It’s not the lack of cranial capacity or ability to function in a social or business environment. I’m not unpleasant to be around and I’ve never been known to alienate people (unless they have it coming). I don’t frighten children or small animals. I’m a smart dresser, have good hygien habits, look people in the eye, have a firm handshake and can communicate ideas effectively.
When I am making the effort, I inspire confidence in people as to my professional abilities and I’ve been know to make and implement some pretty effective business and technical solutions.
So why aren’t I the model of a major modern professional?
Because I’m an…
**Idle Bastard! **
I get into a new workplace, impress everyone early on with the walk and the talk and then I settle into a groove. Usually it’s the groove with least resistance and I begin to do the minimum required to get through the days, weeks, months, years… Until I’m bored out of my mind and people no longer remember my early contributions and I’m just another cog. I get pissed off and want to break out of my rut. I find a new place to work. Lather, rinse and repeat.
There are hobbies that I’ve never pursued and made excuses about not having enought time/space/money to pursue. I regret this the most among all else.
For me it’s probaby that I don’t take enough risks. Maybe that’s the same as being an idle bastard. I stick with jobs that don’t pay as much as I’d like because of the security. I never started my own business because I didn’t want to wind up bankrupt if it didn’t succeed. Etc.
Quicky - You sound exactly like my little brother. He’s 29, got his shit together, is a good looking guy, holds a good job, is married, and as yet is stifled in not making it Big. First he was concerned about not making enough money, then when the money started to come in he was concerned with not having the right job for his “purpose in life”. etc…etc…
I hate to factor in Luck to any quation, but I was certainly fortunate to take the risks I did, and get where I am today. I bulled through graduate school, and took the first teaching job that came to me at my old alma mater. There I made associate professor in 5 years and started a successful design business on the side. That was in Connecticut.
Now in Phoenix (I went to grad school at ASU) I am a principle at a decently large Environmental planning firm, still running my small business on a limited basis, and still sticking to the one rule I have always abided by. Whatever you do, have fun doing it. But remain realistic about it. Of course you are not always going to have fun, of course things will come into your life that throw a bone in your plans. But ride the wave and let life steer you in the direction you need to go at that time.
What stands between you and untold success and riches - first define what that means for you.
I wanted to be a marine archaeologist when I was twelve. I did not make that goal…am I sad? No, of course not. I found that once I went to college I had an aptitude for Psychology. However, I wanted to join my passion for the environment into that aptitude for psychology. Thus my official title after all the glitz and glam, is an Environmental Psychologist. Getting out of academia was the best thing I could have ever done…it is allowing me to live the “save the environment” side of my dreams… And the best part is, I get paid to do it.
In essence there is nothing standing in the way of success and riches - it all came with time, calculated risks, and the ability to have fun in the face of adversity.
[ol]
[li]Lack of ambition.[/li][li]Lack of focus.[/li][li]Salutations, Opal[/li][li]Lack of social skills.[/li][li]Lack of a really good submachine gun.[/li][/ol]
I think it’s what Pokey said – unwillingness to take risks. And then you get to a point in your life where you can’t take risks, because you don’t want to wind up living with your kids in a refrigerator carton in a verminous alley.
That could be behind the lack of monetary ambition. I’m having moderate fun. Moderately monetarily successful. Decent enough home life. Blah blah blah.
If I really worked hard, and made more money and devouted myself to generating income, I’d die anyway.
Great question. For me, it is not unwillingness to take risks. I have moved all of the country, left high-paying jobs to go back to school, etc. In fact, I just recently left a secure, well-paying job to open my own private practice (I am a psychologist). So what holds me back?
In the past, it has been a reluctance to promote myself. If someone thought I was sub-par, I didn’t confront them or try too hard to reverse that thought. I knew people in graduate school who weren’t as talented as others, but did very well just because they were great at self-promotion. As a colleague of mine said, “Being able to bullshit is not a bullshit skill.” Indeed. I just hate having to prove myself to someone who is wrong about me–or right, for that matter.
Now, as a private practitioner, I have to promote myself, and oddly enough, I like it. Well, as long as I get a good reception, which I have so far.
The other thing that stands in my way can be lack of focus. I am finding that because I am the other person who determines what I do with my day that it is hard to decide what of the 300 things I can do today, I should do today.
I am pretty sure that posting here isn’t one of them, though.
Yeah, risk aversion is not my problem. I’ve enjoyed many wonderful opportunities. Lived in interesting cities in the US. Enjoyed a good standard of living.
I’m just bone idle is all. It’s a failing. I’m trying to break out of this pattern but it’s proving harder than I thought.
Seems that my curse is that I can work on half the brain power and still get away with it 99% of the time. Not that I’m particularly intelligent, just intelligent enough to be my own worst enemy when it comes to real personal success.
Pretty much the only thing that stands between me and untold riches is my stunning success. :rolleyes:
I guess you could call me an Idle Bastard, but the fact is that I would rather spend my time playing guitar, hiking, and goofing off. I’m not on this planet to work or make money; I’m here to have a good time.
That being said, I’m very fortunate that my chosen profession is, much of the time, a lot of fun. About 80-90% of the time, I enjoy my job and the people around me. I just don’t enjoy them as much as I enjoy seeing the sunset in some remote far off place that I had to walk to, carrying my shelter and belongings on my back. I don’t enjoy my job as much as playing guitar, having sex, listening to music or reading a good book, either. Or any combination of those things, if possible. (Come to think of it, if I could have sex while playing guitar in the woods, that would pretty much rock! )
Idle Bastard? Maybe, but I think I’ll be happier remembering my life than most people who are motivated by wealth and status. So, I have the success part, to some degree, even tho it doesn’t come with riches. <shrug> It works for me.
Just to be clear, “untold success and riches” are used as hyperbole in my OP. Being unspeakably wealthy is not a primary goal. Though, a highly desireable one.
I’m really getting at being able to succeed in life by overcoming some shortcomings that basically amount to me not applying myself. In almost any aspect.
I’m the guy the teachers in school complained about at parent teacher interviews…“QS is a very bright student, if only he’d learn to really apply himself instead of just getting by on B’s and C’s.”
I like what I do (for a living). If only I could discipline myself to doing it in a systematically consistant and dedicated manner.
As for hobbies, I really need to apply myself in that direction before my life passes by and I’ve regrets enough to sink an entire fleet of sailboats I could have built.
I have a certain amount of risk aversion, maybe too much (or maybe not). But I think mainly it’s that I have neither the interest nor the personality to be really successful. I know what one has to do to make it in a large corporation, and for the most part it means putting a lot of one’s life on the back burner. And you have to identify those who can help you in your quest to get ahead, and then keep them real happy. Too much effort for me.
As far as being an entrepreneur, you need to do some serious planning, get the money lined up, and work like hell until the thing is up and limping. And you have to manage growth. Blech! I’d rather work my 40 hours and go home.
It’s a failing. I’m trying to break out of this pattern but it’s proving harder than I thought.
)