OMG! Priceless!
How I love a sick he/she!
Whoever you are…one up in my diary!
IANAD, but I’m thinking either depression or ADD.
I find when I get in moods like yours, it’s because I’ve let my idealized picture of myself get too far removed from who I actually am.
For instance, in my ideal life, I get up at 5:30 am to workout, get to work on time, go rowing, come home, study Japanese for an hour or so, spot clean my spotless apartment. On the weekends, I go see shows and hang out in pubs flirting with guys and leading a glamorous life.
In reality, I barely make it to work by 9:30 am, leave late to row, and get home so exhausted I wind up sitting on the couch watching TV. The studying Japanese has turned into flipping through manga and the cleaning just don’t happen. I go out occasionally on the weekends but often spend Saturday hanging out with my cats.
See what I think I should want and what I really want are different. I like vegging on the couch. I work out, just not as often or as early in the morning as I think I ought to. And, truthfully, I don’t like hanging out in bars with a lot of drunk people even though I think I should.
So at the risk of sounding like a self-help book, think about what you really want in life and what you like to do. Do you really want a house? They usually suck up a lot of time and can be a pain in the ass if you don’t enjoy tinkering with stuff… Archery sounds neat but have you tried it? Maybe you can take a class and see if you really like it. (I did that with horseback riding and discovered I just didn’t enjoy it like I thought I would) I’m not saying don’t strive for anything, just make think if part of the reason you avoid doing things is because you really don’t want to do them, you just think you should…
Anyway, sorry for goin’ on in yer rant for so long. Maybe this’ll help, maybe it’s just late night waiting for the dryer to finally finish ramblings…
IMHO you need to find a girl friend.
Good one!
Man, if I were you, I’d be sitting in my cavernous mansion, grasping a glass of brandy with my clawlike fingers, a superior smirk on my greedy soulless face. “Mr. Paladud,” says my servant, “people see you as something of an ogre.” “Why, I ought to club them and eat their bones!”
Not particularly apt, but since the thread is drawing cartoon references… 
Seriously, Lobsang, you ARE making money right now. The car and house require job security; the rest of the stuff does not. You don’t have to put forth any effort beyond getting off your ass and signing up for said activities. If the environment bothers you, rent an apartment of your own.
Love how folks think they fly in under the radar when they are giving advice…cept if you ask for some? What is THAT all about?
I’m in the exact same boat as you Lobsang.
The thing is, I know why I’m afraid to try stuff and even though GI Joe said knowing is half the battle, the other half of the battle seems to be landing at Omaha beach.
The School of Visual Arts here in NYC has some great subway ads.
STOP
I’d follow my dreams but they aren’t on the way to work.
STOP
This is my third screenplay, well the third one I’ve talked about writing.
STOP
Yes I’d like to know more about creative blacksmithing but what will it get me really.
START
SVA
You know I see that ad almost every day.
I hear ya, man. As grateful as I am to have found a terrific job straight out of college with great benefits and job security, when so many others are struggling to keep food on the table… I sometimes find myself wishing they’d fire me so I’d have an excuse to move abroad and live the life I always dreamed about. I always want to get moving and learn new things so I can have a job I enjoy more, but then I find something good on TV and forget about it, since I have the attention span of a moth.
Maybe we should switch places? The Isle of Man is exotic enough for me, and the chicks here would dig your accent!
Hi, Lobsang.
I have that, too. I came to realize that I didn’t want to be a secretary in Omaha (a medium-sized city in Middle America if you’re not familiar!), so I just up and moved to Chicago one day where the chances that I could be trained to do something a LOT more interesting were much higher.
Then I sat around in Chicago for a year being a… you guessed it! Secretary!!
I signed up for classes when I first got here and then quit almost immediately because the anxiety was overwhelming. I’ve thought long and hard about it, and why I procrastinate so much. I’ve come to realize that I think that if I “change my life” it means that I will have to suddenly become a totally different person overnight, and my anxiety comes from fear of losing the things in my current life I really do enjoy coupled with having to be competent in a new life all of a sudden.
Hmmm… perfectionistic much???
So, my procastinating is mostly based in fear, NOT laziness. It is a lot to imagine a whole new life, and it is anxiety producing to have to live that whole new life without time to adjust to it. Sounds weird, but even good change produces stress.
Sooooooooo… the way I deal with the issue is to imagine myself evolving into a new life, not suddenly upending my current one. I expand my life by making small changes and taking the time to fully experience the feelings that go along with it. When I become comfortable with the change, I move on to the next step. For example, I’m taking voiceover training. It brings up all kinds of issues for me revolving around competence and vulnerability. Last year at this time I would’ve quit to cope with the uncomfortable feelings. But this year I just keep going every week. That’s all I have to do. Just keep going. I don’t even think about ten steps down the road when I’m a working vo artist. I’m not there yet. Today, I’m just dealing with what it feels like to be a babe in the woods.
Of course it causes you anxiety to imagine yourself living a whole different life! And I believe that is the source of your procrastination. If I were giving advice 
, I’d tell you to take on just one small part, one initial step in the process of the evolution towards the reality you imagine and try it. See how it makes you feel. Keep with it even though it makes you wanna throw up. When you no longer want to throw up, begin the next step towards your dream. When you no longer want to throw up, etc.
Eventually, you will find yourself sitting in that house, drinking that fine drink and you will be amazed!
And, remind me I said all this next month when I can’t get myself going, okay?
Part of what you have to do is look back and see all the progress you did make over the past year. You sound kind of like me in that it is very easy to remember/dwell on the disappointing things about yourself than to remember the impressive things.
I get depressed that I’m the oldest coach in the tutoring center I work at- even one of the managers is younger than me. I sometimes feel ‘dumb’ for not graduating earlier. I also really come down on myself for low grades in school.
Part of laziness is about not wanting to do more work. I harness my laziness by saying to myself “There is no way in hell I’m doing this class twice- I’ll buckle down and pass the first try” or “I don’t want to be stuck with my parents after graduation because I’m still unable to find a decent job” so I’m currently looking for a relevant job NOW before I even graduate.
I’m not pitting you. This is the advice I wish someone had given me four years ago, which I’ve been slowly working out, but only recently realised I have. GET OFF YOUR FREAKING ASS AND DO SOMETHING INTERESTING IF ONLY FOR FIVE MINUTeS. Seriously, it’s fun. And then afterwards, you don’t feel wasted posting on SDMB.
That reminds me, I need to go do somehting fun now
FWIW, tremorviolet, I hate the ideal you.
lobsang, As a result of this thread, I’ve committed to exercise for 5 minutes today. I’m diabetic and the medicine I’ve been on made me gain 25 pounds, and I have no energy. I know that exercise is vital (or I’m going to die), but I’m just too tired to do it. I thought about emailing you to see if you wanted to make some kind of exercise commitment to each other – if you’d be interested, email me. I’m talking about as little as 5 minutes a day. A journey of a thousands steps starts with one step, yadayadayada.
You can’t spell either, you fat loser.
If you want a change, you can go and clear out minefields. I’m in the same position as you are. I have a pretty good job with good pay for someone my age (23), but other things too in my life, it just isn’t fulfilling. I suppose I could get another job, but I want other changes in my life too. I’ve definately decided that whatever I do, it’s gonna be drastic, because I need drastic changes right now. That’s why that minefield gig looks mighty tempting. BAM, your life changes, instantly.
I watched Prisoner of Azkaban today. As usual (these days after watching a good film) I am suffering post-cinema blues. I mean, harry can summon the greatest Petronas ever and he’s only 13. What can I do?? write a helpful macro that saves time at work? [sarcasm]WoW! That’ll have the hearts of every beautiful girl pounding for me for sure![/sarcasm]
I am just another mediocre human, of which there are billions. Cinema is good for providing you with a few hours of fun and happiness but it is an cruel bastard for reminding you that your life is dull and you are not special.
(I notice there are many replies since my last post, which contain advice and such. I am in no condition right now to give them due consideration but I assure you guys I will do that soon, and I appreciate your input)
It sounds more like discouragment rather than laziness.
I know, I’m feeling it myself. I’ve been looking for a job for almost two years now since I quit K-Mart. So far, not much has happened. I haven’t even heard back from some of the RETAIL places where I applied. The ONLY place that responded was the Heinz Museum for a volunteer position. To work in the gift shop. That’s right-an unpaid retail job.
Anymore, I’m almost afraid to put myself out, to send out an application, a resume-what’s the use anymore? No one’s gonna hire me.
Yeah, it gets disgusting. But I just gotta keep trying. Don’t give up. SOMETHING has to come along.
But yeah, I still get depressed about it. Sometimes I get scared that I’m gonna have to go crawling back to KrapMart and end up working there for life. I have nightmares about it. It’s pretty damn scary.
*[sub]I realize I’m probably exposing myself to ridicule-"Guin’s such a loser, she needs to get a life and a job. Don’t bother-I’ve heard it all before. Unless you have a desire to hire me, or enough money to give me so I can do these things, shut the fuck up. I KNOW that I look pathetic at this point, and you rubbing it in my face is NOT fucking helping.[/sub].
A wise man (I forget who) one said: “How you spend your days, is, of course, how your spend your life.”
Do you want to spend your life coasting in your parents’ house, or do you want to live it? It’s one or the other. People (myself included sometimes) lose track of the fact that by putting things off till tomorrow they not only put off action till another day but lose today in the meantime. Life is going by. If you don’t change, one day you’ll realize most of your life is behind you, lost to aimless coasting. If coasting is what makes you happiest, then fine. If being more engaged in life is what would make you happiest, then you need to get on the stick and start going after it. What do you really want it to be? You can’t go back later and redo it if you don’t like the end result.
I used to feel like you do now, until I came to a very important realization of my place in the grand scheme of things. I would look at people around me who were doing so much and I was doing so little and I would get angry and depressed. I knew that a) energy cannot be created or destroyed and b) there is a finite amount of energy in the universe, so I concluded that c) these overachieving bastards were stealing my energy! Mr. Perfection is out there getting 2 degrees with a 4.0 average, writing incredible stories, and having a full social life while I’m napping and channel-surfing. The only way he could be pulling it off is if he was stealing my allotment of energy! I can’t get anything done because this schmuck is doing everything!
One day I realized what a wonderful situation this really was. If we all used our fair share of energy, everything would be mediocre. If it weren’t for my napping, laziness and procrastination, there would be no great books, movies, science breakthroughs, etc. I’m helping someone discover the cure for cancer right now!
So put your feet up and know that you’re doing your part for the betterment of mankind.
Don’t make a big list with a bunch of things on them: pick one small thing and just do it.
You mentioned you might be interested in archery? Cool–next time your home after work, flip through the yellow pages, look up “Archery,” call a shop and ask for lessons. Unlike the car and house, it won’t be a long-term financial commitment, and you’ll get to “try before you buy.”
I’m in the same boat as you, I just don’t have the hang-ups. Relatively young, decent (though thoroughly unsatisfying) job, couple of hobbies, reasonable car, looking at a house next year, etc. One of the things that got me off my ass (other then the fact that I didn’t like living with my parents) was moving from Southern California to Dallas. Being 1200 miles away from all my old social contacts (such as they were) forced me to find something to do.
So maybe look at moving to France or something.