In looking around the web and IRL there seems to be a number of white men who will not consider dating a white woman who has dated or had a past sexual relationship with a black man. In some cases if they find out about her interracial dating history only after they begin dating they will make something else up as to why they are bailing on the relationship.
Obviously it’s racist on it’s face, but the strength of the attitude surprises me. Even fairly attractive and accomplished women are shunned as some sort of unclean trash if they have dated black men. I only see this attitude with respect to white men judging white women for dating black men. Possibly other scenarios exist, but this is the main one I see. This race centric judgment does not seem to be present for any other interracial hookups.
Why does this extreme antipathy exist? While it’s obnoxiously racist it’s not just poor rednecks espousing this attitude. I’ve seen this attitude ranging from trailer parks to the executive suites. And oddly some people who have this attitude aren’t that overtly racist in real world behavior, it’s just that specific hookup scenario that makes them lock the doors on even considering women who have dated black men.
I expect it’s an extension of the whole black = contaminated attitude, combined with the common sexist preoccupation with female “purity”. Like separate water fountains, it’s based on the idea that black people have cooties. A woman who dates or worse in their eyes has sex with a black man is a contaminated vessel, impure and not really “white” herself anymore.
Yes obviously racism, but this “forever tainted & unclean” attitude does not seem to hold with these racists WRT a white women dating Hispanic, Asian or other groups, only black men.
If a woman had a dating history that included black men then racism would be the only reason to exclude her from consideration. If her dating history was almost exclusively black men or any other particular race or nationality she may have established a preference that would justify possibly a longer engagement to make sure she was happy.
I have always been a multi racial dater and really don't have racial preferences. Some black woman strictly date white guys for instance. I feel like if one uses race as a selection tool it throws up a red flag.
I’d suspect some of it is cock insecurity as well. Black men are stereotyped as having larger penises than white guys, so any woman who’s been with a black guy, theoretically at least, isn’t going to enjoy the white dude’s tiny little penis.
Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship.
Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense?
So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons.
Black men are even less white than those other groups I guess.
A part of it may also be to do with the quite widespread idea that black men have bigger penises than whites, and that a woman who has had a black man will never be satisfied by anything less. There is the saying (spread as much or more by black people as anyone else, I think) “Once you go black you will never go back”. Perhaps the men you are talking about are afraid these women are forever secretly judging them to be sexually inadequate.
Uh, supermodel extraordinaire Heidi Klum comes to mind…
E: Dude, how can that question not be racist? You may not be, but to imply that only white women who are damaged in some way date black men is seriously sketchy.
I have never run into that sort of prejudice. I’m a white woman who has dated two black men. Maybe the men I meet are more liberal and self secure than those men who would find it disconcerting on either a conscience or sub-conscience level.
One thing that tends to make them not all that visible to women who date interracially is that they will never see these men as they will not even approach a woman who is known to dated interracially.
WTF - you’re completely wrong. Not only is it not happening in any kind of general way you either know it and you’re making shit up to find out who else is racist or you’re so completely submerged in the racist subculture that you are blinded to the fact that the rest of the world is working to leave that shit behind us.
Sure there are some men who think like this but they are racists. Just like there are some men that kill people and they are murderers. Just because something happens does not make it common or accepted.
I apologize, I mistakenly thought AB was the OP. Please apply the above statements to Astro as well.
