If TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD were just now being adapted to a movie today, how would they screw it up?

Cafe Society
#1

Imagine, if you will, that for whatever reason, no cinematic or television adaptation of Harper Lee’s great work had ever been made, or even greenlighted. Imagine further that someone has recently acquired the rights to the story of Atticus Finch; filming began, say, a month ago, and the movie’s scheduled for a December 2011 release. It’s a major, big-studio release, with name actors in every significant role.

Would you expect the movie to be fucked up? If yes, what do you expect would be done badly?

#2

They would cast Johnny Depp as Atticus.

#3

I think it’d be the CGI ninjas added to the night-time “sneaking up on Boo Radley’s house” sequence that would do it in.

And the fake-looking explosions when Atticus shoots the rabid dog.

#4

Angelina Jolie would play a reclusive but not scary neighbor (instead of Boo Radley), who Scout and Jem would scheme to fix up with their dad. It would work after Jolie’s character ends up saving the kids from Bob Ewell by pulling a gun on him, and Atticus would refer to her as the nightingale.

Boo Radley wouldn’t be in it because you still have to teach kids that weird people will molest them, and they aren’t to be trusted. :rolleyes:

Oh, and Atticus would win his case.

#5

The townfolk coming to kill Tom would be wielding walkie-talkies.

#6

Wow, that’s hard to beat. ETA: Mainly because it’s so damn plausible.

James Franco as Boo, maybe.

#7

Ding ding fucking ding.

Really, that’s all they would need to do to completely implode the story.

#8

Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see what what would be wrong with that.

#9

I’ve noticed that it has recently become fashionable to hate Johnny Depp. I don’t get it either.

#10

3D

#11

I’ll agree with this. Depp is a gifted actor (though I agree he seems wrong for Atticus).

Of course, if Deep were starring, Tim Burton might well be directing. And if Burton were directing, it’s certain that Helena Bonham Carter would be shoehorned in somehow. And in that case …

Well, I don’t like to think about it.

#12

Does it rhyme with “Annie Delfman”?

#13

Here, have a nice pie.

#14

Still diabetic. :frowning:

Pies are my enemy. I shall now go off and eat this delicious rice cake.

#15

They’d make Tom a Muslim.

#16

Scout would be a smokin’ hot teenager instead of a little girl.

#17

Scout would show her boobs and smoke dope, and Atticus would become the stereotypical “idiot dad”. Someone, possibly Boo Bradley, would be gay. And all the accents would be horribly done.

#18

I find Depp quirky and effeminate. Fine for Edward Scissorhands, wrong for Atticus.

#19

They’d probably animate it…with animals…who talk and it would have a sappy and/or feel goody song by Randy Newman sung by a mockingbird Atticus Finch titled, “Guilty of being right”

#20

Possibly played by Megan Fox.