I just found out that someone I used to be in love with may be manic depressive. We’re not as close as we used to be but I still care very deeply about her. I know next to nothing about manic depression and the info at the library was scanty and out of date.
I know there are a few people on this board with first- or second-hand experience dealing with this condition. In addition to urging her to go to a doctor and get properly diagnosed, what can I do to be a good friend to this woman?
For that matter, can she go to her pcp, or should a psychiatrist diagnose her? How can she know if the doctor knows what s/he’s talking about?
It hurts me to see her suffering (because she is suffering, regardless of the cause) and not know what to do about it.
in my experience, it’s been a rough one, with a girl i dated in college who was manic depressive, all you can really do is be there for her no matter what. Try to understand that most of her mood swings won’t be personal (towards you), and that there will be days or even just moments when she is so incredibly happy, and then just the reverse. If you want to stick this out, if you care for her… when she is in her manic state, and extremely hyperactivity is one of the signs, bear with her, and just be aware in case the mood suddenly changes. When she becomes depressed, it’s not a personal thing, it’s chemical with her, so it’s not her fault either, and you need to let her know you are there. Support her the best you can. It was very hard for me going through all this with this girl in college, the best i could do was just support her and be there for her when she needed me.
She did go to her pcp, and he gave her paxil. I don’t know that it was all that helpful, she didn’t like it much. We tried to look for therapy instead, but her doctor was very much against it.
IMO, therapy should be the first choice, and then the meds.
It depends on how bad the case is i suppose. It hurts like hell to see our loved ones suffer, but all we can do sometimes is be there to absorb some of that suffering so they don’t have to do it alone.
When I was an undergrad in psychology (during the early 90’s), they told us that Manic Depression or Bi-polar disorder was probably caused by chemical imbalance in the brain and that Lithium was very good at controlling the symptoms. I would think that a psychiatrist would be the most qualified to diagnose this.
I looked for some good web sources. It’s easier to find stuff under the more modern term “bipolar” … “manic depression” seems to be falling out of favor. I think this is because the latter term makes “manic” sound like a mere adjective modifying the noun “depression”, as if manic were a flavor or strength of depression. Not so - they are opposite ends of a spectrum of moods, well beyond the healthy middle zone which ranges “happy but still in touch with reality” and “temporarily sad but for a good reason”.
I think any decent physician should be able to redirect a patient with a psych condition to the appropriate professional. I mean, she shouldn’t have to worry about finding a specialist on her own. In the olden days, general practitioners used to identify these conditions on their own, and try their best to treat them - nowadays, they generally send patients out to specialists as a matter of course, whether the problem is psychiatric, or orthopedic, or whatever.
My advice to you is patience and optimism. Bipolar disorder has been treated with lithium with success for decades. Hard cases - rapid cyclers, lithium resistant folks - used to give the psychiatrists fits, but we have a whole slew of new drugs and knowledge to deal with the problem.
My understanding is that hypomanic episodes use up all the chemicals that make us happy. Lithium prevents hypomania, which will stop the hellish depression which would inevitably follow. This is enough in a lot of cases; when it isn’t - when the lithium leaves the patient at the depressive pole, there are anti-depressants to deal with that too. I only point this out because lithium treatment sounds like a louzy deal to a lot of untreated warriors … why would they want to “cure” the only relief they ever get from grinding depression? Eventually, most people agree that lithium is not there to control you, or to make you obedient, or keep you from enjoying life. It’s more like a lifeline to reality.
It’s against our rules to post the same thread in two forums, even for a subject as important as this one. Since a) you seem to be looking primarily for advice and b) the copy of this thread in MPSIMS is generating plenty of that, I’ll close this copy and direct folks to the MPSIMS copy, located here.