So I slap GWB on Jan 21...

  1. What realistic charges could be placed against me if I slapped W on Jan 21, '09? He’s not a government official then. Can it be more than simple assault?

  2. What (probably, in your guess) would the effect on my ability to teach in the public schools? It’s a pretty small crime.

Congratulations, you just made the Secret Service’s watch list.

Right: every cardinal in the Catholic Church is in trouble now :slight_smile:

I’d like a real answer on this, if it’s possible. I have a minor fant… well, let’s say I’m genuinely interested in the answer.

He will still have Secret Service protection so you will either be stopped before you can actually accomplish the slap or you will be detained immediately which is still sufficiently different than slapping a random person. I don’t know how high they can push the charge. It undoubtedly varies by jurisdiction.

Pistols at dawn.

Making a terroristic threat? Assault and battery can be a felony.

Well, that’s a matter of opinion.

Whether a conviction for a politically motivated act of violence is enough to revoke or deny you a teaching license, I couldn’t say. I suppose it depends on your union.

If you do decide to try it, make sure to get it on YouTube. Maybe “don’t shoot me, bro” can be the catchphrase of 2009.


At the very least, you would be charged with assault. It’s a misdemeanor. If I was your boss, I’d fire you.

You just might get shot by the secret service. I wouldn’t risk it.

Well, they didn’t shoot Hinkley, they just tackled him.

Never the less, may I recommend that you just flip him the bird?

And you can do that any time, not just on Jan. 21. Heck, I’m doing it right now!

GWB might just kick your ass. Say what you want about his politics, but the guy is in pretty good shape. That and he has 8 years of built up frustrations in him and may enjoy the chance to release them as a private citizen can.

What would be the penalty for slapping him now?

You get to go hunting with Cheney.

I suggest you sneeze on him, it’ll get lots of airtime and people will laugh at him and not you.

I deeply doubt assault with an open hand can be a felony. It doesn’t even really hurt that much, and couldn’t kill anyone, unlike a really good punch. And I honestly don’t get how it’s a terrorist threat, even if I were promising to do it. I think that word is thrown around quite a bit.

Absolute - You’d fire someone over a misdemeanor, no matter what the circumstances? I completely resent that Americans and my brother were sent into a war that almost by definition can’t be won. Fortunately, bro survived.

I resent that I hefty portion of my income gets taken in order to provide for old people who should have planned their finances better so as not to need it. That doesn’t mean I get to slap the congress who enacted the Social Security laws. It means I’m unhappy with a particular aspect of the representative government we have.

That’s the way it works with a representative government… you vote for people to be in office, and the people who get in office make some choices you like and some choices you don’t.

A representative government, of course, is the absolute worst form of government except for all others that have been tried. An awesome sentiment originally from Winston Churchill, I believe.

Yes, I agree with that sentiment. At least we have some sort of recourse.

But I’m asking a GQ question, and I’m getting arguments as to why it’s a bad idea philosophically.

Because, philosophically, it’s a bad idea to do something that will get armed men peeved with you?

Here you go. Title 18 of the U.S. Code.

As for your chance of getting a job in a public school, you’ll have five years in a federal prison to fill out applications.