Thanks a lot. You’ve gone and spoiled the beginning.
If you watch WALL-E backwards, it’s a movie about a plucky little robot who kicks everyone off the planet Earth so he can tidy up.
If you play Groundhog Day backwards, a talented, charming, well-mannered man in a relationship becomes a dillusional, suicidial, narcissictic maniac.
If you ever wondered what the bar manager said to Kryters and Rimmer when he chewed them out, well, here’s the message, they play the original as-filmed scene first, then reverse it
“You are a stupid, square-headed, bald git, aren’t you? I’m pointing at you, but I’m not actually adressing you, I’m addressing the one prat in the country who’s bothered to get hold of this recording, turn it round, and actually work out the rubbish that I’m saying. What a poor, sad life he’s got! Frankly, your act’s crap. Anyway, anybody could have done it .I hate the lot of you. Bollocks to you!”
Monkey-men? Ich bin der MonkeyMensch!
If you watch The General backwards, a confederate officer resigns his comission, then chases the union army with a train to give them his girlfriend. The union doesn’t want her either, so some spies chase the confederate guy south to give her back. Then, peace breaks out.
He wasn’t tidying up, he was tossing crap everywhere. And every now and then he’d take something cool out of his little storehouse and hide it. I think he was setting up some kind of treasure hunt for when the people got back.
If you play The Wrestler backwards you have a story about a past-his-prime pro-wrestler risking his life to relive his glory days who takes a job in a deli to pay the bills and then risks his life to relive his glory days.
Citizen Kane backwards would be the story, told in flashback, of how a sled symbolized lost innocence to an old media baron.
Romeo & Juliet is the tale of two teenaged kids who rise from the dead, split up, and make their parents happy.
Pretty much all Shakespearean tragedies would begin with a mass resurrection and end with a rich guy or king walking backwards from a room.
Someone must do PULP FICTION and or KILL BILL.
If you play either backward you get a huge headache.
It’s a Wonderful Life would be the story of how George Bailey avoids financial ruin and possible criminal charges by meeting an angel who shows him what life would have been like without him and convinces him to become respected and upstanding businessman by stealing money from an old man in a wheelchair (and would still be an eye roller to librarians everywhere*).
*IAWL is a source of humor to librarians because in the dystopian alterniverse where the druggist becomes a homeless drunk and the only Bailey son drowns in childhood and Potter takes over the entire town Mary has the horrible fate of becoming the town librarian, which sends George over the edge.
In Mind Spotless the of Sunshine Eternal, a couple in love do everything they can to forget each other, before undertaking a brain procedure to make them remember that they hate each other. Then they fall in love again.
If you play A Christmas Carol backwards, three ghosts turn a nice old guy into an old curmudgeon. His old business partner gives him the final shove.
If you play Planet of the Apes backwards, an astronaut escapes from the planet and returns to earth…or something
If you play Charley backwards, a retarded guy becomes really smart but later goes back to being retarded. In orther words, it makes no difference.
In Bill Kill, the heroine would use mighty voodoo sword magic to bring her former workmates back to life, only to end up in a coma being molested by her nurse.
If you play Bonnie and Clyde backward, you see a heroic couple returning stolen money to many small banks, in spite of fierce police opposition.
If you play Misery backwards, a writer with writer’s block forces a woman to hold him hostage so he can write his great novel. Unfortunately, after he finishes it he leaves and gets into a car crash.
If you play Stephen King’s It backwards, a big spider kidnaps adults and gives them a special treatment to turn them into children. Hilarity ensues when the clown is added.
…but you lose Jesus.
If you play An Inconvenient Truth backwards you’ll learn we’re in danger of falling ocean levels due to fast-growing polar ice caps, and a frightening increase in the number of polar bears.
If you play Roger and Me backwards, Michael Moore starts by asking Roger Smith why GM is destroying Mexico’s economy by moving its assembly plant to Flint, Mich., after which Moore spends the rest of the movie dodging interviews with Smith and sympathizing with repo companies being put out of business by Flint’s rising economy.
If you play The Magnificent Seven backwards, you see 7 American gangsters preventing a parade of Mexican horsemen from feeding a small village, untill the villagers pawn everything they own to pay the Americans to leave.
If you see All Quiet on the Western Front backward, you see a giant war begun with the sniping of a single soldier.
If you see My Fair Lady backwards, you see a beutiful society woman harrassed, berated and reduced to a street urchin by a rich guy on a bet. (I didn’t realize until writing this that Trading Places is basically a remake of this movie.)
Independence Day
Earth inhabitants discover a way of firing pieces of alien ships into the sky to reassemble them. They also use specially equipped backward flying aircraft to reassemble some of the ships and park them right over their cities.
The aliens return the favor by using special energy beams to rebuild and reassemble broken earth structures. Last to be repaired is Washington DC which never was much use anyway.
Earth plans a big celebration and uses its satellite communications to synchronize and count up to the time for the big celebration.
But the aliens are somewhat humble and quietly leave in the very early morning.
If you play The Straight Dope backwards, people become more and more ignorant.
Wait a minute…