If the Straight Dope was to end, what would you want the last column to be on?
I think answering whether Cecil is real would be what i want, but something like “Who would win in a battle between Enterprise and a Star Destroyer?” would work as well…
A final and definitive resolution to the pigeon controversy.
“Cecil, how’s the world going to end after all?”
Cecil is, of course, correct.
I’d probably like to express thanks to the paper, Cecil, the mods and all the wonderful people here who have made me woefull aware of my ignorance and have provided the means to adress that shortcoming.
Either that or poopie.
How the just-concluded World Series between the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox had been one of the best ever. 
[ul]
[li] Definitive proof of the origin of the “Have a Nice Day” smiley[/li][li] Definitive proof of the origin of “The Whole Nine Yards”[/li][li] Cecil revealing that every poster on this board, other than me, are his socks.[/li][li] Definitive proof that the Moon landings were fake, ending with Cecil revealing himself to be Seethruart. :)[/li][/ul]
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I agree with elfkin. I want the meaning of life. Cecil knows, he just ain’t tellin’.
I’d want him to reveal he’s Ed. 
Evolution vs Creation vs Materialism vs Christianity
The Dope won’t end. Ed Zotti will just wake up in the shower one morning, and it’ll turn out that the board wars with the Left Behind site was just a dream…