Impossible, I know. But play along for fun, ok?
What if me’n ol’ Bill was sitting in a greasy spoon, eating cheeseburgers and sipping suds. Then George The Lesser came by, seen us, and got all jealous. So he dashes over and clobbers me (open-handed) across the face.
I know the SS would be on me before I could possibly retaliate, so on what pretext would they hold me? Ain’t no way they could ever let me walk the streets, so what would happen to me? Especially seen’s there’d be a whole gaggle of witnesses.
(Bill survives unhurt, but gives the greasy finger to the departing limo).
There is a real question in there. 
Peace,
mangeorge
I suspect they’d detain you until all was stable, and then let you go, if they didn’t find any joints on you. ISTR President Ford’s motorcade running a red light with the Prez’ limo creaming a car whose occupants were faultless in the accident, but they, I believe, had some contraband and were arrested for that.
Watch who you dine with. 
You’re sitting in a restaurant and GWB walks over and slaps your face, with no provocation? And you think the Secret Service would hold you? Like the KGB? Rush you away in a black limousine and you’d never be seen again?
Wow.
Um, why would you think that? Or are you more paranoid that we thought? 
They’d probably let you go.
Shrub Boy, OTOH, would be guilty of assault and battery. That being a “high crime or misdemeanor,” you could start a campaign to have him impeached.
(Hmmm…)
Bill Clennet can tell you what’s likely to happen to you if you get assaulted by a Head of State.
(Chretien was never charged, but the government ponied up for the poor sap’s dental repair bill.)
(Link has an article/interview from the day of the assault which requires VealPlayer to listen to.)
The President jealous of yo’ skanky ass? You ain’t all that girlfriend.
Real answer: You would be tasered, pepper sprayed and a brutal anal probing would be promised should you ever breath a word, even a whisper, of the “incident”.
Where can I download that from?
DAMN! You almost made me spit out my Coke, astro! Good one.
This thread was very confusing for me, as I thought GWB stood for Gay White Boy.
No matter who’s “at fault,” the Secret Service is required to protect the President during an “altercation,” and will certainly do so. (Even if he doesn’t want to be–it isn’t optional.)
No, I don’t think all sorts of conspiracy-esque things will happen to you. As Bush II is in the doghouse with the extreme right, you’ll probably get an offer from Regnery Press for your memoirs.
Gay White Boy? Not this guy, for sure. And I don’t know why one would think he’s in the doghouse. Oh, the extreme right doghouse. Well, who isn’t.
Really, I think the republicans are in for a tough one next election, and GWB is their only hope. So they’ll have to blame it all on someone else, including his unwarrented attack on this innocent citizen.
If it were up to me, tho, I’d choose this scenario;
What if me’n ol’ Bill was sitting in a greasy spoon, eating cheeseburgers and sipping suds, when Jennifer Lopez run’s up and grab’s me by the hand and drag’s me off to a secret island and does unspeakable things to me. Would her entourage be likely to interfere?