Better than “Gil lifted Robin out of the car seat and chucked her in the ditch.”
Also from that link, in the “About the Author” section:
Hmmm. Might explain a few things?
Gil swiftly and with great haste absconded Robin from her secure perch in the automobile, that ubiquitous child of Gottlieb Daimler and Henry Ford, in a manner which bestowed upon her the energy required to leave his hands, in the manner of the cannonballs in Newton’s illustration of how ballistics and orbital mechanics are one and the same, in the way a brick does, and a bird doesn’t, unless it folds it’s wings in, or is dead, and in the fullness of time land on that piece of land beyond the shoulder of the road which one can never quite decide whether is part of the road or beyond it.
Reminds me of the screenplay advice from Rick&Morty’s purge planet.
I like, and agree with, what one commentator said on the Sci Fi & Scary article:
“By page three I was solidly rooting for the house.”
Gads, I’m reminded of a anecdote about some classical author who wrote the same way (can’t remember who). Some other author of the time wrote a short bit about being in a cab with him, and he stops to ask directions. After a similar verbose question, the other author says to the confused pedestrian, “he wants to know where the Inn is.”
Think it came up on this board somewhere in the last few months, if that rings any bells?
So, yeah, that’s basically what he did.
My poor, bleeding eyes.
re the contest " its still going they have a website https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/#!
their motto is "where www means "wretched writers welcome "
As a Friends of the Library volunteer, I know that one of the giveaways that a book is self-published is the presence of Papyrus font anywhere on or in the book.
Yup, it’s there, on that “Amulet” cover.
Hahahaha, thank you for that.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Only if you have this friend Chuck from college, see? Who was known for …
While this does sound suspicious, a halfway competent “astroturfer” on Amazon would use a private setting for their profile, so you couldn’t see all their reviews in one place.
What has indicated to you that we’re dealing with competence here?
At the intersection of Bulwer Avenue and Lytton Road, I’d guess, just a short hop from the Dunning-Kruger expressway.
Where’s that damn “like” button?!? 
Newspaper article (badly in need of editing) about the books:
Wow. You weren’t kidding–that is Primary School level writing.
Most of that article is quotes from Klein. Just based on the writing, I’m willing to bet that Klein provided the entire copy for the article.