If you're committing fraud, you lose the right to have an attitude

I’m a fraud analyst for a major Visa/Mastercard issuer. Most of my job is pretty mundane. Helping customers who have fraud on their accounts, working on cases, nothing major.
Once in a while though, I get the pleasure of talking to someone who is committing fraud. Sometimes they’ve applied for credit with someone else’s information, sometimes they’ve accessed the account information to pose as the valid customer. I have tools and databases to catch them.
I’ll ask them questions the real cardmember would know the answers to, such as other creditors, where they bank at, even previous addresses. In most cases, once I know I have the fraudster and I tell them “I don’t believe you are my customer, who am I really speaking to?”, they hang up. I close the account, file the necessary reports and go on.

Once in a while though, I get a fraudster suffering from Mega Sack Syndrome. Even when clearly caught, they will argue the point. Here are some recent examples and what I would have said if I was allowed to.
"You can’t close the account!"

Not only can I, I just did. Unlike you, I have opposable thumbs and a conscience.

"I still have the card and I’m going to use it, bitch."

You can certainly try, wasteofspace, but all that card is good for is a scraping tool. Consider it a gift.

"But my (mother, girlfriend, etc) said I could apply with their social."

Maybe you asked them when they were half awake, drunk or mid-orgasm, possibly a combination, and they said yes. Maybe you asked them and they said no, because giving you a credit card is a worse financial risk than walking the streets of Brooklyn at 3am wearing a bodysuit made of twenties. Either way, I’d bet a kidney they have no idea you did this, but they will find out.

"I want your supervisor!"

I can get them, and based on what I’ll tell them, they’ll repeat what I said. If you really long to hear two people tell you that you are full of shit, I’ll transfer you.

"I’ll just re-apply."

Feel free. I have reported your information to all three credit bureaus and placed your address into a negative file, which makes it very difficult for you to get credit. Sucks to be you. I’d recommend you use the time instead to quietly contemplate being less of a pile of garbage can ooze wrapped in skin.
I’ve become accustomed to the fact I will have to deal with obnoxious valid customers. I can deal with that. If you’re a lying, scumsucking fraud person, and I catch you at it, be an adult and shut your piehole.

Thank you.

hardygrrl I just wanted to say thanks for putting up with the assholes and helping the fraud victims. A few years back my Mother’s (now ex) husband opened two accounts using my SSN. Thankfully I got the accounts off of my credit reports and I now check every 6 months or so just to make sure all is well. Being a victim of credit card fraud sucks.

Omigod, hardygrrl, was that you??!!

Sorry. No hard feelings, hon?

<< running mental movie of Fraudster asking GF if he could use her SSN to apply for a Visa card mid-orgasm >>

What springs to mind, of course, is that he must be one damn fine lay, if interrupting her to talk about Visa cards doesn’t put her off her stroke, so to speak, necessitating a Restart and/or an extended sulk in the bathroom.

“Say I’m the best!”

“Oh, God!”

“Say I’m the best!”

“You’re the best!”

“Say you love it!”

“I love it! I love it!”

“Say I can use your Social Security Number to apply for a credit card!”

“YOU CAN USE IT! YOU CAN USE IT! OH, GOD, CAN YOU USE IT!”

Not at all. Just knowing you’ll have an easier time self fellating yourself than getting credit again for a LONG time makes it all worthwhile :smiley:

I think I musta dealt with hardy once.

After telling me she closed my accounts, she called me a poo poo head.

The mental movie of Fraudster asking his mother if he could use her SSN to apply for a Visa card mid-orgasm is more interesting. Disturbing, but interesting.

Okay, that one, I’m not touching.