Remember Prissy from “Gone With the Wind”? That would be me. Well, except I probably wouldn’t be screaming, “Miss Scarlett, I don’t know nothing about birthing babies!” because that would make no sense.
But then again, perhaps I would…
I saw this in some movie set in Vietnam. Some brand new jerk gets off the chopper and two minutes into his tour steps on a landmine and gets killed. An onlooker shakes his head in disgust and says something like “They should have shot the stupid bastard in the recruiting office and saved everyone the trouble”.
That would be me.
Lumpy, likewise.
Mark Twain once described himself as having “lit out for the Tropic of Cancer” at the first opportunity during the Civil War. That would be me if I didn’t step on the landmine and made it to my first battle.
When I was a kid, I was a chubby, weak, frightened kid who got picked on.
Now I’m not.
I’m not afraid of death, and if war broke out, I’d go willingly, to serve and die, if need be, for my country.
I would trudge right up to the enemy, and shoot him right between the eyes, before kicking him away and shooting the next, the next, and the next. Mercy comes only in death.
I’d live to die, fighting with the most I could give, ignoring sleep, pain, and hunger, waiting for one more taste of enemy blood.
If I got shot, I wouldn’t care. Throw a patch on it and keep going. Fuck it. To quote Painless Blaine, “I don’t have time to bleed.”
You wouldn’t want to meet me. The enemy would whisper my name and tremble at the thought. Death, pain, anger, hatred, and a pure, blinding vision. The vision of victory.
You don’t fuck with me. I’d be a soldier.
–Tim
I think a lot of people would be surprised at how good a soldier they’d make.
After six years in the Army and a considerable amount of study of military theory and history, I can say that, when it comes to soldierly qualities, there are a few things you can be sure of:
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Most of the people you would think would make good soldiers don’t.
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Many of the people you would think would not make good soldiers do.
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Overt machismo and bravado is a sure sign a guy will be a completely worthless soldier.
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Contrary to what people will tell you, a smart soldier is a better soldier than a dumb one.
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If you have capable superiors and are part of a reasonably weell organized military, you will be a good soldier. If you are led by thudfucks and are part of a crappy organization, there is virtually no chance at all that you will be a good soldier.
In my experience, if you wanted a good soldier, you got a reasonably intelligent and likeable person who wasn’t in terrible physical shape, and you’re all set. I pick those particular qualities because
A) Obviously you have to at least be healthy, but you don’t need to be an Olympic athlete,
B) Intelligence DOES help. A soldier’s duties are many, and the smarter s/he is the better those duties will be executed. Military operations are by their nature very complicated and confusing, and involve a great deal of planning, coordination, and application of stuff you learned in a classroom. Every dumb soldier I knew was worthless.
C) If you’ve got serious social or personality problems, that can be an obvious hindrance to working in a team, which in the Army is the only way you CAN work.
I think there are two misconceptions floating around:
FIRST: In my experience, you would be very surprised how you’d measure up. Peculiar Pixie can say she’s incapable of conformity or Balance can say he sucks at following orders, but you’re assuming being a soldier is merely doing drill all the time. You don’t know how you’ll react to Army-style discipline - frankly, it gets to be sort of a hoot more than anything else - and being a soldier is a fairly interesting job at times. Being a soldier is not an overly difficult or disciplined job! It’s DIFFERENT, but that can be fun. IMHO, any healthy, non-stupid adult can make a decent soldier.
SECOND: It’s impossible to say how you would or wouldn’t react in combat or what job you’d be good at without actually learning and applying the skills. I mean, it sounds fun to be a “sniper” or ambush guys, but ambushing guys is not a job in the Army. Most people in the armed forces are not infantrymen, and even infantrymen don’t get to just ambush guys.
Any military operation is based on a plan, either a pre-planned operational design (e.g. Normandy) or contingency plans (e.g. if we get attacked in camp, you will man machine gun position C.) By and large, your effectiveness in that situation is going to be dependent upon how well you remember your role and how effectively you’re led by your sergeant/officer when the plan goes to hell, as it usually does.
To continue on with the Normandy example, you’ll remember in “Saving Private Ryan” how soldier rallied around Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) and Sgt. Horvath (Tom Sizemore) when they began moving up the beach towards the German fortifications. That part of the movie was absolutely true to the real battle on Omaha Beach; the shattered first waves were rallied by junior officers and sergeants who gathered whomever they could and moved on. BY YOURSELF, you’d be completely ineffective and probably paralyzed with fear; but with a structure and a plan, however slapdash it might be and even if it’s no more than “Let’s go up this beach and kill all those Jerries,” it’s easier to function. If you can concentrate on your role within a larger operation you can intellectualize the task at hand and keep functioning. If you’re well led, you will fight well. If you are not, you won’t.
I married a draft-dodger in 1970 and a couple of other friends did too. In this part of the country we looked on it as a kind of community service. There were a lot of American ex-patriots living here and it’s easy to see why. Big Decision, eh? You could go half way around the world to some hell-hole jungle and be napalmed…or…not.
I have played paint-ball “war games” and know that I would have been dead meat in less than 48 hours in the real world.
Which leaves me wondering, who the hell would aspire to being “a good soldier”? You’d have to be a fully paid-up robot to buy into that thing.
I wouldn’t make it into the army, I’m in horrible shape, well not horrible but not the greatest. If they ever did drag me out there I’d crumble into a useless heap and start crying. Or I’d suck it up and try to be a leader. Either way I’d end up dead.
Kitty
I don’t know what I would do.
I would like to think that I would be the type who does what needs to be done. Nothing less, nothing more.
I pray I never have to find out. I mean that in all honesty. I just finished reading Birdsong, by Sebastian Faulks, which concerns WWI and trench warfare. The accounts I read there and elsewhere have given me the barest, slimmest, tinyest hint of the sheer hell that is war, and I can honestly say I hope I never have to experience it.
Being ex-infantry myself, I must agree with RickJay - team playing is what it’s about, physical fitness comes along the way. (I weighed something like 120 punds when I started basic, and I was a pretty damn good soldier. And I have the regimental gold watch to prove it.) I’m also one of the most peaceful persons you’ll ever meet, but it turned out I was quite aggressive when the adrenaline got flowing and I saw a chance to to gain the upper hand for myself or my unit.
Discipline is hard at first, but that’s because new recruits don’t know jack about the job - later, even lowly privates are expected to think, react, communicate, show initiative. The drill bit is - well, fun isn’t the word (sometimes it is - few things beat seeing a senior NCO screw up an order and fight to save face) - but not a problem. Soldiers are handling a lot of dangerous stuff (guns come to mind) and there can’t be any room for screwing up, hence strict procedures in a lot of situations. This doesn’t turn you into a mindless robot, it just makes sure you can field-strip your rifle in darkness even if you haven’t slept for 48 hours and keep your mind free for listening for movement in the dark, taking orders, keep an eye on your cooking or whatever.
I haven’t been in combat (a fact for which I’m very, very grateful), but there’s really no way of knowing how one’d react. A D-day scenario is probably the worst imaginable, becuse it’s so clearly a matter of luck who’ll live and who’ll not. Once you get into broken country, skill plays a much larger role.
One word for all the sniper types out there: You can’t go off acting alone! - your squad or platoon leader has designated a job for you, and you had better get your ass in gear and start doing it. Your mates are expecting you to - soldier comradeship is much laughed at, especially among those who’ve never worn a uniform - but even in an Omaha Beach scenario, you try to stick with your unit, do the job at hand and get the mission done. I personally believe that as long as my unit were moving, I would be, too. Leave my pals in the lurch ? No way.(Besides, getting off the beach would’ve been a Good Thing - talk about a field of fire).
WWI is another scenario, because the generals generally speaking were indescribably incompetent - the tactics have been perfectly described as “stopping machine gun bullets with the chests of brave men”. Would I have gone over the top ? I honestly do not know.
S. Norman
RickJay, that was one of the few lengthy posts that I can say I agreed with, top to bottom. Each of your points can be verified by historical example, and I can provide personal testimony to each of your points myself. (Fifteen years active duty, and counting.)
MaryJane, on the other hand, has no idea what she’s talking about.
Thanks for the grin, handy. 
I’d be average. Don’t stand out, and it’s over sooner, that’s what all my friends tell me.
If I was terminally ill I would like to be accepted into one of the armed forces as a suicide bomber. In the window of time between diagnosis and being too ill to move I could be disguised as a tourist, get close to a chosen evil dictator and explode myself. I’m almost serious. I can’t understand why the terminally ill don’t seem to have ever taken this pragmatic stance. Even though I am a pacifist I admire Colonel Oliver North because his philosophy during the drugs for guns scandal seemed akin to mine. When he saw something that needed doing he just went ahead and did it. What’s so stupid about that?
A Sniper is right up my alley.
Reasons:
1)I am extermely good with long range targets. I have hunted in the past and picked stuff off at 600-700 yards in moderate wind. With training, I could do a lot better
2)I have extremely good eyesight (medically I have been told I have abnormal recognizance of small movements- all that meant to me was that I had fast eye reflexes)
3)I am a loner type. I have always worked better when left alone for long periods of time.
4)I can maintain positions for long periods of time.
Do I want to do it though? Hell no, I am a better lover than a warrior.
I’ve seen some comparisons to Yossarian, but I’d be more like Billy Pilgrim (of Slaughterhouse-five): a wimp, a coward, and completely insane.
A really bad one. I d wince at the loud noises. Cower when people came after me. and I also kinda of a pacifist so Id be suggesting we talk about our problems instead of fighting
- Moving over from another forum for just a moment . . .*
I think I’d make a damn good soldier. I got to hang out with the Marines in High School and college, and my current AF assignment is pretty ‘joint’ in function. My commander has actually said to my face that he considers me an asset as “the first guy I know to pick up a rifle and fight”.
Call me crazy, but I’m kinda hoping that someday I get to prove just how crazy and tough I am (God forbid a war breaks out 
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Tripler
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