If You've Done Time in Prison, I Have a Question

Hello. I need your help for a Buzzfeed post I’m going to write.

Often, Buzzfeed will post articles that are essentially lists of things a specific group is tired of hearing. For example, 16 Things Trans People Are Tired of Hearing or 19 Questions You Should Never Ask a Childless Couple, etc.

I’d like to make a list for people who have been in prison. The list can be a mix of questions you’re tired of answering (or refusing to answer), or things you’re sick of hearing.

As a starting point, here are a few points of discussion (and if you believe that these are perfectly reasonable and don’t mind talking about them, by all means let me know and I will re-consider their inclusion in the article).

Were you someone’s bitch?
Did you have a bitch?
What did you do?
Were you ever involved in a riot?

…what else?

From your post, it sounds like you have not personally done time in prison, yes?

If so, then why, may I ask, are YOU the one writing this article?

No I have not, and I’m writing it because… why not?

The slightly-more-complicated answer: these “Things You Should Never Say to X [Category of People]” articles fascinate me, and one day I started brainstorming other categories that might someday appear in such a list, and came up with this one. I figure I might as well do it rather than wait for someone else to do it.

**Qadcop **might know some of these by proxy. He’s worked in prisons as a doctor.

I don’t know if the old Tucker Max boards are still functional or not but they had a “Ask the prison” guard/former prisoner thread that had a lot of interesting things … I’m at work or I’d try to Google the results for you …

I think you can come up with a lot more interesting items for your list than “were you someone’s bitch/did you have a bitch,” though.

Just because I think it might be slightly more authentic if it came from someone who actually, you know, had the experience that they’re writing about.

OTOH, it’s Buzzfeed, so who gives a shit, really?

My thoughts exactly.

Only as a chaplain but ------------

So ----- did you actually do it?

Well, you have to put the minimum effort in and post a picture of shit for it to be authentic. Other than that, you just rip off of other websites, after first removing all actual content.

I don’t know about PMITA prison, but jail is:
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Well I suppose you could do " 7 good ways to sharpen a shank."

But, well how about go to TV, or TV replay websites (tv stations, youtube, etc) and watch some prison documentary.

“8 tips on avoiding going crazy while in jail.”
“11 ways to get drugs in jail”
“6 ways to avoid getting shanked for not sharing your drugs while in jail”

“I said listen to me ,here’s 8.4 ways to how to determine the top alpha males while in jail. And you will have to repeat them back at the end or get shanked, so listen up !”.

In prison, can one verb the noun “shank” or would one’s peers laugh behind his back and stop inviting him to tea?

And as I used to point out to people who complained about being bored, “Enjoy the boredom. All the exciting things that happen in prison are bad.”

A good friend of mine spent 5-6 years in a federal prison for robbing a bunch of banks in the early 90s. For him it was mostly boring but he also helped run a pretty successful sports book while behind bars.

I think you could pick a topic that would be more interesting, one that you may have firsthand knowledge of. Truth is, people who were in prison generally dont want to be reminded of it by someone asking questions that only show their ignorance of the subject. Asking if you were somebodys bitch might get you more than a verbal response.

I myself have never been in “prison”, however, I know lots who have been. Some of the things I learned:

You can get anything in prison for a price. Often, favors are paid on the outside of jail. For instance, you do someone a favor on the inside, and they will sometimes send money to your family or gifts to your family. I.e., my brother in law once had a “friend” who was in prison with him, send me two beautiful evening gowns. :confused:

The prison and guards do not care about the prisoners. My brother in law has told me that there are over 10 prisoners where he is, who have Alzheimers. He told me it was terribly sad, that they did not even know where they were, yet were still kept locked up.

I have also been told, that when in jail, prisoners do not share their stories, like portrayed on t.v. It is considered “bad manners” to ask a prisoner about details to a crime. Most prisoners really do not care anyway.

Despite the believe that rapist and child molesters get whats coming to them in prison, 99% of this is not true. They keep offenders like this together, housing the abusers in a separate unit. And they are very carefully monitored, so it rarely happens that they get a beatdown or something worse.

I have also learned a lot of peculiar things about prisoners over the years, as various family members of mine have done time. I know one family member that actually would get cigarettes from the guards, and she has funny crazy stories about her times in the pokey.

Just thought I would share. I find prisons and prisoners fascinating, and I always ask lots of questions.

Just one other fact, almost all prisoners gain weight when they are in the klink. You may think it is because of lack of exercise, however, it is mostly because the only food they are allowed to purchase from the canteen are all carbs. Cakes, cookies, pasta, etc. , and because most of the meals served where high carbs.

What about diabetics or others who on the outside would require special diets?

Qadgop should really chime in here.

Hmm, that is a good one. I am not sure about that, and I am not talking to my brother in law right now. I know he has told me that muslims require a certain diet (I forget what) and the prison provides certain things for them. As for a diabetic, I do not know.

My brother in law is in a federal medical facility, where a lot prisoners with medical problems are sent. He tells me it is just a regular prison, but with medical facilities. He does tell me that they do not take really good care of prisoners who are sick.

A mutual friend of ours went there for a year, on a gun charge. He is in a wheelchair, and I guess he was treated bad. He had numerous medical problems that they did not address. One time they had to rush him to an outside hospital, and did not even tell his family.

I find the whole prison thing fascinating. I would never, ever want to go to prison. I find it hard to believe that people who go to prison are not scared straight.