If you could be on one episode of any TV show...

Any TV show, one episode. You’d get to play a fairly important part in the plotline. If a cartoon, you’d be drawn to look like yourself.

I’d choose an episode of the Simpsons, just for the cult value. There’d be throngs of geeks who knew every funny line I said.

Fairly important? Nah.

Talking shows that aren’t on anymore;

I’d be the Vampire who crawls out of the grave while Buffy is talking to Willow, but doesn’t notice them. Just as I stand up to full height and brush myself off, she stakes me.

Or the red shirt in an episode of DS9 who walks around the corner and gets phasered out of existence by the villain.

Or the fighter pilot who flashes by on Babylon 5 just before his ship is hit by enemy fire and destroyed.

I swear, this was supposed to be in Cafe Society in the first place!

The hamsters are getting devious, says I.

I’d be the dashing young guy who makes out with that good-looking gal on WKRP.

Y’know… the non-Loni-Anderson one.

I’d be the charming young stranger that comforts Spike…

Or if that’s too Mary-Sueish, I’ll settle for being one of Spike’s victims. Having James Marsters gnaw on my neck for a few minutes? I could deal with that.