I think mine would be, “shhhh.”
I would nev…Oh, you said IF.
sorry.
I did.
And it fits me like a glove.
Are you an Olde Schoole Foole?
Probably:
Mr. The Awesome
or
Emporer of the Galaxy and Smurfs.
Yesse
I waited nearly 8 years for mine, so there was never any doubt as to what it would be. Evidence.
Which doesn’t answer the OP’s question, but I just wanted to share. Again.
Legendary Creature — Gnu Newscaster
I’m considering getting one, but I haven’t a clue what to choose.
Professional Lurker
Once it was an option, I knew what it had to be…
I can be hired. Or schmoozed.
guess
Estrogen Brigade Bait, of course 
I don’t really have a response to the OP, but if I were a guest, I would consider changing my user title to “Charter Mernber”.
In certain fonts, “rn” looks a lot like “m”, so you could fake being a “Charter Member.” In the font that’s currently used, it’s obviously a fake, but it’s close. . .
How about “Antibody?” 
Someone has Band as their title (I think it is), and even that has faked me out already.
“Female”
I would like my handle here to be my title.
Acme Product Tester or some such.
The only thing I can think of off hand is: Custom Title.
Although, if I had a boat, it would be the: Polysyllabic Designation*. That might work as a title.
*from Schlock Mercenary