I’m a fraud analyst for a major Visa/Mastercard issuer. Most of my job is pretty mundane. Helping customers who have fraud on their accounts, working on cases, nothing major.
Once in a while though, I get the pleasure of talking to someone who is committing fraud. Sometimes they’ve applied for credit with someone else’s information, sometimes they’ve accessed the account information to pose as the valid customer. I have tools and databases to catch them.
I’ll ask them questions the real cardmember would know the answers to, such as other creditors, where they bank at, even previous addresses. In most cases, once I know I have the fraudster and I tell them “I don’t believe you are my customer, who am I really speaking to?”, they hang up. I close the account, file the necessary reports and go on.
Once in a while though, I get a fraudster suffering from Mega Sack Syndrome. Even when clearly caught, they will argue the point. Here are some recent examples and what I would have said if I was allowed to.
"You can’t close the account!"
Not only can I, I just did. Unlike you, I have opposable thumbs and a conscience.
"I still have the card and I’m going to use it, bitch."
You can certainly try, wasteofspace, but all that card is good for is a scraping tool. Consider it a gift.
"But my (mother, girlfriend, etc) said I could apply with their social."
Maybe you asked them when they were half awake, drunk or mid-orgasm, possibly a combination, and they said yes. Maybe you asked them and they said no, because giving you a credit card is a worse financial risk than walking the streets of Brooklyn at 3am wearing a bodysuit made of twenties. Either way, I’d bet a kidney they have no idea you did this, but they will find out.
"I want your supervisor!"
I can get them, and based on what I’ll tell them, they’ll repeat what I said. If you really long to hear two people tell you that you are full of shit, I’ll transfer you.
"I’ll just re-apply."
Feel free. I have reported your information to all three credit bureaus and placed your address into a negative file, which makes it very difficult for you to get credit. Sucks to be you. I’d recommend you use the time instead to quietly contemplate being less of a pile of garbage can ooze wrapped in skin.
I’ve become accustomed to the fact I will have to deal with obnoxious valid customers. I can deal with that. If you’re a lying, scumsucking fraud person, and I catch you at it, be an adult and shut your piehole.