If you created a sock on SDMB, what would it do?

How u doin?

Mine would put me on his/her Ignore List.

I’d probably put my foot in it.

I expect it would eventually fall down in the space between the washer and dryer, like the others.

It would get bant double-quick as it would pretty much mirror my Snackpit contributions word for word.

You’re supposed to get medical attention if it lasts longer than four hours!

I would probably just create a new, realistic person and be that person as a character of sorts.

Probably a female who has a boyfriend problem? maybe? I needs advice, and then comments on knitting threads or something that I normally don’t and just be another character for a while

Do nothing bad, say nothing super offensive (unless it was in character) and just be someone else for a while and make a game out of it

Just to take the piss out of some really annoying guts here. Instead, I judiciously employ the ignore feature.

ETA: Which makes some threads terrible difficult to read, but it saves my blood pressure from exploding.

Smell up the place?

Really, cuz I saw right through you when you said that in your thread about…you know. :stuck_out_tongue:

I would post in precisely the same way, except with the text run through a filter that adds spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, erroneous punctuation, random profanity, vulgar font and color choices, and veiled insults.

Like gizoogle .net/textilizer.php? (broken because it’s not exactly work-safe)

My sock would religiously avoid controversial topics and only make high-quality posts. Over time, it’d become a trusted member of the community until it got promoted to Moderator status. I don’t know what I’d do next.

Absorb my semen?

E-semen?

Virtual semen?

Not much. I mean, what can you do with only one sock?

I was hoping someone would say “Are you sure you aren’t already doing that?”

But yes, something like that… but a bit more subtle. A while back I wrote a “tech support email generator” that had modes for profanity, ALL-CAPS, lysdexic, and a few others. It generated endless varieties of incomprehensible and unsolvable support requests. I was all set to sic it on a hated competitor, but reason got the better of me…

I’d probably be one of those IMHO OPs who post weirdly personal stories the day they join. I’d spend weeks concocting the most bizarre-yet-believable sob story I could imagine (I just found out my wife has been having sex with our 4 pet rabbits the past 20 years!), then update frequently.

Eventually my sock would break down and admit it was all a ruse in a very dramatic, public way, substituting a different fake story for the prior one. Wash, rinse, repeat, until banned.

With or without air conditioning?

(I’d say stuff like the above.)

Best troll plan ever.

I’d get more amusement out of just treating it like a perfectly normal account, and watching how the reactions would be as different as they are everywhere else where I post the same way I do here. Oh, how much history informs how people even comprehend what your posts mean.

For example, I crack jokes all the time, but people still think I’m humorless. OR I say something sensible and people take the stupidest possible interpretation of it, since BigT is stupid.

I think I’d use it to post personal questions. “Now that I’m 40, why does my pee invariably spray in at least two wildly divergent streams?”, that sort of thing.