No Catharine, I won’t call you “Cat”.
No grandma, I won’t call you “Mimi”.
No John, I won’t call you “Moose”.
Put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it.
Who’s with me in my crusade against bad nicknames (not to be confused with good nicknames)? Step forth, and reveal yourselves.
I address people with the name they wish to be addressed. But you’re perfectly justified in addressing them with a name of your choice, as long as you’re ok with them calling you “that asshole”.
“Good” as defined by who? You? You’re claiming unilateral right to decide on the validity of self-applied identifiers?
Good luck with that.
As long as you don’t try to *give *me a nickname, it’s no biggie to me. Yeah, there’s a little history there - a classmate eons ago who thought she was so cutesy and clever with the way she’d contort your last name into a nickname. But we all pretty much ignored when she called us by those names, and she eventually quit. Still, just don’t.
The nicknames for Grandma get to be excessively trying. Some women think Grandma means they are OLD. You get the Mimi, the Nana, the Nani…
I’m Grandma. I don’t dye my hair, so the name matches my looks. Give me my damn senior discount.
~VOW
Assuming the OP is serious, that’s weird and pretty rude. That being said, I have a co-worker who named his now three year old son an "old man"name that I just can not make myself say. I’ll use the diminutive or just refer to him as “your boy”.
Is it Methuselah?
If you don’t like certain nick names, and the people have a different name that is in use, I don’t find you at fault for having feelings about this and not using the name.
Deciding your value judgement is supreme and warrants a “crusade”? That’s where you lose me.
And what if you don’t like the “nick name” and it’s practically the only name they recognise? Are you still going to insist on using what’s on their drivers license? Are you going to demand to see said license to avoid having to use what you perceive as a bad nick name?
And my assessment of your motives here is entirely rational and logical, since I’ve never really had a nick name myself. 
Ha!
Not quite *that *old but I think it is biblical.
I call my friends whatever they like being called. I know a Michelle who has always gone by Chi. The last time I ran into her she was all excited. She showed my her PA drivers license and it had Chi as her first name.
If only I had a nickel…
This guy gets it.
Nebuchadnezzar?
Dude, c’mon… it’s just a goof… a lighthearted thread that came to me when I was meeting with a woman who prefers to be called “Cat”.
I once met a guy who went by “Full Throttle”, no lie.
Ain’t no way I’m calling you “Full Throttle”, Peter. What a dork.
I went to college with a guy who wanted to be called Monster. He’s now 63, and still wants to be called Monster. Nope. Never did it, never will.
What’s so wrong with Cat, Mimi, and Moose? If that’s what they want to be called, call them that. If someone wants to be called something vulgar, that’s another thing. But the nicknames you listed are totally reasonable. Sure, you might not like them. Then don’t call yourself that.
Maybe I don’t like the nickname “Mike” because there’s no K in “Michael” and therefore is a nonsensical nickname. But if you want to be Mike, go ahead and be Mike. You do you.
On the internet, no one can see how firmly you have your tongue in your cheek. 
Nm
Examples of “good” nicknames…
Used to know a guy we called “Box” because he was always talking about munching box. Heck of a nickname.
Had a roommate in college… Asian fella… went by “Chicken Wing”.
Knew another guy we called “Rooster”. No idea why, but a good nickname nonetheless.