I try really hard to fit in here, but I just fucking hate this place so much. I live in a redneck town. Everyone here is married to a rigger or an engineer so as a teacher I feel piss poor all the time. I have tried very hard to fit into the small arts community here as well, but it is so small and no one supports it so nothing exciting happens.
I came out here for a job two years ago and I have committed myself for one more year (which will be my last). I have only done so for financial reasons. But jesus I feel like I’m wasting my youth in this town. It seems to be wearing be down pyschologically. Sometimes I think I’m the problem…like if I just sold out what I enjoy doing with my life I could maybe fit in. But I don’t want to do that, I want to be who I am.
At least summer is here so I can retreat to my hometown for two months. Next year is going to be HELL! But at least I’m working towards either teaching in my hometown, teaching overseas, or going for my masters in music. The money will give me options. I can’t wait to resign next year.
This has been the hardest year of my life, I feel like a social outcast, and I have felt incredibly alone. I sincerely hope next year will be better.
And I hope my choice to come out here hasn’t been in vain.
Seconded. I grew up in those sorts of towns. I joined the army after college partly to get the fuck away from it, and to this day I cannot grasp the reasoning of my parents who decided to move there in the first place. I don’t really like Boston anymore either, but Boston is Shangri-fucking-La compared to those towns.
Oh, and you didn’t ask for advice, but I’m giving it to you anyway. Go teach overseas. After your little internship in Hell, you deserve a break from the ordinary, and it’s not like anywhere you’re likely to wind up could be that much worse, is it?
No kidding guys…you’re both right, I know i should go I wanted to leave this year. I chickened out, but I;m going to make the most of next year to ensure I get a good job next year in a city I want to be in…or go for my masters. I don’t want to duck out of my contract and burn bridges, so I’ve decided to stay one more year and at least be in a good financial spot next year.
At least this little experience has taught me to value every moment in life.
The trick is to remember that everytime you feel pissed off. Get a new hobby. Write a novel, whatever. A year isn’t that long, unless you are counting the seconds.
Sounds like you’ve moved to the little shitbucket I grew up in. The good thing about that sort of place: when it’s over, freedom tastes incredibly sweet.
I’ve lived in Calgary for 28 years now. I don’t have a whole lot of friends there and really haven’t met anyone new for years now. Although, I don’t really hate it.
I’ve wanted to move to Hong Kong since I went there for the first time in 2002 and the last time I was there for 5 weeks last January. I love the place and can’t help but meet people all the time.
The place I live feels like I’m just visiting and the place I visit occasionally feels like home even though I don’t live there. Weird.
I know from whence you speak. The economics of your situation and the future of your career should be foremost, but your sanity is a close second. How hard have you looked for alternate employment for next year? What about moving to a better place for slightly less money and making up the difference with a part time job? If you can get as good a deal or better elsewhere, then why give a shit about burning bridges with a small number of small town people who you will almost certainly never see again, because they will almost certainly never work outside of their crappy little region? Screw them. If they really need you that badly, they can pay you enough that you wouldn’t care that you are in hell. If they are as provincial and have as little in common with you as you say, they probably don’t want you in their town to begin with. Assuming you don’t have a contract, of course. Even if you do, what penalty is there for not continuing your employment? Would they really go through the trouble and expense of suing you for breach of contract? Graduate school is a great place to hide out during a bad economy, especially since you can still have a net positive income from loans, paid research/teaching, and part time jobs, while you are getting the paper for a better job. Of course, I imagine the demand for teachers never goes away. I’m rambling, sorry. My point is: the only reasons to live soemwhere shitty is are pay or career advancement that you cannot get elsewhere. It just burns me up to see people stuck for any other reason.
I came from a pretty big city I lived in a great neighborhood. I knew and liked most of my neighbors. Our new neighbors do not speak to us.
Now we live in a backwater. There is almost no good food, we have almost no friends outside of work, my main hobby is worthless here, there are no good radio stations or movies theaters. This place is boring me to death.
The locals are for the most part, insular, poorly uneducated bunch whose life revolves around church. Even the fucking air and water in this pit stinks. We came here because of my wife’s job, which is hard as hell. Unfortunately we probably have 4 more years of this shit.
And for anyone who thinks he’s kidding, he’s not. Drive over the provincial line and it’s like a totally different city.
I know gas ain’t cheap, but any chance of driving to Edmonton or Calgary for a weekend trip or something every month or two? Just getting away for that long could help.
The big problem is that Lloyd is so tiny. But yeah, everyone that moves there basically lives for the day they can leave. My brother lasted about the same length of time. This is odd, since he loves living in PA.
To me, Hell is cloudy, cold, rainy and snowy-I grew up in Santa Barbara and moved to Oregon over five years ago. Still haven’t adjusted. Some mornings it’s all I can do to take offramp to work and not just keep driving south towards heaven.
I feel the same about Seattle. I’ve never felt any affinity for South Australia and I’ve lived here all my life - but from Day 1 in Seattle (which couldn’t be any more different) I felt like I’d come home. I only had five weeks there and it broke my heart to have to leave. (Seriously, I mourned that place like I’d lost a loved one.)
At least the experience gave me new incentive to upgrade my skills so that I can hopefully move in the next five years and not have to fight too hard for a job at the other end.
Seattle, sadly, can never be my home (except in my heart…/wistful sigh) but New Zealand’ll fulfil my dreams of a cooler, wetter, calmer climate. And with the amount of New Zealanders hopping across to Australia in search of higher wages, finding a job hopefully won’t suck. I’m prepared to take a significant hit in wages just so I can live in an environment that isn’t dry, dead and dusty, and doesn’t make me depressed every time I look at it.
Exactly. I was ready to leave my wife to move to Hong Kong. But we fixed things up, though (she would move there with me, but her MS wouldn’t allow her to live there). I still feel like I’ve lost something forever. Its like I’ve taken the safe path on the road of life and I’ll never become what I could of been because of it. It very much sucks.
It always happens that when you try to slag a whole group of people you end up looking like you’re a member!
There’s so many problems with me and where I live I don’t even want to go into half of them. Just review my other posts because I’ve been bitching about it all year. I’m trying not to go into another depressive funk like I’ve been in many times this year. But it has been a rough week.
I’m an extroverted introvert. I like to do extroverted things but i can be very shy and closed to other people until I feel safe around them. Since few people here share my interests, I have had a very hard time making new friends since I’ve moved here. I have been so lonely ever since I came here it’s catching up with me. At least now it’s summer so I can move back to Saskatoon (I love home). I keep thinking that I don’t know how I will survive another year here, but I’m going to try to do some different activities (like soccer or swimming) next year, and hopefully become a bit more social. Since I’ve been trying desparately to save money I haven’t travelled much. I’ve made some poor choices financially over the last couple years and I’m trying to remedy that as well. I would love to go into edmonton or Saskatoon more often, but I’m pretty much at the mercy of the few friends I have out here, because I do not want to go alone.
And yes I am looking looking looking for new employment. It’s either teaching elsewhere (not in a small town), teaching overseas, or going for my masters in music.
I swear doing music and teaching has been harder then I ever imagined it to be. If I didn’t love music so much, I’d try something else, but it keeps pulling me back.
You make a lot of good points. Let’s just say when I first came here, I was seriously unconfident thinking I would fail as a teacher and have to switch careers. Now that I’ve finished my second year, I’ve learned the opposite is true. My kids have done really well, and I have come a long way.
I didn’t leave before this year because I graduated university lacking a skill set required for teaching. I didn’t have a concept of an orchestral or symphonic band. I have used these last two years to build a base that my university education (or myself, I’m not too sure which) failed me in. And with my emotional problems this year I didn’t know how well I would adjust to moving again.
To sum up my first year was good: I came and conquered
This year has been nice for refining skills, but the social problems really caught up with me
Next year worries me because it will be hard to grow professionally, and the social problems will linger.
I’ve decided to stay because I want the $$$ and I want the time to set up a good job for the year after. It’s the play it safe choice. It’s all I know to do right now.
