I married my HS sweetie in 1972, we are still going strong. I am very lucky. We’ve had lots and lots of problems but never with loving each other.
It’ll be 15 years this year, being together, a solid 10 being married. I still love her as much as I have at the beginning. As with any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs and our fights, but I can’t imagine persisting without her. She’s my partner in this thing we call life.
Things have changed for the better over the years - we’ve become more mature. Especially in how we deal with each other when we are angry or fighting. We still have heated exchanges, but they are no longer emotional tirades where we sling insults at each other. We have also learned that when angry, it’s perfectly fine to ‘take a walk’ or what have you. In short, we both know how to deal with each other when we are upset and neither of us intentionally try to make the other more upset. I mention all of this not because I think we are necessarily different from other couples that have lasted as long as we have (or longer), but because with her family (my extended family is somewhat out of the picture - I assume the same hold true for them), none of this seems to be the case. It’s like when they get in a fight, they are metaphorically out for blood. It doesn’t matter how much of a scene they make or who they drag into the fight.
My wife and I haven’t always handled each other the way we do now - it was a learning process. As I said, we’ve matured a great deal.
She still makes me want to be a better person and to take on responsibilities in my life. She is still my avid supporter and I hers.
Again, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
Forty years this June for us. Engaged for 2 1/2 years before that after dating about 9 months. We still hold hands while walking and do most things (except jobs) together. Just spent 3+ days digging out from the recent snow storm together.
Known each other for 41 years and have been married for almost 35. Not super infatuated all the time, but plenty of the time. Been pretty good, especially considering that we never lived closer than 600 miles apart before we get married. Sometimes you figure out she is the one for you, no matter what obstacles are in the way.
First date with Mrs. Cretin was August 15 1969. Ten months later we got married. Four months away from 43rd anniversary.
Interestingly, neither of us ever felt “madly in love” limerance (or whatever the word is). By the end of that first date we liked each other intensely, wanted to be together, and with hindsight I think we somehow skipped the “truly madly deeply romance” phase and went straight to the long-term calmer love. Which persists to this day, more strongly than ever. I have just glanced over at the the old girl and grinned at her.
Edit: like Old Guy just upthread, Mrs. C and I still do almost everything together (except careers, but we’ve been retired for eight years).
I met my wife in November of 1984 while camping out for Bruce Springsteen tickets, so we started off with at least that in common. Sadly, her musical tastes took a nasty turn about 10 years ago, never to return. Saliva, Disturbed, Slipknot… ugg. WTF is wrong with Stevie Wonder or Chuck Mangione, huh?
Anyway we married in 1989, and have been happy ever since. Not every hour, mind you; no two people can agree on everything for 30 years straight. She writes notes with a Sharpie instead of a regular pen or pencil, lets the dog lick and lick and lick any part of her he can reach, and has never put the cap back on a fucking pen in her life.
These are her only sins, and as mine are far worse, she is the much better half of our equation.
Together 29 years, married 24, with two healthy, genius, funny kids.
We’re like Crow T. and Tom Servo all day, we travel and see places, and watch separate TVs when necessary, 'cause I’m not going to watch American Idol or Project Runway and still be able to look at her.
Her folks have been married over 50 years, mine made it 45 before they passed away. My one sister has been married almost 40 years; the other 4 or 5 times in the same time period…
Our grandparents were all married 60+ years before passing away. Just seems like that’s the way it should be.
We threw a big 50th anniversary party for her folks a couple of years ago. We haven’t even hit half that, and it’s humbling to even think about.
It can be done, but with a good deal of give and take. We’ve scaled some seemingly insurmountable problems, and continued on.
I bet you can too.
31 years next May, and we dated for three years (almost) before that.
Like others have mentioned, it runs in the family. My parents will hit 62 years in September (God willing). My younger sister and her husband have been married 33 years (they just became grandparents - hi, Logan Mae!), my brother 36 years, and my older sister is the oddball - only twelve years (this time - first marriage lasted ten years).
My parents-in-law lasted 64 years. My great-grandparents are the champs - they celebrated their 75th anniversary.
My mom says the first thirty years are the hardest.
Regards,
Shodan
We will be married thirteen years next month. We have grown apart at times, but then we have grown back together in new and interesting ways. We have let go of what we thought marriage was going to be like and learned all kinds of things about what it really is. I think we are probably happier together now than we have ever been.
Andy L and I have been happily married for over two decades. Mwah, honey!
I’ve been married three times. Two of them lasted 9 years each, the third lasted much too long - biggest mistake I ever made.
On April 17, SWMBO and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary as a couple. And there is not a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate how lucky I am to have her in my life.
Been with my wife since 1973, when we began dating at age 15. Married in 1981
We’ve had our trials and tribulations, but we’re still very much devoted to each other. We share common interests, but we also each have our own separate interests and activities, and don’t have to do everything together.
Even so, we do enjoy being adventurous together, traveling, hiking, dining, playing as we go. We enjoy our adult kids, but enjoy even more the fact that we’re empty nesters. We keep busy rediscovering what brought us together in the first place. Hint: It wasn’t the desire to raise kids.
Hey, Mr. Legend and I married in 1981, too! We met and started dating in 1979. Of course, I’m much, much younger than you, Qadgop. Why, I was a mere child of 12 in 1973!
We had different models for marriage. My parents divorced when I was 8, after years of bitter arguments, whereas his parents had been married for almost 60 years when his mom died. They were very happy together and always considerate of each other. We’ve managed to (mostly) follow the example of his side of the family.
We were married for 8 years before we had our first child, so we had time to develop our relationship as husband and wife before we figured out how to be parents. It’s been rewarding and kind of all-encompassing bringing up the kids, and now we’re kind of looking forward to the empty-nest years. It shouldn’t be long now. I’m looking forward to being able to rediscover ourselves without kids in the house.
My fiance and I first started dating in June 1999. We broke up in 2007 but it had nothing to do with our feelings for each other and everything to do with my mental issues. We got back together in 2009 after I dealt with my issues.
I love him more now than ever before. He proved he’s a keeper by waiting for me to deal with my problems and by remaining my best friend for the entire 2 years I was away. His support and love regardless of the fact that I left him was at least as important as the antidepressant and therapy in my recovery.
Since we got back together he has proven time and time again that he’s the most wonderful man in the world. Even after all this time he still was unsure if I was serious when I said I didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. I finally got him to understand that he shows me how much he loves me every single day. I don’t need candy or flowers to know how lucky I am or how special he is.
I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t think I deserve him but neither does anyone else. He’s just that wonderful.
My partner and I met in a totally unlikely place: the “back room” of an NYC gay porn movie theater. I took him home with me, and we spent the entire weekend in my apartment. That was 1987, and a year later we got an apartment together. New York apartments are small, and our “Odd Couple” domestic styles almost cost us the relationship. So when I relocated to care for my parents, my partner bought the house next door. Now my parents are gone, and we still live as next-door neighbors . . . he with his two dogs and I with my two cats. At one point we thought of building a connection between the houses, but our suburb has a zoning problem with that.
25.5 years, and our love continues to thrive . . . as long as we don’t actually live together. Someday soon, maybe our state will allow us to marry.
18 years married this May, 21 years together all in all.
31 years as of last August. The romance isn’t the same, but we’re still very close as friends.
Married in 1991. A few more cats, a little less sex than the first year or two together, but other than that we get on better than ever and he’s been my best friend since shortly after we started dating.
Been married for 55+ years. I can’t add much to what has already been said except to say that we treat each other with all the consideration of best friends which we are and always have been.
Together for 12 years. Married for 9. There are good days and bad but there is never a doubt that we love each other and that we are on the same team.
Our secret is to be honest and open with each other. Now that we have kids, we actually have a set meeting time to not only make plans but catch up with each other each day.
He is a part of me in everything I do. I can’t imagine a day without him.
Met in 1985, married in 1989, so our 25th will be next year. Still best friends, still happy. We’ve had a few rough patches but nothing major, and we’ve diverged a bit on our core philosophies, but we still like a lot of the same things (we recently discovered Doctor Who together, and we’re lifelong gamer geeks) and we agree on most of the things that are important in a relationship. No kids, but several cats that we both adore.
It really doesn’t feel like 25 years. I think the keys for us were being friends before we got married, and communication. Always communication.