiller?

Andrew Dice Clay?

The offspring wouldn’t necessarily be intermediate. Consider the liger, for instance, which is larger than either a lion or a tiger, not (as one might naïvely guess) intermediate in size between them.

Let’s keep political commentary out of GQ, please.

General Questions Moderator

True, which is why I said “intermediate in many respects.” In some features the hybrids may resemble the parental species rather than intermediates, and in a few cases may even have novel features.

It really wasn’t intended as such. I don’t understand what about my link indicated political commentary. I believe that the person in the photos looks very much like a chimpanzee and the question was what do I think a human/chimp hybrid might look like. Others are naming popular figures in current events with chimpanzee like expressions too (e.g. jerry stiller, andrew dice clay) I made no commentary whatsoever about anybody’s politics.

Oh, please.

As for the scientific progress needed to produce humanzees, there probably isn’t any – it’s quite possible that both species are naturally interfertile, and at least some experiments have been carried out, though reports of success are little more than rumours. However, at least for some time after humans and chimpanzees branched off from each other, it’s not unlikely that interspecies breeding took place every now and then.

Don’t be disingenuous. Given the identity of the individual you linked to it’s necessarily a political comment.

As a general comment to others, while some joking is permitted in GQ, now that the joke has been made three times, I don’t think further “such and such prominent person looks likes a chimp” posts contribute much to the thread.

General Questions Moderator

I would argue then that given the identity of andrew dice clay or jerry stiller no commentary could be made about either of them that isn’t really about acting at its roots, and therefore is only permissible in Cafe Society.

I’m really not being disingenuous. I meant nothing political by likening an ex presidents appearance to a chimpanzee (one has to take into account the context of the question to begin with). If I thought a different president, actor, or whoever looked like a chimp I might have made the same joke with a link to their photo instead, democrat republican or flying spaghetti monster party. I apologize for the disruption. I won’t hijack the thread further. I honestly was not trying to make a political statement.

There’s a photo of a possible facial mock up here, though I can’t track down the original context so it’s difficult to know how scientific the basis for the reconstruction.

Ok, fine. In any case, it was just a reminder, not an official warning.

General Questions Moderator

Until it was genetically disproven, many people believed that Oliver was a humanzee. While he certainly is not a normal chimp, he is not a cross, but his appearance is certainly a reasonable approximation to me. Poor guy.

It would depend entirely on which genes were taken from a human and which ones were taken from a chimpanzee. All of the obvious physical differences between the two species–body hair, height, ear size, facial profile, weight distribution, and so forth–could in theory go one way or the other. Our rogue scientist would, presumably, be able to pick and choose what he wanted.

That hasn’t stopped some people from listing theoretical benefits of hybrids. Richard Dawkins says that he wants one to demonstrate that there is nothing unique about human beings. Josef Stalin once expressed interest in breeding an army of half-human, half-ape soldiers that would supposedly have superhuman strength and the ability to handle machinery while also being willing to kill without moral qualms.

Given the state of science required for such a feat, I’d venture to say that the hybrid would look like whatever the rogue scientist wanted it to look like.

To my eyes, Oliver does not look anything like what I would expect to see in a human/chimp cross. The proportions of his arms and legs are clearly like those of chimps, nothing like a human’s. His head is smaller than that of a normal chimp; one would expect a hybrid’s to be larger. His brow ridges are as pronounced as a chimp’s, and his jaws seem nearly as projecting. Except for his face, he is as hairy as a normal chimp.

About the only thing about Oliver that really resembles a human is his upright stance and habit of walking bipedally. But that seems to be more behavioral rather than anatomical.

Can I insult Ann Coulter? Because I am required by Wotan to mock her at least once a day, and a humanzee discussion just seems tailor-made for it.