If there is something as a foreigner living in the US has thought me, is that...

[TriPolar]

@Ulfreida

But maybe you might be one of those guys who feels like he is superior to other people and works at trying to rub it into their faces.
At least, so I would judge from what you just said, which is exactly all I have to go on, just like the people who only see you only have that to go on.

This part would be interesting if I understood what you meant. I don’t tell people I’m not what I appear, you’d have to drag it out of me and usually they find out from someone else. I just like to wear comfortable clothes and don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about my appearance. I guess that part might be an attitude of superiority, I do kind of enjoy it, but it’s mainly just indifference.

Clothes are social costumes designed to indicate a lot of information instantly, such as social class, subculture, education, occupation, gender, sexual availability, and many other things. Maybe you should dress like a slob but hand out informational brochures about yourself.

This is the part I consider a problem and am happy to on occasion redirect people’s thinking as a result of my appearance mismatching those signals. It’s easy to lie through appearance, wearing a good looking suit doesn’t indicate anything important about it’s occupant. I don’t care much about a person’s class, everyone has problems, everyone has to deal with life, I don’t tailor my treatment of people based on what they wear or whether I’m wearing my comfy clothes or decked out in a suit.

[Ulfreida]

@TriPolar

This part would be interesting if I understood what you meant. I don’t tell people I’m not what I appear, you’d have to drag it out of me and usually they find out from someone else. I just like to wear comfortable clothes and don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about my appearance. I guess that part might be an attitude of superiority, I do kind of enjoy it, but it’s mainly just indifference.

This is the part I consider a problem and am happy to on occasion redirect people’s thinking as a result of my appearance mismatching those signals. It’s easy to lie through appearance, wearing a good looking suit doesn’t indicate anything important about it’s occupant. I don’t care much about a person’s class, everyone has problems, everyone has to deal with life, I don’t tailor my treatment of people based on what they wear or whether I’m wearing my comfy clothes or decked out in a suit.

I thought very much like you once, but my excuse is that I was eighteen, and a self-righteous insecure snob who thought I knew how shallow other people were. What’s yours?

[TriPolar]

@Ulfreida

I thought very much like you once, but my excuse is that I was eighteen, and a self-righteous insecure snob who thought I knew how shallow other people were. What’s yours?

I don’t know what I need an excuse for. I wear clothes that are comfortable and I don’t judge others by the clothes they wear. Maybe the problem is I don’t realize what awful things I’m doing there.

[Martini_Enfield]

@TriPolar

I don’t know what I need an excuse for. I wear clothes that are comfortable and I don’t judge others by the clothes they wear. Maybe the problem is I don’t realize what awful things I’m doing there.

Coming at this with a slighly less combatant attitude, the idea that “How dare you not see the real me” is the problem here. Like I said, I like to dress comfortably too when I’m not dealing with clients.

However, rather than seeing the need to “educate” people about how actually I’m a respected professional, I just let them assume I’m a uni student who Generic Dude On His Laptop because it’s no skin off my nose and I am the one conforming to the Generic Dude On His Laptop At A Cafe stereotype.

If I’m going to be somewhere that I need people to think “Yes, Mr Enfield is the respected professional he is reputed to be” then it’s not hard to put on a collared shirt and some long pants and shave.

Doing so, as I said before, isn’t just about “society needs to learn appearances aren’t everything”, it’s about the meta of dressing appropriately - the message being “I am taking what I do seriously”

A Rick And Morty T-shirt with a picture of Rick on it and the words “It’s time to get riggity-riggity wrecked, son!” would absolutely be appropriate at a BBQ or the beach or hanging out at a friend’s house. It would be much less appropriate in the budget meeting for a traditional Fortune 500 company.