And dammit, I’m proud of Saskatchewan. Even if Lloyd Saskatchewan is total dive, I always wished I had saskatchewan plates on my car!
And Since you are familiar with Lloyd here is what I hate; I hate the trucks, I hate the oil, and I hate the lifestyle. Only here have I seen fake testicles attached to trailer hitches. What the fuck is that about?
Oh no; we have those “balls” in LA even. That frame of mind is not geographically limited, sadly.
I wish I knew. I’ve seen it once in Calgary and can only imagine the mindset (or lack of same) of someone that would put something like that on their truck. Who ever it was was driving like the dick they seemed to want to emulate.
Here in east suburban Cleveland, Ohio, USA, I’ve met a diverse group of people by joining the curling club that’s just a few blocks away from my house.
Prairies = curling a’plenty. Every small town there has one, if not more curling clubs. It sounds lame at first, but it’s a good way to find a circle of friends fast. Whatcha’ think?
Does that mean they are well educated? 
I extend my deepest condolences to the OP.
I’m not into curling alas…
But as of today, it is officially summer. Which means I can put these problems aside for awhile…because I am moving home for 8 weeks! WOOHOO!
Quasi, when you come back, please consider making an effort to get to know some of these guys on their own level. There is more to friendship that intellectual stimulation. I posted this earlier this week.
Have a great vacation! I’m thrilled that you like teaching and are good at it!
I grew up in a little town. The point of little towns is to live the hermit’s life. Social activities are something you do when you get old and decide to pick up bingo and square dancing. Until then you drive around in your pickup and go to work at your grunt-work job, while at home you actually spend most of your time studying history and math, making furniture, and improving yourself…or going out and getting drunk every night. One of those two. Either way, only the latter one is a social activity.
So essentially, your choice is to take up a hermitous life of self-improvement and individual exploration for a year, to step out and start leading gatherings (which might all be old people who attend), or leave. Trying to volunteer for a city council or something might be another thing to do, though I suspect that the other people there and the discussions raised will make you want to commit homicide.
Though of course, my little town was an actual town, not just someplace that was a glorified company town. So the dynamics might be considerably different from what I said.
Depression is depressing! Ah, but the thing is it builds so much character if you resurrect yourself from it by yourself. Most of the great thinkers, artists, inventors throughout history were alone, were forced to overcome adversity, and did it on their own. In the process they became unique one of a kind individuals and not hermits but rather oracles.
At this time in your life it is about discipline which you seem to be excelling at with your teaching, congratulations. ‘Bridges’ are very important, they let you get back to where you were. And a stash of cash is very comforting.
I might suggest however in your free time rather than counting the seconds as they tick off show some discipline there, too. The technique is to schedule your free time to make the most of it. Just don’t float through. Draw a big calender and schedule your free time just like you schedule your class time or your exercise time. Then discipline yourself to keep to that calender.
Even in northern Alberta there are just tons of possible experiences that don’t make it a ‘shitbucket’ or a ‘backwater’ but rather make it a unique once in a lifetime opportunity, like:
Snow camping
Curling
Ice Skating
Fishing
Hunting
Astronomy
Summer Camping
Learn Survival Skills
Canoing
cross country skiing
Snowmobiling
Bug collecting
Drill rigging
Engineering
Ah and my favorite, Beer making!
Ah and my other favorite, Counting money
Composing
the list is nearly endless!
Personally, I would have got a summer job on the oil rigs.
This to shall pass, as it did for me. I plopped myself down in New Jersey for four years and was immediately depressed by the weight of all those people and their strange ways. And then with the technique above I did things that enriched my life and gave me wonderful memories. As to the people, well I became the life of the party, go figure. Psst, when making new acquaintances in a new place listen intently and keep your mouth shut. A good listener is universally appreciated. Your not the only one with problems you know and besides you can’t learn anything new if you talk all the time.
Be conservative and be happy everyday or be liberal and regret all the could have beens of a lifetime!.You can create heaven where ever you are!
Just out of curiosity, what is it about the MS that would be worse there than where you are? HK healthcare is really good, and there are lots of Hong Kongers with MS who do as well as can be expected.
It’s the heat that would do her in. Anytime she gets in temperatures above 24-25C she starts losing feeling in her extremities. Summer temperatures in HK are quite a bit higher than that. The unfortunate thing is that she likes HK almost as much as I do.
Ah, I getcha. Yeah, that would suck.
Just so people know I haven’t been counting the seconds…although it feels like it sometimes. As you are all seeing, I am a fairly stubborn person. When I went to Europe last summer on a solo backpacking adventure, I realized how much I missed playing music and vowed when I came back I would make music my goal.
And through thick and thin I worked on it to death this year. I got up at 6:00 in the morning to practice before school, and then I would practice afterschool. I listed to over 60 Albums of classical music to memorize the repertiore…and I listed to hard stuff like Stravinsky and Richard Strauss. I worked on my conducting. I worked on a film composition, and I learned a new instrument. I did this mostly alone, which only contributed to my depressive ways.
I understand what people say that I could be happier if I just caved and did what everyone else around me was doing. But I just can’t! If I go and hang out and watch CSI at someone’s place for an evening and talk boring talk about school / whatever, I feel guilty I’m not working on music or doing what I want to do. I don’t want to become a victim of where I live and sacrifice my dreams. I think I’m lucky to have dreams still at age 25, and I want to realize all of them.
I think the problem with where I live is no one understands the last paragraph. Everyone has settled. I know I’m stubborn, and I know it’s not easy, but it is what I want to do that counts. I know eventually I will find people who will support and encourage me. I will in turn support and encourage them because we have similar interests. And then I will be happy.
Does any of this make sense or I am I crazy?
Makes perfect sense, and no, you are not crazy. You seek to be someone out of the ordinary, and in doing so, you’re already out of the ordinary. Do what makes you happy, but expect some suffering along the road to get to where you want to go. It’s what makes it worth it.
I don’t understand this. Even if you could cave and do that–and I agree that it doesn’t sound as if you could–you’d be miserable, probably more miserable than you are now.
I’d say you’re definitely on the right track. You just have to take the plunge and move somewhere that’s right for you.
Or be focusonz and be conservative everyday and be . . . well, kind of fucked up.
Ahhh, just kidding focusonz. You’re the voice of reason. The reason that I might just go ahead and vote for Obama, just to imagine the look on your face when he wins.
That’s the cool thing for having two guys you hate in the running. You don’t have to worry about which one to vote for, because we’re probably screwed either way. Best of all, neither of them are Bush. We can’t lose! [/end hijack]
Yeah, I grew up in the farming part of Saskatchewan, not the resources, so I don’t really get that part of things. I just cringe when I think of going to work on the rigs, my brother’s friend did and he came back paralyzed.
We Saskatchewanians have a habit of staying insulated. There are two things to attain to: being a high-falutin’ Regina resident who pretends to be a Torontonian, or hitting it rich in Calgary/Edmonton. I totally get the lack of culture. I come from one of the only places worse than Lloyd - PA. We couldn’t even sustain 2 Coles!
Last things first and first things last.
Never say or mean or act hate! Hate is an emotion and then when the worm turns then you will hate some more and more and more. Use rational thought and tally the list of trade offs of each candidate and then vote. Then when the worm turns you will know that you did rightly at the cusp. You maintained your principles and your conscience is clear and you have no emotional surplusage and can be happy.
Quasimodal please do not hate where you are. If you feel that emotion coming on, go outside and look at the Northern lights playing across the milky way and write a song about it.
Linty Fresh, you will never see the look on my face. You will see nothing but assholes and elbows as I head to the hills.
Quasimodal What I meant being conservative is less a political doctrine than a habit of mind, a mode of feeling, a way of living.
Quasimodal be conservative and
Do not attempt to modify the complex web of human interactions that form human society, for the sake of some doctrine or theory (or emotional state) , runs the risk of running afoul of the iron law of unintended consequences.
Where as liberal casts fate to the wind to achieve total individual freedom not bound by traditional or conventional ideas and values. And my observations are that they are rarely happy because total individual freedom can never be achieved and these days liberals seem to be motivated by hate and rage and emotion more than anything else and like Linty Fresh be . . . well, kind of fucked up. Ahhh, just kidding Linty Fresh.
Lol, I’m as stubborn as a mule. The day I hand in my Liberal stripes will be a cold day post global warming
Seriously, teaching is the best part of my stay. I love the kids (even the snotty ones) and I love sharing my passion for music with them. They seriously have saved me from going into a complete downward spiral. I never thought I really needed kids in my life till I began teaching them.
As for the hate thing. I don’t know. I’m reminded of something I heard on LOST once; The struggle a moth goes through to free itself from it’s cocoon is what makes it strong enough to survive. I know I shouldn’t submit to hating a place…yet I’m also trying to be honest with myself about what I want to do in life.
These past few days off have been very nice for reflecting on the year. I already feel like I’m making positive changes in my life. I’m hooking up with some old friends, some of which I haven’t seen in years. There will be some good conversations in the coming weeks.
Yah yah, I wasn’t trying to be political. Good for you!
But, I am concerned!
I reviewed your history of posts and learned that 13 months ago you lost a lot of weight, which means you had a radical change in diet.
And I observed that this depression thing of yours started about the same time. 13 months is a long time for depression without an underlying cause.
I might suggest you are not getting enough vitamin D in the far north. I wish you would go to a doctor or at least get yourself on some dietary supplements. I also suggest some big doses of B12 while your at it. Of course, I cannot give you medical advice and you administer at your own risk. Consult the Internet and that Doctor.
D and B12 and a multi and DHEA keep me pumped and on top of the world. Boy if your problem is just vitamin deficiency I will be somewhat pissed over all the psycho babble that has been dispensed. oh well I will put it all in my black bag for the next patient to come around.
You moved south for the summer. Sunshine on the skin produces most of the vitamin D that you need. Vitamin D and Depression
Good luck!