I’m ill-equipped to appreciate a man’s butt, being a straight male myself. I shall imagine a suitably-beassed woman. Mmmmm… round.
I figured you were a straight male, Derleth, “girlfriend”… 
and therein lies the comprehension problem…
Being a straight girl m’self, I’m mostly talking out of my most excellent butt… though MY most excellent butt has NOTHING on matt’s butt, seeing as matt’s tush IS most fabulous, fabulolus indeed.
[QUOTE=Elenfair]
Derleth – the problem you have with understanding the whole “line of the pants” thing is that you’ve never seen Matt’s most excellent buttcheeks in high quality pants. If you had you’d understand. It’s just glorious. It’s the kind of glorious, rainbow-coloured tush you just do NOT ruin the line of, when in pants, girlfriend.
[/QUOTE]
Now, hold on. We’re going to need some evidence for this claim before this thread goes any further.
[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
Let’s talk about my bag for a second. It’s a small, cute, black messenger bag. It went with my outfit.
[/QUOTE]
Heh. Man, if I didn’t know you were gay before…
[QUOTE=Tengu]
Heh. Man, if I didn’t know you were gay before…
[/QUOTE]
I carry a bag as well. Not even a messenger bag, it’s basically a leather purse. It doesn’t mean anything. My fiancee doesn’t mind. (Though she insists on calling it a “satchel” rather than “purse”.)
It’s far more comfortable than keeping a wallet and keys in my pocket, and it insures I have my checkbook, Army knife, cell phone, PDA, etc. with me at all times.
[QUOTE=scr4]
I carry a bag as well.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not the bag’s existence, it’s his describing it in the passage I quoted. Calling it ‘cute’, and pointing out it went with his outfit. If I wasn’t enough of a fan of matt’s to know he’s gay already, that would have done it.
Great, now I’ve rendered the joke even less funny than it was to start with and made myself sound vaguely homophobic…
[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
I summarized it in the first post. If I have a cold, I’ll also need hankies, cold meds, and Halls. Bonus points if it’s a particularly fun party, like the 80s Night I went to for a friend’s birthday – then I need mascara and eyeliner and possibly glitter as well, for touch-ups.
[/quote]
Relax, friend. I was reading Cat Fight as wondering how guys in general get by without a handbag of some sort. I was giving a for-instance of how. It certainly isn’t intended to contradict the fact that some guys don’t get by without a bag they carry around with them, which doesn’t bother me in the least. (FWIW, I agree that guy purses and gal purses should be treated the same by the bozos at the door of the dance club.)
a) Even though I’ve never had my wallet stolen in nearly four decades of having a wallet in my back pocket every day, that’s certainly a personal choice.
b) I don’t see the problem here, but I suspect your pants are tighter than mine, which might make a difference. 
c) Let’s just say this is a concern I wish I’d had to be concerned with at some point in my life. Having women I wasn’t already involved with grope my buns has been such a rarity as to be a nonfactor. Such is life. 
c’) It’s also happened on a few occasions that a guy has groped my buns, which I’ve taken as a compliment, even if I wasn’t exactly hoping that would lead to anything more interesting. But that too has been a rarity. 
[QUOTE=Darth Nader]
I have a few pairs of pants that include a cellphone pocket just above and behind the back of my knee. That works great.
[/QUOTE]
You know what’s weird, is that the idea of a pocket above and behind the back of my knee almost gives me a mild panic attack. I cannot STAND the idea of carrying something in that spot; it’s like imagining a sudden insect crawling across my face. I have no idea why.
Pockets are just ducky for me (today my second-graders asked me, “Why do you have such big pockets?” and I answered, “Because of all the stuff I have to take from you guys during lessons!”). My pants have bulgy lines, although my buttlines are clear and smooth (the idea of sitting on a wallet is very unappealing, albeit not insect-on-cheek unappealing, so I carry my wallet up front). Still, though, the club is a bunch of wankers.
Daniel
I know it sounds weird, but it works really well. No more squirming on barstools to get to a pocket, for one thing.
And yes, either everyone gets to carry a purse or bag, or nobody does.
[QUOTE=Elenfair]
I suppose I could sit behind the Minnesota Wild bench during the hockey season and swear a blue streak in joual and be understood by half the team and the coach, though. 
I’ve been tempted to do it.
[/QUOTE]
I dare you. I DOUBLE dare you. I DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU! Now you HAVE-TA do it.
Er, sorry, my Inner Ten-Year-Old took over for a moment. But I’d still love to see it.
(drop, whose, um, lemme figure this out, godbrother used to be a coach for the North Stars)