Ignorance has won! (I give up)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Not a rant (not pit worthy) but something I must share…

Disclaimer: Ignorance is not a member of this board. Bolding is used to diffirentiate the proper noun Ignorance from ordinary ignorance we seek to combat each day.

Dopers of the world, I come to you today hanging my head in shame. I sorrowfully admit defeat in fighting ignorance. Each and every day I work to provide illumination in a world dark with ignorance yet the curse of time has revealed that I have failed. Over time I came to realize that my co-worker was not the ordinary lower-case italics ignorance I was used to dealing with, this was capitalized, bold Ignorance!

At first meeting I thought that Ignorance was intelligent as there would often be small glimpses of brilliance. Ignorance correctly stated the altitude of a geosynch satellite. Ignorance was aware of the implications of the introduction of non-indigenous species into an ecosystem and Ignorance named some of the benefits of currency (method of exchange, unit of account, durable, non-perishable). At first I thought Ignorance might be doper material. In a short time I became aware that in many areas Ignorance was misguided and lacking in knowledge so I sought to provide unbiased facts about the world in a non-confrontational manner. When Ignorance remarked that 200,000 Americans died in Vietnam I politely provided a few links to historical sites showing the correct figures. When Ignorance shared that the Pyramids should have worn away years ago because they were made of sandstone I pointed out references showing how analysis of the stones indicates they are mostly limestone. By and by I found there were few grains of truth in a granary of falsehood but as part of my Doper Initiation I agreed to the task of separating the wheat form the chaff .

As days passed I sort of made it a contest to see which of Ignorance’s remarks stood out and actually started keeping a log so I could use Ignorance’s own circular arguments to fight that same Ignorance (“yeah, but last week you said… …which is it?”). Today, I give up. I no longer have the resolve to fight Ignorance. As a parting treat for myself I decided to post some of the more egregious examples of enlightenment to which I have been treated.
[ul][li]Alcohol is the most deadly drug in the world killing more people that all other drugs combined.[/li][li]Nicotine is the most addictive drug in the world causing the deaths or more people that all other drugs combined.[/li][li]Automobiles are the most dangerous device ever invented killing more people that all other causes of death combined.[/li][li]There are 600 million Jewish persons in the world, over 200 million of those live in America. They control every aspect of the economy and are the wealthiest citizens because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]70% of the entire population of the planet smokes because of the tobacco companies’ control of the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Insurance companies are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Banking companies are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Auto Manufacturers are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Oil companies are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Defense Contractors are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]Timber Companies are the wealthiest companies in the world because they control the U.S. Government.[/li][li]U.S. Corporations pay no taxes.[/li][li]People who earn over $100,000 pay no taxes.[/li][li]Poor people pay 70% of their income back as taxes.[/li][li]40% of U.S. taxes go straight to Israel’s national treasury.[/li][li]70% of U.S. taxes go straight to Israel’s national treasury.[/li][li]Foreigners working in America pay no taxes.[/li][li]Minimum wage rules do not apply to immigrants.[/li][li]Research has proven that the current U.S. president is the most corrupt leader in the entire history of the world.[/li][li]All homosexuals are cross dressers who wish to have sex change operations.[/li][li]Adolph Hitler was Jewish.[/ul][/li]Dopers, these are not mere opinions, these are absolutes, irrefutable facts that cannot be argued. Their truth speaks so strongly that they need no justification or proof. If you do not completely agree with each and every fact you must be completely insane. Any attempt at refuting these facts is merely buying in to the lies you have been fed your while life. These facts are as fundamental to the existence of the universe as gravity or light-blue seersucker leisure-suits.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give up. I can no longer wage war against Ignorance. I have considered abandoning conventional warfare in favor of unconventional methods such as resetting all of Ignorance’s bookmarks to Snopes or SDMB or perhaps even a fully paid sneak attack subscription to The Economist. Alas, my Doper Oath prohibits me from using the dark side of The Force so I endeavor to persevere and fight ignorance elsewhere. Dopers, if you ever meet Ignorance on the street do yourself a favor and walk past. There is no hope, Ignorance this strong cannot be conquered.
<Pantera>Walk on home son, you ain’t got the balls!</Pantera>

::Hangs head in shame::
::Considers turning in Doper Card::
::looks for Perfect Master’s phone number::
::reaches for And Out Come the Wolves just to make himself feel better::

NP: Avantasia – The Metal Opera

2

Definately shoulda been the pit.

3

What are Ignorance’s views on:

  1. the accuracy of the fossil record;
  2. the moon landing, and;
  3. Freemasonry?

BTW, I have had to deal with a similar individual in the past. Such “views” may seem funny when told to a third party, but Smiling Mighty Jesus they can drive you nuts if you have to listen to them everyday.

Now that you’ve got it all out, go relax. It’s Friday.

4

I think you should suggest that your co-worker look into joining the SDMB. A few days in GD ought to get him/her to either rethink things OR slink off into the sunset…at least verbally.

5

have ya tried showing him the above list? The contradictions might get through to him.

6

THIS JUST IN!!!
Holy forking shrimp - in the past two minutes we were talking about nusing homes…

“Nursing homes intentionally murder healty patients to create open beds. This helps em up the profits by keeping deposits of the dead people. They also keep the patients that use lots of medicine - they make more profit off of those people. Man they used to do this sh*t all the time until congress made it illegal.”

I’m learning more and more Ignorance has real issues with people with money and Republicans.

In response to Wartime Consigliori:

  1. they are accurate
  2. believes in it, oddly Ignorance used to work or a NASA contractor and knows quite a bit about space science.
  3. doesn’t buy into the conspiracy (well, at least until Ignorance somehow determines that the Republicans and Freemasons are the same thing)

Scotticher tried that, no luck.

BD’CoT I’ve actually tried that too - seems Ignorance “never has time to bookmark all the sources but it is all true”

7

Man, I only wish.

8

I used to know a woman like that. There is nothing to do for this condition. Admit it now, and save yourself a lot of pain.

Did you know, btw, that the new POTUS takes office immediately after the November election, and that Lewis Carroll did not write Alice in Wonderland, because Hans Christian Andersen did? Also, everything is the fault of Middle Eastern refugees. Yes, everything.

9

I work with a woman who makes sweeping INACCURATE statements…or at least opinions stated as fact…every once in awhile. Well, quite often, actually. I used to try to nicely correct her, but all it ever did was make her get all fired up and defensive, and argumentative. So now, I just don’t comment.

Her “Elvis isn’t dead, he went into hiding because he was working as an undercover agent for the government and things got dangerous.”

Me “silence”

Might be worth a try? I have noticed that since I quit responding, she doesn’t spout off to me as often as she once did. I realize that this isn’t fighting ignorance, but then I don’t think she is interested in the truth if it conflicts with whatever she wants to believe.

BTW…she DID say that about Elvis, but in that particular instance I am not sure if she meant it or was kidding. I didn’t comment, so I never found out.

10

Alright, now that i have scraped my jaw off of the floor, OH MY GOD!
Hi, I’m Anya and I work at a nursing home. A non-profit nursing home, for two years in November. I’d just like to say we want the residents to be able to go back home, We are sad when our residents die. We cannot control what the pharmacy may charge,
and resident have the option to use generic medicine, and may use another pharmacy, if they so desire.

I do not know much about required deposits, but have no doubt that this will vary by state.,

11

I know his sister. She thinks dinosaurs never existed. When asked “What are those bog bones from?” her reply was “In bible days people were much larger than they are now.”

Thats right, dinosaurs were really big people.

12

Funny shapes, too!!! I wonder why there are no tyrannosaurus shaped people in the world today … just people who think like them?

Shouldn’t someone inform the catholic church too that “In bible days people were much larger than they are now.”

Think of all those statues and crucifixes that’ll need ammendment!!

That’ll make a few sculptors very happy!!!

13

Ah, Opengrave, I see you’ve met my in-laws. Sorry about that. I tried keeping them locked up, but they keep getting out.
You forgot a few.

[ul]
[li] The plane that crashed into the Pentagon on Sept. 11 did so to kill all the Senators and Congressmen, because that’s where the Senators and Congressmen work.[/li]
[li] There wasn’t a plane crash at the Pentagon. It was a guided missle shot from Cuba.[/li]
[li] The plane that crashed in Pennsylvania was headed towards the Capitol to kill the President because that’s where he works. He just lives in the White House.[/li]
[li] The plane that crashed in Pennsylvania was actually shot down by US fighter jets.[/li]
[li] Foreigners who come here and study medicine get free tuition and free apartments and free cars, provided they sign a contract to stay here and practice medicine for the rest of their lives. That’s why there’s so damned many of them! (not my actual words) [/li]
[li] When you buy a new car, the value drops by half the very instant you drive it off the dealer’s lot. If you get rammed by someone a block from the dealer’s lot, your insurance company will only give you half of what you just paid for it, no matter whose fault is is. That’s why you should NEVER buy a new car.[/li][/ul]

14

Opengrave, whatever you do … do NOT tell Ignorance about the Illuminati. That’s just opening up a whole new can of shit you don’t want to get in…

15

There’s a woman I use to know who honestly believed that “cops commit most crimes, and then lie about innocent people to convict them.” Of course, the reason she knew this is because her husband pleaded guilty to and was in jail for several sexual assaults. “He didn’t do it. The police set him up.” Even when he was caught in the act.

16

Many people want to lie, want to make statements they don’t have to prove.

Wasn’t there a poll that found over 1/3 of Americans thought it was ok to lie about a coworker, if it was for the purpose of getting back at them?

Wouldn’t this same mentality extend to scientists, engineers, statisticians, academics, politicians, etc.?

Maybe this idea of fighting ignorance is anti-social, and we should all just give in to political correctness and peer pressure. :slight_smile:

17

Well, with respect to one of the “crazy” ideas espoused in the OP - that Hitler was Jewish - it’s unlikely but not impossible.

Certainly he wasn’t Jewish by Jewish law - that is, converted, or born to a Jewish mother. But the German law defining Jewishness was, as you might suspect, a bit more inclusive, encompassing Jewish parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents. In fact, according to historian John Toland, Hitler was concerned enough about his own ancestry that he made sure the German law defining Jewishness excluded him specifically, no matter what information might come to light. So by German law at the time, Hitler was not Jewish, either, although this was by specific exemption.

That said… there may have been some Jewish ancestry in the family. Adolf’s grandmother on his father’s side was one Maria Schicklgruber, who gave birth to Hitler’s father Alois in 1837, when she was 42 years old and unmarried. There was thus some speculation as to who the father might be. Although she later married Johann Georg Hitler, Alois kept the last name of Schicklgruber until he was in his thirties. Ultimately a new birth certificate was produced, claiming that Johann was actually Alois’ father.

However, there were some semi-credible accusations that Alois was actually fathered by Maria’s employer - she worked as a household domestic - and that the man of the house was Jewish. Unfortunately, they have simply remained accusations, with no concrete evidence developed. Indeed, some of the specifics of the story turned out, on closer examination, to be untrue. For example, the family for which Maria worked supposedly lived in Graz, but Jews had been expelled from Graz during the time in which Alois was born.

The bottom line is that it’s an unlikely story – but not, as we see, completely ruled out.

  • Rick
18

Actually there is some truth to this one. The resale value doesn’t instantly drop by half, but it does drop dramatically. It has nothing to do with the specific act of driving off the lot, though; it’s just that as soon as you buy the car, it can never be sold as “new” again, and, obviously, you can sell a “new” car for more than a “pre-owned” one.

19

I’m just glad that somebody is controlling the government. (Or is that everybody?)

If you can get a word in edgewise; tell Ignorance , for me, that marijuana was planted here by aliens in 1939, And that Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon album was recorded by these same aliens to encourage its use.

20

[Heston]Soylentsaurus is made outta people![/Heston]

Or something to that effect.

[sub]…you maniacs…![/sub]