If there is something as a foreigner living in the US has thought me, is that...

Most people who judge us never have an opportunity to see how we act.

So señor, Español es mi primer idioma.

As far as I am aware, Beckdarek is a senora.

How does one get the tilde over the N?

No se que estas preguntando.

Clarificacion por favor?

Yes, L-7 , I am female. My language is primarily English, with a southern drawl.

Spoons needs to know how to get the wiggly thing over the n.

Oh ok, no sabia eso.
El Español se me esta empezando a olvidar un buen. Por eso me estoy tratando de regresar a escribir and ablar lo mas.

I’m pretty sure this is how it works literally everywhere on the planet, to some extent or another.

I sometimes see social media posts of the “I’m covered in tattoos and was dressed super casual with flip-flops and I hadn’t done my hair or shaved since Tuesday, and I went to buy a high-end home theatre system and the sales guy wouldn’t help me but jokes on him because I’m CEO of a successful business that employs a heap of people and I’m super rich and he just lost a big sale because of his attitude!” to which all their friends sycophantically fawn over them and post inspirational memes and shit like that.

The reality though, despite what the entitled “I do what I want!” brigade insist, is that external appearances are pretty much all most of us have to go off, and for the most part they’re usually near enough for the overwhelming majority of day-to-day interactions.

For example, when I’m just working at a table in a cafe somewhere on my laptop, I can dress pretty casually - amusing pop-culture T-shirt, boardshorts (if it’s really hot, which it has been lately) and maybe I won’t have bothered shaving that morning (or the one before it). There’s no reason for anyone to think I’m a skilled and experienced professional in my field, because I just look like some random dude on his laptop in a cafe. I’m not going to be offended if people think I’m a uni student or something, because they’ve got no way of knowing I’m actually preparing a brief for a major project.

But if I’ve got a client meeting, you can bet I’ll shave, wear a collared shirt and trousers, and generally look presentable, because that’s the image I want clients to have - of a skilled and experienced professional who is not only good with words, but also understands basic social elements like “Knows not to turn up to client meetings looking like he slept in a hedge after wrestling a particularly aggravated possum”.

Sure, the guy who looks like walking industrial recycling facility and smells like he lives in a dead whale might be the area’s leading Youth Outreach Co-ordinator with an Inspirational Made For TV Movie-ready backstory of tragedy and quiet community service… but we all know that statistically that’s not the case at all, and he really quite probably is simply the local weird homeless person.

They say “Don’t judge a book by its cover” but that phrase was coined back in the days when all books had leatherbound covers with not much more than the title and author’s name on them. We absolutely can and do judge books by their covers nowadays, which is why publishers invest so much in making sure books have engaging covers and blurbs which explain what they’re about and things like that.

Right, except it is especially bad here in the US. It is as if we have the most social identities and groups out of any country.

I don’t speak Spanish (or if I do, it is very little). Luciano, could you translate please?

I am not sure what you’re asking.
Clarification please?

Oh ok, I didn’t know that
I am starting to forget a lot of Spanish. That’s why I am trying to go back to speaking and writing more in English.
There ya go.

Thank you! Muchas gracias!

(See, I know a little Spanish. :slight_smile: But anything beyond hello and please and thank you and similar touristy stuff–nope. Seriously, thanks again.)

Hahaha I put “english” at the last spot.
But yeah you’re welcome.

Although we are an international board, we expect users to post primarily in English. So, while a non-English phrase can add a certain Je ne sais quois, and is not forbidden, please write in English.

Merci, todah raba, gracias, thank you.

The important point is that this guy didn’t just wake up this morning with tattoos and flip-flops and facial stubble. These are choices he made and an image he wanted to project of himself.

You don’t get to dress up like a rebel and collect all the positive opinions from the people who admire that look while telling the other people who don’t approve of that look that they aren’t entitled to a negative opinion.

The important point is that this guy didn’t just wake up this morning with tattoos and flip-flops and facial stubble. These are choices he made and an image he wanted to project of himself.

You don’t get to dress up like a rebel and collect all the positive opinions from the people who admire that look while telling the other people who don’t approve of that look that they aren’t entitled to a negative opinion.

I’m one of those guys often mistaken for someone on the low end of the economic scale because I like to wear comfortable clothes. I also do it because I kind of like the expressions people make when they find out I’m not a construction worker and that I actually make a quite good living using my mind. And when that happens, occasionally, they may even begin to learn that it shouldn’t matter if I’m a construction worker or software engineer either, that I and they and everyone else should be judged by our acts and not our appearances. And for those who don’t learn that much they’ll at least be slightly more aware that everything is not always as it appears.

It’s not about negative opinions but negative actions. Why should any of that matter when you walk in a store to buy something?

hm, I woulda thunk joie de vivre would have been a better fit, but my one year of jr. high school French was long ago.

For the OP, do you see what I did there? “woulda thunk” doesn’t sound very literate, but I used that slang/corruption of the phrase “would have thought” to show that even though I can read and write (mostly) correctly in basic English, sometimes I choose not to in order to show something else about myself. In this case, I wanted to show that I wasn’t very serious about either my comment or IvoryTowerDenizen’s.
If you don’t know anything about me, have never read any of my postings here or never had any sort of opportunity to observe or interact with me, what conclusion would you come to based only on that single string of words? That opinion can and will affect how you interact with me even if you don’t realize it. Even if it is your job to interact with me in a pleasant manner.

Mac or PC?

But maybe you might be one of those guys who feels like he is superior to other people and works at trying to rub it into their faces. At least, so I would judge from what you just said, which is exactly all I have to go on, just like the people who only see you only have that to go on. Clothes are social costumes designed to indicate a lot of information instantly, such as social class, subculture, education, occupation, gender, sexual availability, and many other things. Maybe you should dress like a slob but hand out informational brochures about yourself.