If you wear that, I'll disown you.

My beloved SO is an older fellow with many quaint and curious ways. He likes Muzak, still writes hand-written letters to old friends, and irons his cotton handkerchiefs.

And being of his generation, beige is still the favourite colour in his wardrobe. Trousers, shirts, vests and even his socks are fucking beige. Every now and again he’ll get adventurous and wear a WHITE shirt, or KHAKI pants, but really, they’re just a different shade of beige.

Today he came home all excited after a shopping expedition to the Goodwill Store in town…with a beige suit. But not just any old suit, oh no…it was a Safari Suit, circa 1970, with lapels that extended all the way to the shoulders. It was in pristine condition with all the original creases still intact. Like it had never been worn even.


He tried it on and did the New Outfit parade before me, and I smiled, nicely, and made comment on what a bargain he had snagged….and that he was forbidden from ever wearing it out in public in my company. When The Kid came into the room and burst into hysterical laughter at the sight, I think he realised the gravity of his sin. :smiley:

What fashion faux-paxes do you, your SO or friends commit that mortify you and assault the senses?

Long before I knew Mr. Ujest, he proudly wore a lavender tuxedo to his prom.

When he went looking for a tux for our wedding he went to the tux shop that rented him thetux* and, ten years after prom, they remembered him the minute he walked in.

To this day he sees nothing wrong with this transgression.

Lavender Tux would be a good band name.

Well, I have some clothes my hubby just flat-out doesn’t care for, so I try not to wear them when we go out in public together.

He, OTOH, should be arrested by the Fashion Police. To his credit, though, he acknowledges this. He has no clue why certain colors don’t go with other colors. He does not understand why a gray shirt won’t look good with beige pants. . .they’re both neutrals, right?

It’s not unusual for my phone to ring around 7AM to be greeted with a “fashion” question because he’s getting dressed for work. He’ll say something like “You know those red slacks of mine?” (They’re actually more like a subdued brick color, but he calls them ‘red’) “Would my blue shirt go with those?”

At least he has enough sense to consult me! Things get extra-complex when he’s meeting with one of the big bosses and has to have a tie, too! :stuck_out_tongue:

Kambucta, sounds like your husband has exquisite tastes.

Kambuckta, I think you’re missing a teriffic opportunity to accompany him out decked in your finest leopard prints.

Or a username should Mr. Ujest join the Teeming Millions …

(To his defence, was his prom back in the day (probably 1970s, “the decade that fashion forgot”) when a lavender tux wouldn’t be seen as odd?)

Oh, the stories I could tell…

Probably the worst was when I wore my Snuggie ™ to a formal event. I got looks and laughter the entire night, although it was fun, so there.

But I’m begging you down on my bended knees
Oh honey, please don’t wear those shoes
You can spend my money, you can waste my time
Baby, I don’t mind, but please don’t wear those shoes
Don’t wear those shoes

  • Weird Al

I have a friend who had a purple felt suit - and he wore it to court. This was some time int he 90s.

His wife had bought it for him and he was quite proud of it. I am not one that people would point to and think wow, this man knows fashion! But I wouldn’t wear a purple felt suit.

Wow - I never talk about my boyfriend on the boards and now two posts in a row about him!

He is 45 and I am 34 and back in college so I have a bit of a younger skew in some of the things I wear (no, not the stripper shit in the junior department - I know what I’m too old to pull off!). So I think I am the one that stands out sometimes. He wears a rotation of about 3 shirts and pants. And the belt. Oh god the belt. It’s about 58 feet long and made of braided leather strings - you know the kind I mean. With no holes because you can attach it anywhere in the braiding? And it’s been falling apart for the last, oh I don’t know, ten years so it’s not really a belt but more of a whip that he fastens about his waist! I really, really want to get him a new belt but I swear I don’t think he’ll wear it.
But I’m not going to bitch. He just smiled when I went to dinner in tube socks and Chucks with a skirt. Or when I wear my pink wing tip mary janes with a black suit.

I have ZERO fashion sense and am grateful for a wife who does.

The Boy had a purple suit when we first met. He’d had it since his high school graduation, which was waaaay back in the mid-1990s (apparently, the height of the purple suit’s popularity). Like all suits from that time period, it had wide-leg cuffed and pleated pants, massive wide lapels and shoulder pads fit for a quarterback. Looked great on Arsenio Hall when he was at the peak of his career, looks pretty awful on a 5’5" balding Jew with a slight build.

Also, he insisted on making it cooler by wearing it with a Batman tie.

It was totally cringeworthy whenever we had to get dressed up and go out someplace, but lord love him, he looked so proud strutting around in that ridiculous aubergine suit that I didn’t have the heart to tell him how atrocious it was.

Thankfully, he got nominated for an industry award a couple of years ago, and I was able to tactfully suggest that this occasion called for a snappy (fashionable) new suit.

And no, the new suit isn’t purple.

Mahna Mahna - I wonder if the 90s purple thing is because its right when people that are buying more grown up stuff (tuxes, suits for business, more business-y clothing) were growing up when Purple Rain was popular? :slight_smile:

And good lord, bless you for not saying anything.

Isn’t pulling (it or one) off the whole point to “stripper shit?”

My wife dresses impeccably. I, OTOH, once had my team show up at my house (pre-marriage) to Garanimal my closet. They were tired of hearing comments about my (lack of) fashion sense.

Now I just hand them ear plugs. :smiley:

Well yeah, but I’m too old to go out in public wearing belly shirts and butt-crack jeans. There’s a fine line between dressing a little younger so you don’t look frumpy and looking pathetic. Knowing your own limits of what you should and should not wear is the best accessory.

Look, I live in MS - home of the halter top holding in the barely contained raw biscuit dough. I’m just doing all I can to stay off the peopleofwalmart.com site. :slight_smile:

I was just thinking the other day about how my boyfriend now shops exclusively at Dollar General for everything but his pants. If you don’t know Dollar General…it’s pretty much like Big Lots.

I was thinking about this because I was pondering how much he dresses like my dad - t-shirt in the summer, t-shirt and flannel in the winter. Two pairs of pants each.

I was pondering how my DAD dresses because my bro and I were talking about getting him Christmas presents from Drug Mart, which is technically a drug store but pretty much like Dollar General. They sell the shirts and flannels he so likes.

I was going to tell Dude about my brother’s find at Drug Mart, then I stopped and thought about the absurdity of the situation. On one hand I think they look fine. That is how they dress. On the other hand, hearing them both get excited about clothes from the drug store is just weird.

I have a pink hoodie with bunny ears attached, which I like to wear around in the cold. It’s adorable! It reminds me of A Christmas Story!

And it embarrasses my SO to the point of convulsions.

If it makes him happy, go along. What gives you the right to decide what he wears? Does he dress you? I went to a picnic and was wearing different right and left gym shoes. My wife was all embarrassed . I just said I have another pair just like them at home.

When I married mein Herr, his wardrobe consisted of white button-down Oxfords and tan pants, plus a few t-shirts and a couple pairs of jeans. I have managed to get him wearing lots of colors, but NOT pink. He does ask most mornings, “Does this go together?” I keep telling him that when I pop off, he’ll just have to go naked to work, or learn to make decisions on his own. :stuck_out_tongue:

Mr. Sali wore 501 jeans to work every single day of his life until he was moved into an office where he was more visible to people. This required an upgrade to more ‘formal’ pants, so he got a pair of khakis, like Dockers. But he couldn’t get used to all that room after form-fitting jeans. So he took them to a tailor and had them pegged - taken in - to fit tighter! He put them on and it was all I could do not to burst out laughing - he looked broad in the pelvis and skinny and skinnier down to the ankle, like the pants shrunk. God, that was hilarious, luckily he got used to the Docker types.

My girlfriend has no fashion sense, and no money. She buys endless pairs of jeans to cover her big butt and endless pairs of big white sneakers - and little horizontally striped cheapie t-shirts from Walmart. One time we were going to an event, and she declared she was going to buy, with her income tax refund, a brand new outfit from one of the anchor stores at the mall to wear to this event. Not only a new outfit, but a dressy upgrade!

So she shows up in her new duds, pleased as hell with herself, “how do I look? I spent almost $100 on this outfit, don’t I look great?”…She had on: new jeans. New big white sneakers. AND a brand new horizontally-striped t-shirt. :smack:

One time I wore a low cut camisole under a cardigan sweater to a holiday dinner with several family members. I sat there for quite a while until my mother whispered “aren’t you a bit…cold…in that top?” I’d been sitting chatting, unbeknownst to myself, with about 3/4 of my sizeable middle aged boobs just hanging out there for all to goggle at. I felt like a fool,wondering if I should just tough it out, or make it obvious that I was exposing too much by buttoning up the sweater right then and there.