If You Know Anything About Manic Depression Please Read This

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I just found out that someone I used to be in love with may be manic depressive. We’re not as close as we used to be but I still care very deeply about her. I know next to nothing about manic depression, and the info at the library was scanty and out of date.

I know there are a few people on this board with first- or second-hand experience dealing with this condition. In addition to urging her to go to a doctor and get properly diagnosed, what can I do to be a good friend to this woman?

For that matter, can she go to her pcp, or should a psychiatrist diagnose her? How can she know if the doctor knows what s/he’s talking about?

It hurts me to see her suffering (because she is suffering, regardless of the cause) and not know what to do about it.

2

Frankly Scarlet (sorry), I’m not usually a big fan of medication, but I can tell you that it certainly helped my ex wife (when she would take it). I’ve heard the condition called “manic depressive disorder” and “bipolar disorder”, but I don’t know if there’s any difference. I can tell you that it can easily disrupt the lives of everyone who is close to the victim if treatment is not pursued.

Your friend should be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. (Most HMO’s don’t need a referral by the PCP, but she should check her plan.) She should definitely not pursue treatment through a psychologist or anyone calling themself a therapist, as this is a medical condition and she needs to see a real medical Doctor of Psychiatry (who may determine that she is not manic depressive).

Since you still care deeply about this friend, you should probably seek advice on coping with the disease as well. It is very easy to actually start enabling destructive behavior through good intentions (loyalty, love, friendship). There are simple things you can do to help your friend through the extreme periods, but you should receive that counselling from a psychiatric professional.

Good luck to you and your friend.

3

That’s some really good advice, X41.

The two things that I’ll add are:

  1. She won’t seek help until she realizes that she has a problem, that she truly wants to be better, and she understands that she can’t do it without help.

  2. You may actually be the source of the problem – at least in part. Despite your good intentions, your friendship, and everything else, it is quite possible that you’re an “enabler”. Consider suffering from a greater distance.
    SouthernStyle

4

I’m not really sure what the statistics are for people with bipolar disorder who will not seek treatment. I do know from close intimate experience that the standard medical treatment for the disorder is lithium. There are other drugs of course but this has been used most often. Those suffering from the disorder generally hate it. It whacks you out. It dulls your senses. It takes awhile, sometimes quite awhile to get the dosage right and the levels in your system. I haven’t looked lately into any of the alternative drugs. I just know that for some patients it is very easy to call it quits on the meds because they may take some effort to get it right.

People suffering from bipolar disorder are usually characterized as having drastic mood swings, from frantic or manic, to deep depression. Some with the disorder are more manic with these manic periods cycling more rapidly. Others are more depressed with periods of crippling depression and often suicide attempts. I do know of one statistic that I memorized; bipolar disorder is often accompanied by a co-disorder of drug addiction or alcoholism in a 9.2% ratio. I think that is pretty staggering, that 9.2% out of every 10 suffering with manic depression is pretty much self-medicating with drugs (usually cocaine) or alcohol. I beleive this is referred to as comorbidity. It is evidently quite common in other disorders too, such as schizophrenia.

There is quite a bit of information on the internet about bipolar disorder. The young actor that committed suicide last year, he was on that Brooke Shields sitcom. He was bipolar.

I do hope that your friend seeks treatment. And I do hope you will heed the warning given earlier in this thread not to “enable” your friend in destructive behaviors. It can happen, I’ve been there.

Needs2know

5

Sounds like you’ve gotten all the best advice already. I’ll just add that the risk of suicide has so far been downplayed. It is a VERY real risk for bipolar people in their “down” phase. Many resist treatment because it smooths out their moods in both directions. They want to lose the lows but keep the highs, and that can’t be done. Most people who go off meds do it for that reason, in my experience. She needs a DOCTOR as previously mentioned, this is a medical condition, not an emotional one. Good luck, it’s a rough ride.

6

Many people find psychiatric treatment helpful, and psychiatric diagnostic concepts useful in comprehending their condition and circumstances. A great many do not, including some very miserable people who desperately wanted help and put their faith in the system, as well as people who did not tend to see themselves as having problems that others thought they might have.

I think you should read the alternative perspectives before doing anything. Browse my web site:

http://members.aol.com/ahunter3

7

Hello I would like to state that I have firsthand experience with bipolar disorder. It, at one point came very close to ruining my life. At that point I was forced into treatment by my girlfriend. I didn’t want to go, but it was quit helpfull. There are three things that help very much with bipolar disorder; knowing yourself what it is, what causes it, and how to recognize warning signs of when you start going into a manic or depressive phase; the help of close friends; medication. Sadly many people in the country do not understand bipolar disorder or any kind of mental illness. They feel that it is the persons fault, that if only they could control their urges that everything would be ok. That has probably been the hardest point for me to accept. The fact that people expect me to be able to cntrol myself and I can’t. Luckily I have many friends who are very supportive. I’ve also become very aware of myself as a person. I have become aware of when I’m entering a swing, and can get help before it’s too late.
Lastly, for me at least, medication has been helpfull. I’ve been taking olanzapine/zyprexa. It’s an anti-psychotic. Much better than lithium. I’ve also gotten myself under control enough that I can use it on an as needed basis.

The drug abuse and use of bi-polars is very much a problem. For a long time I was self medicating myself. Getting so fucked up it didn’t bother me that I would black out for periods or do things beyond my control. I would just attribute it to the drugs. Sadly, they made my condition worse. If your friend is using any drugs she definetely needs to re-evaluate why she is using them. I’ve found that I didn’t have to cut drugs out completely. I just had to be aware of why I was using them and to stop using them as an escape mechanism.

8

From my own experience -

I think there is a difference between bipolar and depressive. Personally, I just have the depressive episodes, of varying intensity, and not the “manic” ones.

You don’t say who diagnosed your friend, but she should definitely see a psychiatrist who specializes in this. Sometimes other disorders, such as OCD, are mistaken for depression. It’s important to know what you’re dealing with.

The medicines can be a life saver, but there is no one right treatment - the drugs act differently for everyone. Atavan, for example, made things worse for me. Buspar seems to work well at a low dosage, but that’s just me.

A certain amount of trial and error will be needed to find the right drug and the right dosage. She should definitely stay in close touch with her doctors during this time. And she needs to be absolutely honest about ANY other drug or vitamin or herbal she takes, legal or otherwise, since the drug interactions can be extreme.

I’ve learned to identify certain symptoms and thought patterns. Sometimes I find myself afraid to open the curtains, for example, or it’s too painful to take a shower. I’ve learned to be able to recognize this as being an irrational attitude produced by my condition. Sometimes I can push through, sometimes not, but it helps me to know it’s just a side effect. Also, I can tell people if I know I’m going through this.

For yourself, I’d say don’t hover, and don’t emphasize how painful it is, or how sorry you are. Don’t do anything to make it seem bigger or worse or more insurmountable than it is. Treat this like you would if she had high blood pressure, or diabetes. Unfortunate, and annoying to take the medicine, but quite treatable, and nothing that can’t be handled.

Listen, and emphasize, but don’t be afraid to say, "now, you know that’s not real - that’s your depression talking. In otherwords, don’t let her emotions dictate reality, so that if she’s all upset, you’re all upset. I’m not sure I’m saying this right.

Attitudes towards depression are changing, as people learn more about the disease. I believe that depression is covered by the ADA, so if you’re in the US, you might want to see if that applies to anything in her situation.

Finally, just like alchoholism, like any illness, she needs to be responsible for her own treatment (unless she needs to be hospitalized, but at that point you’re usually beyond simple depression.) If she will take her medicine, great, if she wont - her choice. But you can’t obssess about it, or try to make her do it. It will only work if she wants to.

Good luck. God bless.

Meghan

9

merneith said:

As illustrated here by others, there is a difference. But I haven’t seen anyone else mention the difference in medication. Many psychiatrists will diagnose bipolars as manic depressives, and prescribe accordingly. Unfortunately, this can have severe repercussions on bipolars, who need different medications. Make sure you do your own research and reading before blindly accepting what a doctor tells you. As always, the ultimate responsibility for your health is in your hands.

10

I have an immediate family member who had battled manic/depressive/bipolar. I am also the daughter of a shrink, and a pysch major, so I always thing I know what I’m talking about.

There IS a difference between manic/depressive and just one or the other. Manic/depressive the same as Bipolar Disorder. When someone is diagnosed as either JUST depressive or JUST manic, they are referred to as unipolar. In high school, my best friend’s mom was a unipolar manic. And she was Cuban. She was terribly fun to be around for a couple hours, but soon you wanted to whack her.

The best way of understanding BD is to imagine that on a daily basis, a normal person experiances a sort of emotional sizmograph (sp?). It varies from day to day, and it varies from hour to hour. With someone suffering from BD, the sizmograph is in earthquake mode all the time. But the length that a person with BD stays manic or stays depressed varies.

It’s also important to realise that being manic is FUN. It’s like being on cocaine. My family member once painted her entire apartment in a day while manic, because she got tired of white. My best friend’s mom would be talking to you, and suddenly jump up, turn on Latin dance music, and insist that we all begin dancing. The price they pay for manic behavior is the depression, which I think we all have handle on.

The difference between a bipolar and a unipolar is pretty obvious. For bipolarism, you’re treating two separate behaviors, manic and depressive. You give anti-psychotics for manic and anti-depressants for the depressive states, depending on the severity of the condition. Most people with the disorder are skewed one way or the other. From my meager understanding of neurochemisry, depression is caused by a lack of certain neurochemicals (the only one I remember is seretonin) and manic behavior is caused by an excess. Or vice-versa. Her body is just not regulating neurochemicals normally. But she is no more to blame than a diabetic who’s pancreas is not regulating insulin.

Scarlet, let your friend know that you are sticking by her. It’s not easy. As they screw with her meds, she’ll get worn down physically, and emotionally. She needs councilling. My family member is now medication free, and the happiest I’ve ever seen her. Allow her to talk without interupting. And don’t abandon her.

Good luck to you and her. E-mail me if you want someone to talk to during all this, I’ve been there.

11

Thank you all, so much, for your advice and concern. I feel so helpless cause Im not sure she’s at the point where she wants to do anything about it. I cant very well pick her up and carry her to a psychiatrist. But at least now I have some helpful advice if she ever asks me.

12

Yep, its tricky, when they are down, they don’t want assistance & when they are up, they don’t think they need any.