You think you’re happy, this is the first time anyone’s ever yelled at me for something I posted. Thanks, Giraffe, now I feel like I truly belong 
I don’t care that this is a parody thread and I don’t care that, yes, I actually get the parody.
What I do care about is the fact I NEED TO HAVE SOME FUCKIN’ PEROGI THIS SECOND!
[sub]waiting until Christmas approaches, and get to go help make hundreds and hundreds of perogi with her gramma…mmmm[/sub]
[Bessie Smith voice] “If you don’ like mah peaches, why do you shake mah tree?” [/Bessie Smith voice]
ARRGH!! dammit. The perogy craving has begun. Over a year and a half with out those beautiful little potato filled bits of love!
sniff
Well Shit.
Now I have to make perogys for dinner…
With sour cream…
And green onions…
When my computer shorts out from drool on the keyboard, I’m blaming you Max
I finally make a beautiful woman drool…and it’s over my pirogies. Oh, well, I’ll take what I can get.
Wow … a parody of my post. Should I be proud or something?
That’s your pierogative.
An appetizer:
Baked Perogi (Sweet Dough Recipe)
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar + 2 tsp. sugar
2 tsp. salt
¾ cups cold water
¼ cups soft butter
½ cup lukewarm water
2 packets dry yeast
2 eggs, well beaten and 1 egg lightly beaten
7 cups all-purpose flour
Perogi Filling
½ pound bacon
2 finely chopped onions
Fresh black pepper
Cook bacon over medium heat until cooked but not crisp. Add onion and sauté until soft and cooked add pepper to taste and let cool draining excess fat.
Have everything at room temperature. Scald milk and stir in ½ cup of sugar, salt, cold water, and soft shortening. Cool to lukewarm. In the cup with the lukewarm water, stir in the 2-tsp. of sugar and the dry yeast. Let stand for 10 minutes then stir again until well blended. Pour into a large warmed bowl. Stir in milk mixture, well-beaten eggs and 3½ cups flour. Beat until smooth and elastic. Work in additional flour to make soft dough. As the dough thickens, mix by hand in a circular motion. Turn out dough onto a lightly greased surface. Knead until smooth and elastic (about 5 min.). Place in lightly greased warmed bowl. Lightly grease top of dough and cover with greased wax paper and a clean cloth. Let rise until double in volume (about an hour and a half.)
Turn onto lightly greased surface. Punch down dough. Cut in half with a greased knife, ball up each half, cover and let stand for 15 min. One half at a time, roll out onto lightly greased surface, cut out circles, stretch, add filling and seal into crescents. Save leftovers for clover leaf Rolls below. Make sure the edges are securely sealed. Place on a greased cookie sheet, cover with greased wax paper and a clean cloth. Let rise again until they double in volume (about an hour and a half.) Bake at 375 degrees approx. 20 minutes. Remove to cool on a rack. Brush with lightly beaten egg while cooling.
For half-baked perogis bake for 10 minutes instead of 20.
The very idea that any of you are putting ANYTHING but fried cabbage and onions in a perogi is a slap in the face to the Poles on this board who slaved at the side of their grandma to learn the fine art of pierogi making from scratch.
My perogis kick ASS and they’re made CORRECTLY. And if I’m lyin’, my grandma’s last name ain’t Wdowviak
Jar
I tried to make some but I must of messed up. Mine came out as a parody of perogis and tasted like Parrot-ease. I think I’ll leave them to the SDMB perogis experts.
Sandra Bullock has great perogies too. Don’t you think?
What are you implying?!?! Fucking asshole!! You suck.
[sub]Just trying to make you happy…[/sub]
Brag all you want but I dont’ see a recipe from you. So either put up or shut up.
My mom knows how to make 'em, but I’ve yet to see any…
The sad truth here is that Max only gets frozen perogis. He couldn’t make them to save his life.
Chicken Cordon Bleu, on the other hand…
Homebrew,
If you think for a second I would give out ANY of my recipes for secret family items that I CAN SELL to people, you’ve got another thing coming.
That’s like asking for my Lemon Bars or Artichoke Dip. You’re being silly.
**True story - **
A guy settled in at a restaurant and the waiter shuffles over to tell him the special - and proceeds to describe the most wonderfully delicious three cheese ravioli with tarragon sauce. Yes, says the salivating customer. After a few bites, the customer realizes that there is something wrong with his dish. Upon complaint, the waiter says “If you don’t like my perogies, then don’t eat them.” The customer replies that he never even thought he was getting perogie in the first place, he was told he was getting wonderfully delicious three cheese ravioli with tarragon sauce. The waiter retorts, “A select few of my customers know that when I describe a special, they will sometimes get perogie instead. It is for them that I make my perogies, and they find them delicious although even people who enjoy a good perogie don’t usually care for the way I prepare them. If you thought you were getting what I had originally described, or you didn’t find what you actually got tasty, too bad for you. Here is your bill.” Snickers from the regulars ensue, as this recurring event always amuses them (and me).
Really, true story.
Interestingly, Libertarian has a thread going:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=145598
It’s called
“If you don’t like my parodies, don’t read them”
Most amusing.
Why does my link not work?
Crapenstein!!!