If my life was like a videogame...

Female martial artists wear very little clothing.

Fat women do not exist.

Fat men do, but they’re very rare and almost invariable evil. And for some reason, they’re always WAY more agile than they look.

If life was really bad…

And there seemed to be no way out…

Adn everything you thought you knew was wrong…

And all of your friends were really your enemies…

And you were out of keys, and money, and food…

And every alley was blind, and every end was dead…

And you were doubting yourself and losing all hope…

And you were searching for reasons not to end it all, and failing at the task…

You could simply type in the cheat code for god mode and waste everyone’s ass.

•You could never be injured (not killed) and left fully incapacitated.

Often, one can be on the edge of death, and still be capable of running, jumping, and fighting at peak efficiency.

Sure, some o’them YOUNGER sprites might start limping, or lose a helmet, but no one ever gets left thrashing helpless on the ground after having both legs blown off by a Panzerfaust.

•Speaking of which, WWII German weaponry just seems to get more and more advanced, the more time passes. Obviously the work of time travelers.

•Most older streets only have one side. Most older rooms and buildings only have three sides.

Newer streets just get have enough fog to put London to shame.

•Curious, wedge shaped (albeit with a crooked “stem” attached) UFOs could be sighted regularly in the skies. Along with odd Alphanumeric cloud formations, which seem to spell out odd mirror-image phrases like “REVO EMAG” and “NIOC TRESNI.”

>You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>n
>You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>s
>You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>e
>You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>w
>You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>help
>For help, read the manual.
>read manual
>I don’t see a manual here.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
>aaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhh!!!
>I didn’t understand that sentence.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

Con: People would shun you and insult you because of arbitrary, purely external characteristics such as whether or not you are cell-shaded.