I’m ill-equipped to appreciate a man’s butt, being a straight male myself. I shall imagine a suitably-beassed woman. Mmmmm… round.
I figured you were a straight male, Derleth, “girlfriend”… 
and therein lies the comprehension problem…
Being a straight girl m’self, I’m mostly talking out of my most excellent butt… though MY most excellent butt has NOTHING on matt’s butt, seeing as matt’s tush IS most fabulous, fabulolus indeed.
Now, hold on. We’re going to need some evidence for this claim before this thread goes any further.
Heh. Man, if I didn’t know you were gay before…
I carry a bag as well. Not even a messenger bag, it’s basically a leather purse. It doesn’t mean anything. My fiancee doesn’t mind. (Though she insists on calling it a “satchel” rather than “purse”.)
It’s far more comfortable than keeping a wallet and keys in my pocket, and it insures I have my checkbook, Army knife, cell phone, PDA, etc. with me at all times.
It’s not the bag’s existence, it’s his describing it in the passage I quoted. Calling it ‘cute’, and pointing out it went with his outfit. If I wasn’t enough of a fan of matt’s to know he’s gay already, that would have done it.
Great, now I’ve rendered the joke even less funny than it was to start with and made myself sound vaguely homophobic…
Relax, friend. I was reading Cat Fight as wondering how guys in general get by without a handbag of some sort. I was giving a for-instance of how. It certainly isn’t intended to contradict the fact that some guys don’t get by without a bag they carry around with them, which doesn’t bother me in the least. (FWIW, I agree that guy purses and gal purses should be treated the same by the bozos at the door of the dance club.)
a) Even though I’ve never had my wallet stolen in nearly four decades of having a wallet in my back pocket every day, that’s certainly a personal choice.
b) I don’t see the problem here, but I suspect your pants are tighter than mine, which might make a difference. 
c) Let’s just say this is a concern I wish I’d had to be concerned with at some point in my life. Having women I wasn’t already involved with grope my buns has been such a rarity as to be a nonfactor. Such is life. 
c’) It’s also happened on a few occasions that a guy has groped my buns, which I’ve taken as a compliment, even if I wasn’t exactly hoping that would lead to anything more interesting. But that too has been a rarity. 
You know what’s weird, is that the idea of a pocket above and behind the back of my knee almost gives me a mild panic attack. I cannot STAND the idea of carrying something in that spot; it’s like imagining a sudden insect crawling across my face. I have no idea why.
Pockets are just ducky for me (today my second-graders asked me, “Why do you have such big pockets?” and I answered, “Because of all the stuff I have to take from you guys during lessons!”). My pants have bulgy lines, although my buttlines are clear and smooth (the idea of sitting on a wallet is very unappealing, albeit not insect-on-cheek unappealing, so I carry my wallet up front). Still, though, the club is a bunch of wankers.
Daniel
I know it sounds weird, but it works really well. No more squirming on barstools to get to a pocket, for one thing.
And yes, either everyone gets to carry a purse or bag, or nobody does.
I dare you. I DOUBLE dare you. I DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU! Now you HAVE-TA do it.
Er, sorry, my Inner Ten-Year-Old took over for a moment. But I’d still love to see it.
(drop, whose, um, lemme figure this out, godbrother used to be a coach for the North Stars)