I consider this proposition very carefully, and it is impossible to call.
It splits the public right down the middle, and here are two scenarios concerning the resurrection of John Lennon, which illustrate that returning from the dead is fraught with difficulty, which is why nobody attempts this too often, if at all.
The Lennon theories are followed by a further imaginary case, which concerns Princess Diana, and here they are:
The Return Of John Lennon - Best Case
He fakes his death outside the Dakota building, and pays Mark Chapman to take a fall. His coffin contains nothing but sand, or maybe cement, so nobody dies in his place, and Mark Chapman is now liberated from his prison cell, and he buys as many copies of Catcher In the Rye as he can fit into his new penthouse suite in some plush apartment building or other.
Yoko Ono is privy to these arrangements, as are his sons, and maybe a couple of other people who are close to him. He is all these years travelling the world seeking out new musical influences, and undergoes plastic surgery so nobody gets wise to his continued presence in this life.
He donates a great deal of money to good causes during this time, such as deprived children, and animal species which become scarce, and helping Marconi out of difficult spots.
Spin doctors and image consultants are bussed in from just about everywhere, and they do a lot of talking about how he presents himself to a 21st century public. Still, many citizens are irate at the deception he perpetrates back in 1980, and ever since, and he has a lot of explaining to do in this regard.
Naturally he remains a fine songwriter and musician, and he works on a new album over the past year, ready for his re-introduction to the world. This album is released on the day of his press conference, which is held to explain how all this mystery comes off, and the album sales shatter all existing records, although many parties consider he sounds just like Oasis, at that.
He ages well during his absence, and looks not a day over 50, although he is, of course, 61 at this time. He undertakes a world tour to promote his return, and his support act on the tour is none other than Britney Spears, or maybe Victoria Beckham, who can always use a nice piece of publicity, otherwise she thinks she does not exist.
So, any initial outrage at his behaviour diminishes very fast, as his charisma and appeal is undimmed by this untimely and extended sabbatical, and within 3 months it is like he never goes away.
The Return Of John Lennon - Worst Case
He fakes his death outside the Dakota building, but somebody dies in his place, and he sets up Mark Chapman to take the rap, so Mark Chapman is innocent all this time, and is really a nice guy.
He never tells Yoko and the family about these plans, and Yoko is greatly astonished to see John walking around and about as if nothing happens.
21 years of drug and alcohol abuse make him look like Keith Richard, only worse, if that is possible, and he is unrecognisable from the John Lennon we know and love. He walks with a stoop, which he gets from too much lying on a sofa and watching constant repeats of The Texas Chain-Saw Massacre.
He composes no more songs during this time, and tries to regain public affection by miming to ancient versions of A Hard Day’s Night, and Ticket To Ride, that is if the cops allow him out on bail.
His real crime under these circumstances is not to be dead, as he is by no means the John Lennon the public remembers, and they wish he never returns, and so does he, especially when he is sent to Sing Sing, or wherever, for the rest of his life.
The Return Of Princess Diana
Of course, a major factor in the changed perception of a famous citizen who pops up from being dead, is how long they stay dead before they are once more alive and kicking.
Furthermore, if they hypnotise the public during their lifetime, this is greatly in their favour.
Princess Diana dies in 1997, as far as we are aware, and She turns up one day as fresh as a daisy, to the surprise of everyone concerned.
She explains that She needs some chilling out time, so for the past four years She runs cocaine up from Colombia to the US in a light airplane, and several gorillas equipped with Kalashnikovs keep Her company in case of trouble.
The money She makes from this cocaine She invests in a white slavery operation, which She controls from a remote island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The profit from the slavery gig She ploughs into the arms trade, and these tripartite business dealings make Her plenty rich, and is more lucrative than being Royal, which is a very lucrative proposition indeed.
Well, we say, everybody needs a break every now and again, and furthermore, it is a good thing to have a hobby, so where is the problem here? Diana has a difficult life, what with being in all the papers, and always on the television, even though she plants many of these stories herself, so there is the stress factor to consider regarding all this previous publicity.
Also, we maintain, a marriage to Charles is bound to send even the most honest woman off the rails, and into the drugs/slavery/arms trades. So, the short answer is, we welcome her back with open arms, we forgive and forget, and all is well in the world once more.
