If the Jews really did rule the world...

If the Jews really did rule the world by proxy, what would the world be like?

Would every McDonalds be kosher?

Could you get a prescription for chicken soup?

Would every pig on the planet breathe a huge sigh of relief?

C’mon all you Elders of Zion, reveal your nefarious plans for the shape of things to come! :smiley:

No more “Cut or Uncut” OPs.

That Jack Dean Taylor (or whatever his name was) would have had to rail on about face-lifts, or something. (yay!)

It would be illegal to teach “Kabbala” to anyone except the most worthy.

Madonna is not worthy.

Dougies would have franchises world-wide. I’m on a cross-country road trip, and I’m hungry? Hey, the “food” sign for exit 316 says there’s a Dougies!

All I can think of for now…maybe I’ll peek in on this thread again when I’m not hungry.

All United States government documents would be printed in English and Yiddish. :wink:

Every month would be Ramadan. :wink:

Just passing through—Hey, cmkeller, is Dougie’s a Kosher BBQ? :eek: :smiley: The site’s not too detailed, as it’s being rebuilt.

Every smilie would look like this: ;j

Every radio station would play all klezmer, all the time! Hell yeah!

(Because obviously all Jews listen to klezmer and only klezmer. Bob Dylan and Lou Reed aren’t fooling me one bit.)

And Streisand. :smiley:

The official rules of English grammar would be different.

“That woman I did not have sex with!”

10 and 20 dollar bills to be replaced with all new 18 and 36 dollar bills.

Jessica Simpson would spend her days pondering gafilte fish.

Heh. It took me ages to figure out why some of our charitable benefactors would donate in multiples of 18.

Why IS the number 18 considered so important??

Because the hebrew word for life is CHAI, spelled with the hebrew letters chet and yud. Chet is the 8th letter in the aleph-bais (the hebrew alphabet), and yud is the 10th. 10=8=18.

No more inferior bagels! International House of Blintzes!

We would know what goes into our hot dogs!

You do know what goes into your hot dogs.

Invest in whatever company makes those little hats…oh wait it’s privately owned damnit!

Instead of jail time, the punishment for most major crimes would be your mother coming over to make you feel guilty about what you’ve done.

And ask when you’re going to bring a nice Jewish girl home for a Shabbat dinner.