If you are going to run a business in America, SPEAK ENGLISH.

The BBQ Pit
41

When I lived on Long Island a few years ago, the standard pronunciation for gyro was “JAI-ro.” It used to bug the hell out of me, until I realized that it was the regional pronunciation (I recall a Seinfeld episode in which Kramer was buying a gyro, and he pronounced it the same way).

Maybe the guy at the restaurant learned English from watching “Seinfeld.”*

*I’m not entirely joking here–you can learn about regional dialects and slang terms from watching popular TV. I’ve learned many Spanish soccer terms by watching matches on Univision (“Gooooolazoooooo! azo, azo, azooooo!”)

42

At the risk of irretrievable confusion, given that I’m now throwing Turkish into a roiling, bubbling mass of linguistic perplexity … what’s the difference between this and what we in the UK call a doner kebab?

43

The difference is that gyros are traditionally eaten while sober :slight_smile:

44

Subway here in San Diego is pretty bad too. The folks behind the counter understand menu items and nothing else, often not even modifiers like ‘a little’. “No cheese” will get you cheese as often as not. And only because I am familiar with the Subway script can I answer confidently questions such as “Moose arm, madness?”

[Answer: no mustard or mayonaise, thanks]

I actually don’t have too much problem dealing with this, but some customers do, and it can make for a tense moment or two when people get frustrated.

45

I am probably setting myself up here but: I deal with people who are Asian, with the accents, Brits and Americans as well as Australians.

The people I have most trouble understanding: Americans.

46

So, Wang, do you have a book coming out sometime soon? Because I will order on for everyone I know. You the bomb.

47

This is one of the reasons I quit smoking.

“I SAID MARLBORO, DAMMIT!!! MARLBORO. RED AND WHITE BOX!!! MARLBOROOOOOOOO…ARRRRGHH!!!”

48

Best. Story. Ever.

I laughed. I cried. I damn near soiled myself.


What's up with you people buying gyros from Chinese restaurants, or Chinese food from Mexicans? I really don't want to sound racist, but are you people high? I know you would want to use such "food" out of a desire to do good, but such "food" can only be used to serve evil ends.
49

I am reminded of a food court counter called Cajun Gourmet; all the ones I’ve seen have only been staffed by Asians. This would explain why their food is more like Chinese than Cajun. The dish they call Bourbon Chicken is eerily similar to the Oriental Grilled Chicken from Manchu Wok.

I’m also reminded of something I saw at Snopes. According to them, the following is fictional.

50

The one thing I’ve noticed is that if a fast food outlet has an ESL employee, he or she will always be the one they put on he drive-in window to take orders. The accents are bad enough, but filter them through a crappy sound system and you have a total mess. I always end up driving up to the window to hash it out in person.

People from other countries don’t have to learn English, but I don’t have to buy their products and services, either. Works for me.

51

Your allergy is your responsibility, as far as I’m concerned. Allergic to nuts? Ask the person at the counter if there are nuts in the dish you want. He doesn’t understand? Don’t eat there. Your responsibility to make sure you’re eating safely, not his.

Problem. That would interfere with the effective and safe performance of their job. Their job is solving your health problem. The guy at the counter in the Chinese place’s job is to serve you the food that you order. Don’t want to eat there? Don’t order (on preview, Evil Captor said that much more succintly).

I’m with you on the haircut thing, though. Why anyone would think it was appropriate to cut your hair when they were unable to communicate with you as to how it should look after is beyond me.

52

But White Lightning, isn’t it your responsibility to make sure your hair is cut the correct length?

:rolleyes:

53

One of the greatest moments of hilarity in my life of travel came in a restauraunt in London. It was late and we saw this little place by the hotel. A walk-in counter with a giant menu behind it. It served what appeared to be middle-eastern food. A young man, very nice, from Turkey was behind the counter. It went something like this.

My Husband: Hiya. I would like one of your, oh i’s sorry I can’t pronounce it, but it is that. (points at the menu)

Clerk: Ah, kolkash (swear to god, something like this- just like from the Simpsons)

MH: Ahh, yeah, Kolkash. One Kolkash please.

Clerk: Ok.

MH: What comes on that?

C: Huh?

MH: What comes on that?

C: (Nods, smiles and turns around.)

Hubby looks at me strangely.

MH: Ahhh. what’s on the kolkash?

C: Uh huh.

MH: shrugs, oh honey look, they have some interesting stuff on the menu. Excuse me, let me try can’t remember what exactly"

C: Smiles and nods… later, hands my husband the kolkash.

MH: What about the item A

C: Huh?

MH: item A, I would like an order of that.

C: Uh huh… just stands there

MH: Umm, that right there on the menu board, I would like one please.

C: Ahh, we don’t have that, we have kolkash.

Now mind you, there are like 80 menu items.

MH: Yeah, i have the kolkash, well, I guess I will try that, how about one item B

C: Ok… stands there

MH: Umm, can i have an order of that please?

C: No item B smiles

MH: Ok, ooh honey, look stuffed vine leaves. That sounds interesting. Excuse me, what are the vine leaves stuffed with.

C: Uh, huh…

MH: No, what are the vine leaves stuffed with?

C: looks confused- hubby points to menu

MH: What are the vine leaves stuffed with?

C: Yes, they are stuffed.

MH: yes with what?

C: AHHH, they are stuffed with, ahh, they are, they are… stuffed with pink (mind you he is deeply accented)

MH: Stuffed with pink?

C: Uh huh…

MH: well I’ll try some of them.

C: Huh?

MH: The vine leaves, one order of stuffed vine leaves.

C: No vine leaves, only Kolkash.

MH: you mean you have nothing but kolkash.

C: Only kolkash.

MH: What about french fries…

C: Oh yeah, french fries coming right up.

Starts to cook the fries. My hubby and I are dying now of laughter (inside suppressed laughter) but he is such a pleasant young man that we do not want to be rude, so we don’t say anything. During the cooking, he asks us where we are from.

C: You from New York City?

MH: Ahh, no were from Ohio.

C: new York City.

MH: No Ohio, it is one of the states, we live in a small town.

C: you English?

MH: No American.

C: Ahh you from New York?

MH: Ahh,. no were from Oh-, Yeah, we are from New York City.

C: AHHHHHHHHHHH, New York City, Do you know Akmed?

Akmed is apparently his cousin who lives in America. I was thinking, young man, New York City has over 7,000,000 people but we did not say anything about it. We just talked a little more, telling him politely that we did not know Akmed.

When we left the place, we died laughing all the way home. He was one of the nicest people we met and he was so genuine, but I could not believe the store had a giant menu and offered nothing but Kolkash. I got the impression he was just brought their to work recently and new little more than how to make Kolkash and french fries.

It was a delightful and hilarious experience.

But, we still wonder just what the “pink” was in those vine leaves.

54

That reminds me of the Wings episode where they went out to dinner and the waiter just kept repeating

We only serve crab…

55

Thanks a lot, Jeff Olsen.

A Cajun Gourmet just opened in a shopping center in north San Antonio, not far from where I live. Now I’m going to quietly go nuts until I finally get around to going and eating there, wondering if the place is staffed with Asians.

As soon as I quit laughing and get some fresh underwear, that is.

56

My brother-in-law (then just a newly arrived potential romantic interest for my sister) is from Western Australia, and at the time his accent was quite strong. During the first week here, he was applying for jobs and filling out lots of forms. My mom was home at the time and he asked her from something, she wasn’t sure what.

He needed it to fill out the forms, but she didn’t understand what he was saying. Sounded like “toothpick” to her, so she got him some toothpicks, not sure how this would help him with the forms. Russ stared at her blankly, clearly trying to figure out if everything he’d seen on TV about Americans was true. She looked at him as if he was from Mars, and wonder about the learning difficulties of her future grandchildren.

When my sister got home, Russ related the odd story to her and she burst out laughing. It took quite a while for her to calm down, but she then explained it to the rest of us. Russ needed Tipix, an Australian brand of White-Out, but could never quite get the concept across. Mom and Russ had a good laugh, and it pretty much broke the ice completely.

He’s a fine BIL, and my nieces are brilliant.

57

I was at Mike’s Diner in Manassas tonight when our very white and hometown-looking waitress didn’t understand our pronunciation of “year-owe.” We repeated it three times and then finally said “jai-rowe.” Maybe she should learn fucking English. Or learn American English. Or Greek. Or maybe she should just further her learning…

58

Gasp! Snopes is wrong. Well, sorta. It’s from a book called Dumbth written by Steve Allen. I believe an exact quote. It’s not fiction, although he did write some. (Or somebody did, using his name.)

(For some reason I was unable to quote back the quote. Unless it’s here under what I’m writing.)

(After preview: Nope.)

59

Yeah, but it’s a little harder to ascertain something like that beforehand. And there’s the question of etiquette (how to jump up in the middle of a haircut horrified at what has been done without offending, heh). At any rate, service is a little different than food, but in the end yes, it is your own responsibility to make sure you get what you want. I’m a little surprised that you would imply otherwise.

60

I gave my snarky response because it’s seems rather unreasonable that the entire burden of making sure you’re understood is on you in a customer/food service situation. It takes two to communicate.

For example: I’m lactose intolerant. Say I wanted to order a burritto with no cheese. I stress no cheese when I order and the order taker/waiter replies with “yes yes, no cheese” not understanding a word I’m saying. How am I supposed to know he didn’t understand? He said “yes yes no cheese.”

How is that situation my fault?

I’m not making this up, it’s happened many times.