I doubt I’d give a large lump sum unless there was a specific need I knew of. If a freind was on the verge of losing thier home, had an unexpected medical bill, I’d step in.
I would be more likley to buy lavaish gifts that would be a big help. A car, Plane tickets, whatever seemed needed.
As a musician I’d also put some of my musician friends to work and pay them generously.
or, if someone struggling wanted to go back to school I’d seriously consider funding that.
I wouldn’t expect anything and I wouldn’t ask unless I was in very dire circumstances. I’d be more appreciative if they offered me work or something like that.
for instance; a long time friend offered to finance a project that may or may not show any return. It’s incredibly generous , but the fact that there’s an opportunity for profit for both of us makes me feel better about it.
OTOH if a friend won millions and decided to share the wealth and just give me a million, or some large gift. I’d say thanks and take it.
It’s context-specific. I have in point of fact supported a good friend in the past, by paying her rent and groceries for a bit when she went through a rough patch; I’ve known her since we were in high school together, and my income surpassed hers by a considerable margin (I became a lawyer and she went the starving artist route). I have no doubt she’d have done the same for me if our positions were reversed.
I wouldn’t give money to my friends as a gift. However, I’ve got some exceedingly capable friends. I could easily see going to a few of them and saying, “You know that non-profit you’ve always wanted to start? Write up a proposal with the details, and I’ll fund it - including your salary.”
1 - no
2 - no
although in both cases there is a chance that a job could be arranged. Not cushy - real work for fair pay. But not an outright gift. That is more likely now than if I was rich. Someone with not much helping someone with less is one thing - but when the rich do the same thing it becomes too much an entitlement.
Sure I would, why not? What the hell am I gonna do with 250 million dollars? A tenth of that would let me live my life exactly as I please and still die filthy rich. I’d be surprised if I burned through 5 million of it, there just isn’t that much stuff that I want.
Guess what! I won the lottery! It’s literally more money than I would spend in 10 lifetimes so I’m spreading the wealth a bit. Here, take it!
If one of my friends won the lottery or otherwise became instantly rich, they had better be buying the beer on our next night out at the bar. Beyond that I wouldn’t expect or ask for anything, though I have a couple of friends who I suspect would offer.
I do think the arguments about not being a money fountain make sense, and I’d let people know that any gift was a one time thing. If they demand more well, I’m very good at saying no and if they want to ruin a friendship over it I guess they weren’t my friend in the first place so they can just fuck off. After I gave to friends and family, the rest of the money (by far most of it) would go to charity, so anybody who came sniffing around would find that the well was mostly dry anyway.
Part of the issue is people think a million dollars is a lot of money.
Invest it somewhere and lets say you conservatively get 8% a year (average - some people would go as high as 12%, I use 8%).
You need to put 4% a year back into investments in order to feed the beast of inflation.
So you get 4% a year. That’s $40k. Before taxes.
Now it isn’t hard to live on $40k. But how many people are going to live off $40k when they HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!!!
And so most of MY friends would increase their lifestyles, quit their jobs, and blow through $1M in about five years. Because it really doesn’t take long. And then they’d be worse off then they are today, with houses and cars they can’t afford and without work histories.
Gifting people large sums of money is not necessarily a kind thing to do.
I have a friend who’s friend (sadly, not a direct friend of mine) did indeed find himself suddenly filthy rich and in this “predicament”. I think his way of handling it was awesome.
“I have a lot of money. If you need a loan, I will give it to you. Any amount you like, and honestly, I’ll forget to collect on the loan with no hard feelings. But you can only ask once. Whether it’s $50 for dinner or $50,000 for a down payment on a house, you get one opportunity.”
That was 20 years ago. A few of his friends have taken him up on it, but most of them don’t, because you never know when you might need it more later…
Of my three best friends two are already well enough off and the other is a little bit crazy when it comes to money. There are times when she literally chokes on the word “dollar.” If I handed her 100k she’d spend 50 on crap from second hand stores and the other 50 on storage for the crap. then she’d come crying to me about the electric bill, because she quit her job, which she didn’t need because she had 100k.
So, for friends as with family: I would put enough in a trust fund to provide them each with a basic level of security, but not a whole lot extra. Say, a basic 2-3 thousand per month. I would also provide for education and/or training as needed. That’s it. That’s what you get, don’t ask me. The rest of my gift money is going to help people whose basic needs are not otherwise met, so don’t come whining to me with your wants.
And if one of them won I would never ask, and accept only on behalf of the Celtling. College fund, yes; solid-gold barbie doll, no thanks.
My friend?! I’m rich bitch! Why would I hang out with those poor losers!!?
Seriously though, one of the common experiences in the documentary I saw (it was called “Lucky” IIRC) was that people who won the lottery found it difficult to maintain relationships with their old friends. The working classes very much define themselves by the work they do. If you no longer have to work, there’s not too much in common anymore. You no longer have the problems that they worry about day to day.
In the documentary, it seemed like the most successful lottery winners were the ones who moved into a new affluent neighborhood where there were other wealthy people.
$250 million that I didn’t really earn? Exactly how much extra cheese do you need on your Whopper that half of that can’t accomplish it?
I’d set aside enough that I never have to work again yet can still live in extreme comfort- let’s say $100 million. I’d endow a charity for $100 million as well. The rest would be used to make all of my close friends millionaires and a couple of them multimillionaires- I won’t say they’d never have to work again but they’d never have to worry about money again. I don’t think I could enjoy the money otherwise, especially if it was lottery winnings or something else I didn’t really work for. (The fact that I’m currently single and don’t have or intend to have kids probably makes a difference here as well.)
Now if I were to earn say a couple of million, I’d probably give really nice gifts and pay for some group vacations, maybe even set up some college funds for their kids or whatever and have an unspoken “you never have to worry about having your utilities disconnected” agreement, but I doubt I’d pay off houses or anything like. They’d probably be my heirs in the event I predecease them.
At some point, I realized that anything between say $50m and $1b would be a waste for me–my tastes in cool, expensive things have a plateau beyond which you can’t keep up the maintenance unless you’re beyond rich into ultrawealthy.
So anything over $50 mil would get split among a select group of friends and family. Mostly this would be in the form of annuity trusts, except for a few folks in specific circumstances that I know could use a cash infusion–I’d refer to it as “the gift of you never have to work again if you don’t want to”, assuming there was enough surplus to give people six-figure incomes for their natural lifespans.
I refuse to be the cynic about friends and money. I don’t believe any of my friends would fritter away such a gift and ask for more, and if they did that’s a good sign that I don’t want their friendship anyway. Besides, often I am “the poor one” as one of the few single-income families in my group AND one of the few planning children. People are always covering my share of the tab when I protest that I can’t afford to go out for lunch or whatever, so paying some of that back eventually would be nice.
The scene in the movie involved a rich woman considering whether or not to give $1 million to a poor friend. The idea is almost immediately dismissed, which was strange to me. Until reading all these responses, I always thought that the obvious answer was to give the friend a million, or more.
Seems that most people would do nice things for their friends (pay off mortgages, buy dinners, build retirement funds, etc), but not give any sort of lump sum of cash. That’s interesting to me, because a lot of people say the same thing about giving to homeless people. They’d rather buy a meal for the person than give them money and let them spend it on whatever they want. The reasons all make a lot of sense though. You could risk creating a sense of entitlement for the friends who got money and alienating the friends who didn’t get money.
A large part of me says “share the wealth!” If I win a hundred million in the lottery, I assume I would somehow or another set it up to share with my kids to reduce taxes - as they’d be inheriting my estate anyway. Would I also partner with my siblings? They are all doing well enough anyway - one very much so - so I don’t even know if they would want something like that.
One thing that causes me hesitation WRT my siblings or friends is that IME money can really change relationships. I would hope that if I dropped a million on a couple of my friends I would simply be seen as generous. But I could imagine both the recipients and other friends/family/acquaintances forming opinions of me that I had not dreamt of.
And do I give money based on need,or closeness of relationship? Tough questions.
There are 3 people outside of family who would get money from my husband and myself and between them and family we would probably distribute about 20% of the jackpot. We would use a group lottery agreement if it was a lottery to avoid taxes (Yay Canada no windfall tax) and if it was an inheritance (SERIOUSLY unlikely) we would find another way.
I wouldn’t expect anything from any of these people, but I know if I ever needed anything and they could do something about it they would. We’ve all helped each other through various stages of our lives and have given things way more valuable than money.
1: I wouldn’t just outright give someone a million dollars, even my closest family members. What I would do is maybe by some properties so my friends and family can live rent free (or cheap) and I can have my money invested nicely.
2: I would never expect anyone to give me any money. It’s not mine.
In my little winning-the-lottery fantasies, I generally keep ~50%, distribute ~40% to immediate family ( parents, siblings ), and ~10% to a very few friends/sometimes more distant relatives and some minor gifts ( maybe a grand each ) to a small set of immediate co-workers. I have financial ties to one set of friends, so they would probably get a decent-sized chunk - maybe 5-7%, everybody else outside of the above immediate family would get much smaller sums.
I would help people ,mostly by paying off mortgages but they would wind up hating me. That is what generally happens. You help them and you are a cheap prick for not doing more, which they absolutely deserve. You would have to move. All of a sudden the neighbor who has ignored you for 10 years wants to be best buddies.
Strangers all want help in 50,000 dollar increments. You have so much that you would not miss it.
I would invite all my friends and family who are interested in splitting some pot of money I set aside. The only thing is that they have to decide amongst themselves how it will be divided.
Of course when they show up to my secret island to collect, I would hunt them.
I don’t play lotto, and don’t bother to participate in anything where I could win that kind of money. If by some strange occurrence I did win that kind of windfall, I’ve already promised the entire sum to an old work friend who plays the lotto. I told him I’m a happy man, and wouldn’t want something like a windfall to change my carefully groomed life, so he can have it all.