If it's so important to you, YOU do it!

The BBQ Pit
1

Girl Scouts. They are known for the cookie sale. But for every troop doing the sale, there needs to be a Cookie Mom - someone insane enough to take on the inventory storage, sorting, and tracking, book balancing, and paperwork of a small business, all in her spare time! She even has to go to a mandatory training seminar to prepare for it. When my kid’s leaders asked who wanted to do it, everyone took a metaphorical step backward.

Yesterday one of the leaders repeated once again that they needed people to volunteer, and if one or more people didn’t take on all the Cookie Mom duties, the girls wouldn’t get to sell cookies this year. And thus far, I’m OK with the conversation - the parents should realize that it’s possible the troop won’t be able to sell cookies if no one volunteers.

But then the leader went on about how it’s such a shame, and that she and the other leader are SO hoping that the girls can sell cookies, and it’s such a big deal, blah, blah, blah.

I a.) don’t give much of a shit, since my kid doesn’t like selling cookies; and b.) have prior volunteer obligations that take up enough of my time already. Clearly this leader wasn’t used to someone being impervious to her guilt trip, but the whole time I was thinking, “Don’t try to unload your devotion to this idea on me - if it’s so vital in your view, **you **do all the work!”

(I *am *grateful to the leaders for volunteering to lead, and have no expectation that they ought to take on the cookie crap in addition, FTR.)

It reminds me of when we had a new baby, I had continuing health problems after delivery, and a few members of my husband’s family 700 miles away commenced bitching and moaning that they SO wanted to see the new baby, and we needed to haul our asses up there post haste. I started feeling guilty, until my dad said, “If it means so much to them, why don’t they schlep their own perfectly healthy, unencumbered-by-an infant asses down to you?”

It feels good to have cultivated this immunity to guilt trips, but it still irritates me when someone tries to pull this move.

2

Whatever. I give this rant a 2. Shit, maybe only a 1. Pretty pathetic really.

My wife is the leader of our older daughter’s girl scout troop and it is amazing how apathetic the other parents are. Most of the moms were psyched to have my wife and a friend leading the troop for the last two years, but they view it as after school care or something. None of them want to participate at all, they just want to drop the kids off every other Wednesday and leave it at that (it used to be every Wednesday, but went to every other week for lack of support). Ask them to help chaperon an event, participate in the cookie sale (which funds the events - you do realize this right?) or really take any other interest in what the troop does and they display an attitude similar to yours. Most likely this will be the last year for my daughters troop because my wife is sick of doing everything thanklessly for the troop. So, yeah, the guilt trip she was trying to lay on you may suck, but I would say your attitude sucks just as much.

3

I like your dad already! I hope that was a direct quote. :slight_smile:

4

I agree with this rant.

I’m an active volunteer for feral cat rescue. I do this with my free time and extra money. I hates it with a burning passion when someone tells me that I HAVE to change how I do things with my limited free time. Yeah, if I don’t go out and pick up the domesticated kittens, they might get set free to become feral, but there are other rescue groups who want kittens.

Don’t try to guilt me into dropping everything to pick up kittens because you are too lazy to write down the numbers and make calls by yourself.

5

I have no problem with the OP deciding not to volunteer, especially if she’s already doing other volunteer duties.

But I can see the leaders’ point of view. They’re already doing volunteer duties for the girl scouts and they’re asking other people to step forward for the extra cookie-related duties rather than take those additional duties on themselves. And that seems like a reasonable request.

It’s the equivalent of what the OP described about the family visits. You don’t ask the person who’s already busy to take on the burden of visiting. It’s the people who are the least encumbered who should make the effort of visiting.

6

I was the cookie mom, elected, one year. They told me to drive out to a warehouse and pick up umpteen cases of cookies in my car and they packed that baby chock full. I was impressed! Unloaded the cookies in my garage, and all the GS moms came by in one evening, took them all. That wasn’t so bad. The actual selling of cookies was kind of a drag, but we did that, too. (Except at the mall when we had to leave because a gang fight broke out on our floor.) So my volunteering amounted to maybe half a dozen times over two years, it wasn’t that bad! At least I didn’t have to take my kid door to door in the neighborhood.

7

Every day, it seems, I get a new reason to be elated and relieved that I don’t have children.

8

Agreed! I get enough pressures on me to volunteer as it is. NO. I don’t want to. I very much like my life the way it is. I don’t care if you call me selfish. Sure I am. I like my life the way it is.

9

You also don’t have to run around enrolling the kids in everything under the sun either. Time at home bored or doing chores or playing outside won’t kill them.

10

But…Thin Mints!! :frowning:

11

I’m not sure I understand the hostility to being asked to help on a key fund raising drive.

The cookies fund the District (and consequently the troop) paying for tents, offsetting camp fees, buying stoves, lanterns, crafts etc. The funding drive is likely key to the functioning of the Guide organization. If parents want the Guides to have those resources, and by having their children enrolled it seems they would, then they have to accept that volunteering outside of just being a leader may be needed.

Since it is key to funding and the leaders aren’t doing it and no parents have stepped forward then I can understand why the leaders would harp on about it. The parents apparently don’t care.

12

The parents would probably rather just pay a reasonable amount for activities instead of turning their offspring into salesmen. Same problem I had with school fundraisers, I’d gladly just donate $20 rather than have my kid sell overpriced stuff to family and friends.

13

Except that some parents will NOT pony up the cash. I have belonged to groups where they stated either sell $150, or donate $25 - your choice.

As for the OP - tough shit to you. As a leader, I stand in front of parents and harangue, cajole, and beg to get help. I am now at the point that when someone complains about anything - I tell them to step up or shut up. You want a full program for your kid - tell me what you can do to help. Don’t give your personal sob story - just tell me what you can do. Can’t be the cookie mom - can you at least pick the cookies up?

Now - if you want to pull your kid from selling shit - fine, make sure you cover your part of the lost income or be ready to be left out of an activity.

A bunch of fucking lazy pricks and bitches who want me to provide everything for their special snowflake, while they can’t be asked to do shit.

Fuck you. I will do things for the kids, I have hope for their future. At least half of the parents are a lost cause and completely worthless other than driving their child to the meetings. By the way - pick them up on time so that I don’t have to stand around with a second adult to protect myself from accusations of child abuse.

14

I was cookie mom for 4 years. One year, I was cookie mom for both of my daughters’ troops.

First of all, I kind of agree that the cookie sale is rather a sham. The bulk of the proceeds go towards the administration (including paid positions) and their Girl Scout camps. Very little goes to the Girls directly. When I was Cookie Mom, the troop made less than 45 cents per box, and that was only if they declined all the stupid trinkets (a glow light! a stuffed animal!) that went to top sellers. By contrast, the Boy Scouts sold $15 boxes of popcorn, and 80% of the proceeds went right back to the troop.

I also admit that I was disgusted that the Girl Scouts had not done something to simplify the process since 1950, including using carbonless paper. At the time I was cookie mom, pc’s weren’t ubiquitous, so I could kind of understand the need for a manual system, especially for troops in poorer regions. But, by now EVERYONE has access to a p.c. There is NO excuse why they are not webified by now. I do my TAXES with a software program; SURELY they could come up with one for a cookie sale. If they did, I think they’d have far less trouble filling the position. It’s one thing to ask a volunteer to send out an email with deadlines and links; quite another to ask them to take a 3 hour training class, fill out forms by hand, try to figure out convoluted graphs, and require them to drop forms off to district leaders halfway across town.

However. IF you enroll your daughter in an organization, you should be prepared to pitch in and do your part. If you enroll your daughter in an organization that is supported mainly by fundraising, expect to raise funds. I wasn’t a leader, but I certainly did my part. I was the Treasurer for several years, I ran the cookie sale, I participated in booth sales, I carpooled kids who needed rides, and I spent many a sleepless night on field trips supervising the girls.

Girl Scouts can really offer great benefits to girls. However, it relies on volunteers. So my advice is to complain to the right people about the cumbersome process if you must, but do not let that deter you from staying in Girl Scouts. You will look back on those field trips, and even those booth sales, with fond memories once they’re grown and gone.

15

If you’re impervious to her guilt trip, why are you so bothered by it that you have to pit her for it? If you’re steadfast in your resolve as you say, you should let it wash right over you and not affect you.

So you had to listen to the leader ask for volunteers. Boo hoo.

16

So do we.

17

Sounds like my local Toddler group. One of the commitee had sent out a couple of nice emails about the next commitee meeting, and how they needed more people, and I thought, yeah that sounds fair enough, I’ll go along, if I can get a babysitter.

And then a different commitee member sent a MASSIVE GUILT TRIP email about how the whole Toddler group would fold if not enough people joined up, and how much HARD WORK they’d put in and how AWFUL it would be if not enough people came, and, oh, I can’t remember the details but basically it’d be all our fault if we didn’t immediately sign up to do everything.

It put me right off, I skipped the meeting and started looking for other Toddler groups to attend instead. Apparently only about 4 people went to that meeting, and now the group’s about to fold, so I don’t think I was the only one turned off by that approach.

(plus the way that bitch speaks to people in real-life, but that’s for the mini-rant thread)

18

There is no question but that parenting is the single most fulfilling and rewarding experience of my life. And I wouldn’t do it again for all the whiskey in Ireland.

19

So would I , and if that was the extent of the issue, it would be fine. But it’s not just that parents don’t want to be involved in fundraisers. They don’t want to drive/chaperone on trips, or plan/shop or decorate for the Christmas party. And often have no problem complaining about the program or coaching (happens with teams, too) or making suggestions about how it could be improved , even while they practically push the kid out out of a still moving car. There’s a reason for the saying “BSA stands for Babysitters of America” And you don’t have to volunteer for these things just because you have kids- but neither do you have to sign your kids up for for essentially free, volunteer run programs.

20

I sit on a local Girl Scout board of directors.

This is an organization that has, for the last 100 years, worked on a model wherein adults (usually parents of kids in troops, but not always) volunteer their time to provide girls with various interesting opportunities. The local council also provides some activities (larger programs, camps, etc.) The organization cannot work properly if adults do not volunteer. There is not enough money to hire paid staff to do the “cookie mom” duties for every troop.

It costs $12/year for a girl to sign up as a Girl Scout. That money goes to the national organization. The local councils and troops don’t get a dime of that. The bottom line is, in order to keep Girl Scouts an activity that is affordable for girls, the organization needs adults to volunteer their time.

One of the main reasons Girl Scouting is floundering right now is that most parents do not want to give money OR time. They want Girl Scouts not to cost any more than it already does. We have tried explaining to parents that the annual $12 they pay does not go to the troop or cover activities, but parents don’t want to voluntarily give more. The number of parents who are willing to donate to the organization is very low. Most parents who send their kids to camp or other Girl Scout activities do not want to pay fees that cover the cost of providing those activities. We know. We’ve tried.

Therefore, cookie sales are essential; they fund over 50% of every council. In our council, 80% of that money is spent directly on activities for girls; the remaining 20% pays salaries of some staff members that facilitate things like camp, anti-bullying programs, outside fundraising, etc. But it has become harder and harder to get parents to volunteer to help by leading troops, selling cookies, etc. We do, however, have lots of moms who want to drop their kid off for (what they see as) some free childcare after school.

We could start charging higher fees. We could charge parents the full price of what it costs to run our sleepaway camps, for example. (We subsidize the cost of camp and many other programs now, using cookie sale money, external donations from the United Way and others, and grants.) We could charge a large fee for the cost of activities. But we have heard from parents that if we do this, they will take their girls out of Girl Scouting, because most prefer not to pay more.

The bottom line is, if parents won’t volunteer their time and energy, Girl Scouts will cease to exist. That’s the operating model of the organization–ask parents and others in the community to volunteer their time. If you don’t want to, OK, but maybe consider this–if you aren’t willing to volunteer, and your daughter isn’t willing to sell cookies–you are both benefiting from the money and toil of others if you participate in virtually any Girl Scout activity.

Of course, if you would prefer not to donate time, perhaps you would be willing to give a donation to your local council or your daughter’s troop instead.

Until then, though, I think you will agree that it is rather silly to enroll your daughter in an organization that makes it very clear (for the last 100 years!) that cookie sales and parental volunteerism are the lifeblood of the organization, and then get angry when you and your daughter are asked to do these things.