Over and over and over you hear people whine and complain about the state they live in, usually because it’s not the state they are originally from. My advice would be don’t move to a state if you don’t like it. If all you gonna do when you get there is whine and moan about how “backwards” it is…DON’T GO. It doesn’t matter if you are moving to get a job that pays more money, or your SO is relocating because of his job. Greed on your part does not constitute making everyone you come in contact with miserable. It’s not fair to the people who live in that state and love that state to have to put up with your endless whining and moaning because we aren’t high class enough for your tastes. To those people who just hate where they live period (born there) then move out as soon as you get the chance. Believe me we don’t want you here any more than you want to be here. Life is too short not to be happy.
An example. The State of North Carolina recently had a snow storm of 18 to 26 inches of snow. The airport closed for a couple of days. A lady from California was on her mobile to the local TV station raising the roof because after she landed at the airport she rented a car and then got stuck on one of the major interstates because the tractor trailer vehicles couldn’t move up the slopes. She was stranded there overnight. So why the heck didn’t she do what the airport officials told her to do to begin with…just get a room and wait a couple of days. Then she has the audacity to slam our state government because we couldn’t get her off the highway. Don’t come back to NC and you won’t have to worry about our state government.
Long post…but I’m done.
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *
I am surrounded by people who hate this “backward, redneck town” (Calgary, Alberta) I confess that I, too, once bashed it. Lately, I’ve mellowed considerably. Sure, getting “dressed up” in this city often means wearing your EXPENSIVE sweatpants, and a meal that doesn’t consist of red meat and alcohol is regarded disdainfully as rabbit food. But hey, I can actually afford a relatively swell home that would be totally out of my reach in a more expensive city.
I have heard many people complain that living here is stiffling their creativity, that a bigger city would give them more opportunities. Fine, you are free to leave, you know. I have come to the conclusion in recent years that if you are brilliant and gifted, you will be just as brilliant in New York City as you would in Calgary or Paris or Biggar, Saskatchewan, for that matter. Stop using living here as an excuse!
Besides, we can see those gorgeous Rockies evey day, for free! And don’t get me started on the wonderful Chinooks that come in when it is thirty-five below!
Ahhh, a subject near and dear to my heart! I’m in Nebraska (Omaha area) and I love this place. A lot of people say that there are no opportunities (I also notice they never say for what) and nothing to do here. I used to be sort of embarrassed to admit to my East-coast friends how much I liked it here, but no more.
I love the low number of people, wide open spaces, low cost of living, and the friendliness of the average human. (And cheap steaks don’t hurt either.)
I know the weather here sucks for most of the year. It’s all a part of the “Keep Nebraska for Nebraskans Committee”'s secret plan to keep this great state from being invaded by Californians.
Prairie Rose
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
Prairie Rose – as an Iowan, I love Nebraska. Iowans joke about it as “miles and miles of miles and miles”, or something like that. They just don’t appreciate the subtlety. It’s just something they sleep through on the drive to Reno or Denver.
Well heck, I love Iowa too. But that doesn’t mean I don’t bitch about it once in awhile.
What really ticks me off is the Iowa media – they try to find an Iowa “connection” whenever possible, like they’re ashamed that nothing ever happens here. (Hey! That can be a good thing.)
If there’s a plane crash (no matter where), they’ll find an Iowan with a distant relative who just narrowly missed being on the plane.
The latest blockbuster movie? They’ll interview an Iowan who stood in line for tickets.
Now they’re jumping on the Rams’ bandwagon – Des Moines is declaring a Curt Warner day. Hey, he belongs to St. Louis – not Iowa!
California does NOT do that. Although sometimes the local news likes to find the “Bay Area connection,” which is probably pretty equivalent, since my guess is that there are more people in the Bay Area than in all of Iowa.
I like to bash CA, and I have every intention of moving, as soon as I graduate college and save some money for grad school. The thought of remaining here makes me almost physically ill. It’s not really all that bad, but I want to go elsewhere. Anywhere else. Although I am nervous about snow.
~Harborina
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
I am GUILTY. GUILTY as charged! I am a Californian who recently moved to the Midwest, and bashing the Midwest.
Let me give you my perspective:
I have been guilty of bitching too much to the wrong people in the past, but I think I am mellowing out. So, I don’t think I am currently “making everyone miserable” with my bitching. Besides, I often use humor when I bitch, and make fun of myself and my crackpot California ways.
I moved mostly for family reasons - family obligations. Too hard to explain here (and no one’s business, really) but it was not primarily based on greed. I am not the first person, nor I will be the last, to move somewhere I’m not crazy about out of obligation. And believe me, I’d be happy to move back home immediately if I did not have this obligation.
This is how I see the unnamed Midwestern state I live in: It’s not home. That’s it’s main transgression. When the natives here ask me how I like it here (and they always do) I just say “It’s OK, it has things I like, but I’m still homesick.” I usually elaborate that I have “culture clash”. I’m not slamming where I am, it’s fine for what it is, and I don’t think the locals are crazy for liking it. (It’s their “home” after all, just like CA is mine.) But I don’t see myself ever “blending in” and liking it here in the Midwest, the way the locals do.
I think I present myself as the Crazy Californian who is reasonably affable, but is just cut from a different cloth. I will usually try to “play up” the things I like in the Midwest (friendly people, pretty green rolling hills) and not always rant about the things I don’t like. I won’t say I never bitch, but I usually do that with other non-natives, or with the old friends back in CA. I understand that it can get tiresome to hear constant bitching.
One thing that I do a lot of, however, is mention things I did back home. I’ll mention Disneyland, or Yosemite, and how fun it is, and how I look forward to going back. (I fly back to CA every chance I get.) That may be a bore to some (though I try not to go overboard, though I’m sure I do.) However, since I’ve lived in CA almost all my life, what else do I have to talk about but what I’ve experienced in my life? This pisses some people off. I find that some of the people here are very defensive. They do not want to hear about anywhere else being interesting, bigger, extraordinary, than what their state has to offer. So just hearing me talk about the nifty things I’ve seen and done in California is enough to annoy and offend them. Now, I think that is their problem. I am from where I am from, and I have seen what I have seen. God Forbid I talk about it. If they can talk about their latest outing fishing, I can talk about Yosemite, right?
Another thing that I find weird is that people think they have to “compete” with other places. Why? Your state is what it is. Every state has wonderful things about it, and has things that suck about it. For instance, to quote the Prarie Rose:
See? That is a realistic and reasonable reason to like Nebraska. Nebraska sounds really nice, for people who like those things. For people who like other things, Nebraska may not be Heaven on Earth. It doesn’t make Nebraska a horrible place, though. However, if a defensive Nebraska native (and I have no idea what Nebraska natives are, so this is just a “what if”) were to get pissed and defensive because someone like me still missed Mountains, or the beach, I would wonder why. Nothing wrong with liking mountains and the beach.
Yet I have gotten that kind of attitude from some (not all) of the people here. Like “You live here now, you’d better like it better than anywhere else!” And that ain’t going to happen with me. I can also tell that some locals expect me to say how much I hate CA, how glad I am I moved, how the Midwest is so much better. Well, that ain’t going to happen either.
Another thing that annoys the locals is that I refuse to “fit in”. The locals love sports. I could care less, and in fact find the level of sports obsession here alarming. The locals drink lots of beer. I don’t drink at all. I am a vegetarian, and this is a BIG meat-eating town. None of these things are going to change about me, yet these little details alone has bothered a few people. Also, I think one of the things that really angered some people was when they found out I don’t read the local paper or watch the local news. I just can’t stand it. I tried, I really tried to read the paper and watch the news, but it was too different from what I was used to - too much emphasis on sports and meat. I couldn’t take it any more, all it did was make me bitch about where I am all the more, so I quit watching and reading the local media. I am much happier now, not knowing what is going on (according to the local news and paper.) I now have a satellite dish, get news from all over, and I read the LA Times off the internet. SO much happier. But this also pisses people off.
My philosophy is this: If I can function in life, pay my taxes, arrive to work on time, and not publicly bitch and be too negative about where I am currently living, I figure I’m doing pretty well. If I talk about Disneyland too much for the locals, well, they talk about football too much for me. If I don’t “fit in” according to the locals, well, that’s really no one’s business, is it? I moved here out of family obligation, not to “fit in”.
I don’t think I am obligated to “embrace” the place I am currently transplanted in, yet I get the impression that some people expect that of me. Perhaps it is because I am from LA, where there are many people who definitely have not “embraced” American (or Californian) culture, and no one cares.
Yosimitebabe, if Iowa is the unnamed state that you’re living in, PLEASE come hang out with me. Much as I love DesMoines, I don’t really “fit in” either.
“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”
Chris, I’ll have to check my map and see how far away Des Moines is. I don’t think it is too far! (“Too far” is a relative concept for me - I have been known to drive 5 hours one way to spend a few hours in a place. I once drove about 10 hours round trip in order to buy some pottery clay that I could not buy locally.)
Anyway, glad to know that you don’t “fit in” either. I think my problem is that I spend too much time with people who do “fit in”!
There are 50 states, and as has been stated each place has great things about it…and also those things that aren’t so great. Sure in the summer I whine about the humidity and heat in North Carolina. I don’t think anyone has lived anywhere and been completely happy. I’m talking about these people who every time they open their mouths they have negative comments. What I hear most about the southern states is how “backwards” we are and what a bunch of rednecks we are…etc. So what? You think just because we live here we don’t see those things? We don’t need somebody else reminding us of it every day of our lives. I enjoy hearing someone describe the places they have been and where they have lived. But I don’t want to here all negative. If you do have to live somewhere other than the state you were born…then focus on the positive, at least when you are in the presence of people that love that place. Believe me if I’m talking with someone and they start talking about how backwards we are…I ask them why they don’t move.
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *
Fuzzy, you sound a reasonable person, not one of these defensive “My state is better than anywhere else” people.
I have been pretty good about not trashing the state I live in when asked. I just don’t do cartwheels and say how it’s the best place I’ve ever been to. There was one lady (who had lived in this one town all her life, and didn’t travel a lot) who asked me how I liked her town. I said it was OK, but not “home”. I added, “I’ll bet if you moved to LA you wouldn’t like it very much, it would be too different from what you are used to.” She laughed and agreed - I think she got my point, and wasn’t offended. However, some people are bugged that I don’t think it’s the best place ever. And I think that is their problem, especially after I take the time to explain my homesickness, etc.
I do bitch a lot about where I am, but usually to CA friends, or even on this message board. But I take pains to not name the city or state when I bitch about it here, so I feel a little more free to bet the bitching out of my system that way.
Occasionally people see me wear my Yosemite/California T-shirts (I’ve always had a t-shirt collection) and wonder “When will you get over that.” (i.e. My California connection.) My answer is “never”. I feel no obligation too “blend in” to my midwest surroundings.
Orangecakes – do you dislike Ohio all the time, or is winter getting you down? I’ve only been to Dublin, and flew to get there, so I have no idea what Ohio is really like. I picture it as something like Iowa, but with a bit of the south.
Can’t help but think that someone who says they want to be anywhere but where they are has issues that moving won’t fix.
Oh, it IS definitely the winter, which is so different every day! Also, its a cruddy town really. I’ve been here for 41 years. Only visited NY,Pa, Fla.,Indiana.
I want a state I can be proud of. Lets here some Ohioans tell me what they’re proud of!
From Iowa here myself, but in a place as to where we get lumped in with Illinois all the time. Yes, the great Quad Cities!
I love where we are at, but in all truth there isn’t much around here for big stuff to do. The river casinos that were supposed to take us to a higher place, bring people in for a while, and then there is nothing else to see around here.
As a server in one of the busier resturants I met a lot of people from all over the country who are passing through or visiting, and I usually ask them “You came here for vacation? Why?”
All in jest I assure you because like I said I am content here, I just can’t figure out what the big draw for someone to vacation here is.
What’s the matter with the weather in NC? I want to go to UNC for grad school. Is there something I should know? I know it snowed there this winter, but that’s kinda unusual, right?
~Harborina
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
I hear people say that there is nothing to do in the Midwestern state I moved to, and it is true, and untrue.
True, it doesn’t have the big stores, big galleries, big theatres that LA has. It doesn’t mountains, or Disneyland, or the ocean, or all the other scenic wonders. But, it has some nice shopping areas, some pretty scenery (if you know where to look) and nice local plays and other events. Not “top notch”, but not nothing, and really, perfectly respectable. I’ll admit, I’m spoiled, so I don’t go out to these local events much - I save my money for my next excursion back home. But I’ll never deny that they are there.
Which makes me all the more amazed that so many local people don’t avail themselves of them. They watch too much TV, and think and talk about football too much. And then have the audacity to criticize those of us who do go out and about more.
I think part of my problem is that I am hanging out with the wrong sort of person. I have worked with too many “salt of the earth” types. Nothing wrong with “salt of the earth”, but these certain types of people tend to be less adventurous in traveling. They have not been exposed to the different eclectic things I have seen in LA, or known the weird people I’ve met, etc. (I am a weird person myself, too!) It’s just a whole different culture. And some of these people can be really defensive about that. They don’t want to hear about the fact that there is a whole world out there. I figure they need to deal with it…they have cable TV, they must know that there is more in the world than what their town has to offer, right?
I have met many locals that also love to travel, and/or have interesting hobbies, and they tend to be less annoyed by me and my California ways. They don’t seem peeved that I won’t “fit in”. So, I think my answer is to hang out with other people who don’t “fit in”. (Like ChrisCTP, up in Des Moines!)
How can “any” state be better than Ohio but not NC because of the weather. If you consider the weather in Ohio to be preferable to the weather in NC, you have indeed lived in Ohio too long. I lived in eight different states during my travelling days. One of those states was Ohio and I agree, if there was ever a state that needs to be gotten out of, that’s the one. My personal favorite state is Florida, with South Dakota being a close second. Least favorite was Ohio or Arizona, depending on my mood at the moment.
I’m a native of L.A. County, currently living in L.A. I’ve also lived in San Diego and Lancaster.
I hate California. I’m moving to the Seattle area the first chance I get. I like rain. Soft rain, hard rain, driving rain, misting rain, sideways rain… Besides, all of my friends are up there and it’s also a lot closer to Vancouver, B.C. (a truly grat city!) than L.A. is.
Johnny - be careful when moving to Seattle! They HATE Californians up there! I have a friend who is a Seattlite, and his contempt is unveiled. Also, another friend just moved there, and has had trouble finding work because (as he perceives it) a marked prejudice against Californians. (He works in radio, by the way.) Also, when you moved, make sure that you change your CA plates RIGHT AWAY. You will want to “pass” as a local as soon as possible.