If you get off with a mermaid, is it bestiality?

Inspired by the recent NOAA announcement that mermaids probably do not exist, and a bit of Ricky Gervais’ standup.

If you met a mermaid sunning herself on a rock, got chatting and then got down to business (as far as anatomy allows, that is), is that bestiality?

Consider the fact that a mermaid seems to have fish genitalia . . .

Bestiality is defined as sex with any non-human animal, so technically speaking even having sex with something as closely related as a Neanderthal would be considered bestiality. Also I imagine it would be more accurate to picture dolphin parts when thinking about mermaid sex.

Now that is certainly not a sentence I ever imagined I would type.

I guess it depends on which half you are involved with. If it is oral sex with you as a recipient, I guess that’s ok. If you happen to be a centaur or satyr, then you are out of luck either way.

Was it Woody Allen who once mentioned a mermaid who was half-woman, half-fish, but divided down the middle??


To quote Philip J. Fry: Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?! :smiley:

My luck, I’d get the half that eats!

I want a merMAN . . . and if I limit myself to his mouth, it’s not bestiality.

It al depends, doesn’t it? I’ve seen representations of mermaids that were human down to past the genitals. Or you could have the “Splash” type mermaids who get human legs on land (or your Little Mermaid scenario where they get feet. Or One like the one in that Night Gallery Episode Lindemann’s Catch, who starts out human on top and fish beneath, but turns into fish on top and human beneath
(the idea’s been around since before Fry)

This only works if you’re into that “Innsmouth Look”. Which some people – you just KNOW it – would be.

Imagine what face-to-face sex would be like that. You’d have to put a pillow between faces, or…use a flag over fishface, then fuck for Old Glory.

Bestiality is wrong because animals can’t consent, but in the mermaid’s case, the part with the brain is people. So it’s kind of insulting to call her a beast. So in other words, yes it’s bestiality, but it’s OK.

Need answer fast?

I dunno. There’s something fishy about this explanation.

Perhaps it depends on the evolutionary origin of mermaids. Are they are species of human that evolved fish tails, or a species of fish that evolved human-like upper bodies?

If we try to get off and fail, is it bestiality?

Yeah. It’s murky enough that no one could predict which way the scales of justice would fall.

I’ll bet a fin on bestiality.

She’s a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I’d call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It’s not like have sex with a fish; it’s like having sex with an alien.

I’d say it would get called bestiality, but who cares really? It’s sort of the acceptable kind, like centaurs and swans. It’s all worked out magically somehow, because there’s an essence of humanity in these creatures during the act. It’s not like having sex with some dumb animal, there’s human love, or at least lust involved in both participants.

Yes, anybody who isn’t a homo sapiens sapiens.

Depends on which end you get it on with.