Me and my purse.

The BBQ Pit
1

People who have known me for any amount of time would know that besides being a macho (yet sensitive), hockey loving, meat eating, ex chain smoking, sports car driving, family guy I also am in the habit of carrying what some people would consider a purse. It’s a practical 5 by 8 black nylon bag and carries everything I need for my day. It’s pretty well bulletproof and has travelled tens of thousands of miles with me.

So here’s a little snippet of a conversation I had the other night between myself and “Sparky”.

Sparky: What’s that?

Me: My purse.

Sparky: Guys don’t carry purses. laughs

Me: Really? Apparently some do.

Sparky: Why don’t you carry your stuff in your pockets?

Me: Lemme see, try fitting the following into your pockets:

Wallet, checkbook, gum, change, business cards, cell phone, medications, breather mask, smokes, 4 pens, notepad, electronic organizer, receipts.

His wife chimes in and asks why I don’t put these things in my jacket… DUH…

Sparky: Couldn’t you use something else like a fanny pack? (like his perhaps?)

Me: Nope. I hate fanny packs and my stuff wouldn’t fit in one anyways. I see lots of guys carrying these as well as shoulder bags too. It’s practical.

Sparky; Sure, if you’re a student that’s okay.

Me: Why do I have to be a student? Actually, go to Europe and you’ll see guys carrying them everywhere.

Sparky: That’s so gay…

So…

What the fuck is your damage Sparky? Does the fact I carry what you consider a ladies handbag somehow threaten your own perceived image of masculinity you spacially impaired, inbred, narrow minded, fucking redneck?

Your daddy married his sister didn’t he?

Don’t stand there grinning like a fucking chimp as you try to make this some kind of joke you homophobic prick.

You might want to ditch that little purse you carry on your waist and get a real purse. Mine even has a shoulder strap in case I need to keep my hands free for things like smacking out dumb ass homophobic shitheads like yourself.

Just wait until I get my kilt. That will really confuse the ever loving fuck out of you and all the other like minded assholes around here.

This guy pisses me off regularly with other assinine comments, I wonder how he’s going to explain things to his buddies when he gets the shit kicked out of him by a guy wearing what he considers a dress (kilt) and carrying a purse?

2

It’s not a purse, it’s a satchel.

3

Sparky must not be very secure in his masculinity. I wish my husband would carry a damn purse so he would stop sticking all his shit in mine when ever we go out.

4

You need a purse to carry your stuff?

C’mon.

Admit it, part of the reason you do it is the novelty and to drive guys like sparky nuts. :wink:

Myself I don’t use a purse to hold my stuff. I carry it in my truck. :slight_smile: Besides if I carried it in a purse I’d forget it every time I set it down. [Now where did I leave that diet Coke?]

Satchel, purse, handbag, man-bag, man purse, fanny pack, book bag, pack sack, whatever you call it, it’s still just a bag to put shit in.

5

Amen. My purse is full enough as it is.

Doesn’t have to be a womans purse type thing…it could be one of those things that has a strap about the length of a purse but is designed to be worn across the chest instead of over the shoulder and in the back. It looks nothing like a purse and it looks way better than a fanny pack or carrying a bulky backpack every damn where.

6

I carry a tote bag instead of a purse. Actually, I don’t carry a purse because I’m a giant wuss, rather than the other way around. That’s because if my local Sparky started up with me, I wouldn’t trust myself to be able to beat the crap out of him. :wink:

Boys can carry purses, dammit! They’re practical!

7

Well I honestly don’t see how fellas and some ladies can manage WITHOUT a purse or knapsack or something. I feel so NAKED if I go somewhere without my tote bag. Mind you half the time I don’t know what’s in it, but it’s important stuff that I just might need. You know? I will admit that at times I will leave the house without my purse, just taking an id, my keys, and some money, but I still feel quite NAKED when I do that, and I’m constantly searching around for my misplaced purse. Most of the time I can confidently put my hand in my purse and know just how far down to dig to find what I need. Other times I’m scared to put my hand in my purse for fear that something might bite me, but I still rest assured in the knowledge that everytime I leave home, I have most of my house in my purse. [giggle] I say if fellas or ladies want to carry a purse or knapsack or have their “purse” in the guise of a truck carry them, then go for it.

Y’all have a nice day, now. Y’hear? :wink:

8

I would pay to see that. Seriously.

9

Feh. Real Men[sym][sup]TM[/sup][/sym] such as myself only need a wallet and keys.

Damn pansies, the lot of ya. :wink: :smiley:

10

Eeew! Not me! All the kicking and flailing about would likely expose more of Feynn’s personality than I’d likel to see. :wink:

11

Beelzebubba, I’ll have you know, dear, that I have not ever had the desire, nor do I wish to be a “Real MenTM,” nor am I a pansy. That’s a flower, and I’m just a little ol’ sorceress. :slight_smile:

12

I don’t carry a purse. I don’t carry a bag. If it doesn’t fit in one of my pockets it can bloody well stay home. My wife doesn’t carry a purse either. (If we really need to drag about some shit we grab a backpack.)

13

Oh yeah. Me too.

14

When I read that, I immediately though of Groundskeeper Willy from the Simpsons. In one of the episodes, Willy explained that when Scotsmen went on the battlefield, they wore long sequined evening gowns, the aim being to blind the enemy.

I’d pay good money to see you kicking that guy’s ass while wearing a sequined dress! :smiley:

15

AAAArgh! The quote looked fine on preview, I swear!

16

I, for one, like your ‘purse’. It is not at all girly. Besides, if anyone makes fun of your ‘purse’, you can always shove your cane up their ass.

17

I’d like to reiterate that:

And nothing more! Whatever it is, your carrying a bag. There are no inferences to be made about the owner by the type of bag.

18

Don’t do it! It’s hard enough cleaning a sequined dress as it is…blood is IMPOSSIBLE to get out!

Seriously, I think that more guys SHOULD carry purses, or satchels, or whatever they want to call it. Purses are useful things.

19

You ARE!
You ARE!
You ARE!

I meant you are you’re, not your.

20

–Steals Feynn’s Purse and open it–

Hum?
1 cell phone
2 packs of gum
1 copy of Studpuppy magazine
2 bottles of mineral water
1 book entitled: “An Experts Guide to the World’s Greatest Musicals”

Just what we thought.

–Shakes head sadly, gives purse back, and walks away