If you could take one comic strip outta the paper forever...

Which one?

Family Circus by Bill Keane seems like a good example of needing to never been seen again by human eyes. The jokes, puns and general style seem to be stuck in the 60s like a time warp, forever using jokes that were probably corny even back then. Keane also has a penchant for recurring strips where he doesn’t even have to try to be funny(Grandpa’s dead and watching you, Billy and the line machine, Billy draws comics [“hapy fathersz day dad sinted billay”]) etc.

Second choice:

Garfield was funny. Funny for the first year, then it was pretty much a repeat of the same joke. To sum up every comic past '78:

“Garfield is fat and lazy and very very sarcastic and hates mondays, Jon is a complete dork who never gets a date, Odie is incredibly stupid, Nermal is a cute kitten who infuritaes Garfield, and the spiders/mouses are friends wth garfield.”

Actually, the above applys to pretty much every comic that’s pushing 20 years right now(like Cathy). Just read any Cathy or Garfield collection past the first one.

As an aside, I don’t quite understand the point of serial comics. It takes a freaking year to play out a large storyline in them. For smaller ones, reading thru old Dick Tracys they would have him have one panel to explain the last strip - even less room to do the story. It takes him several months just to track down the bad guy, and then it takes weeks for the battle to be fought, finished, and have the loose ends of the story wrapped up.

I totally agree. Family Circus NEEDS TO DIE!!!

I hate that comic with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. BURN IN HELL DEVIL BIRD!

You can’t get rid of the Family Circus, for that would take all the fun out of the Dysfunctional Family Circus.

DFC is no longer online, though. They still have the site and they still have the captions but no pictures for the captions. A shame.

Cathy gets my vote for instant, total and permanent oblivion. OK, we get it – she’s fat and insecure. And says “Ack” a lot.

B.C. gets pretty tiresome, especially around the holidays. And maybe this is comic-related blasphemy, I don’t know, but I keep expecting a naked emperor to slip into Peanuts one morning.

Marmaduke

Another nomination for Family Circus. And I’ve only seen it once or twice, since I don’t read the comics.

Andy Capp…I just don’t get the joke half the time, and even if I did I’m fairly sure it’s the same joke over and over.

And every freakin’ time she rants she has to throw a finger in the air!

The first thing I thought of was Family Circus. Ick. And then B.C. For a comic set thousands of years before the birth of Christ, it sure can get preachy.

Cathy, that is.

Yes! Garfield! Put the cat to sleep, Jim.

I don’t know if the strip is anywhere else, but there is a comic in the Syracuse Post Standard called Ice Cream Dream. It stars a kid that looks eeirely like the Starchild from 2001 at 5 saying cute things. Not bad, but it replaced 9 Chickweed Lane a funny strip (and the daughter is kinda hot, for a comic). After about two weeks, probably because of people like me moaning, Chickweed Lane was brought back, but the other one stayed. Still I’m a bit bitter.

Another strike against Cathy - Cathy Guisewhite, the artist, is not a good comic artist. It was especially apparent in the early years. In most comics the artist evolves his style, most comics looked terrible at the beggining but the artist got better and the main characters look like they do now. Or in the case of Bill Watterson’, the were already proficient at the art. Cathy still nearly the same way she did 20 years ago, and the way she looked then was CRAP.

Marmaduke all the way.

I get tired of comic strips that try to pretend that they’re making a real point, politically. Mallard Fillmore: “Liberals are bad.” Doonesbury: “Conservatives are bad.” BC: “Non-christians are bad.” Get Fuzzy: “Cats are bad.”

Well, okay, I like Get Fuzzy…

Fred Bassett.

This comic has never been funny. Not once. I would pay good money for evidence of a Fred Bassett strip that contained any discernable attempt at humor.

Here’s how your typical Fred Bassett goes:

FIRST FRAME
Unnammed British Guy: Who wants crumpets?

SECOND FRAME
Fred Bassett: I do!

THIRD FRAME
Fred Bassett: I love crumpets!

Who is this guy in bed with to still be getting publication?

One called Six Chicks.
Basically some feminist crap. All about the horrors of shoe shopping and how men are stupid. I fell dumber for just glancing at it.

Brenda Starr.

Do I even have to explain that? Terrible, terrible not funny not even interesting. GAH!

The most offensively racist strip in the English-speaking world, Wee Pals.