I bet I could make extra money picking stuff up from Ikea for people like the OP. OH GOD, a dream job!
PS. I like Ikea
It feels like that the first time you go, but it isn’t really like that. There are short-cuts that jump you whole sections, like snakes and ladders.
Before I furnished my first place I literally vowed not to purchase a single thing there. I found out this was through sheer ignorance and prejudice.
After weeks of searching through all local alternatives it became crystal clear that they were the cheapest option for the quality they offered, and indeed were far higher quality that stores that charged far more then they. I ended up buying metres of bookshelves, a video stand, bedside tables … almost every piece of furniture I needed except the bed. Their stuff is cheap for what it is and well designed.It is literally a pleasure to put together - everything fits properly, there are always the right number of screws, bolts, nuts etc - and it ends up as great value.
There still isn’t an IKEA within a reasonable distance from here (6 hours r/t is not reasonable) but if there ever is one built up here, I shall be prepared with this handy IKEA walkthrough guide.
I love to hate IKEA. Does that count? 
IKEA provides cheap furniture that fills a niche, i.e. compact spaces and modularity. Some of their kitchen cabinetry and tables are actually pretty ingenious in terms of maximizing storage. On the other hand, if you know anything about modern design, you realize that IKEA is kind of a second-rate rip-off; it copies a lot of designs but in an inferior way with sup-par construction. That said, my workbench is an IKEA kitchen block, and it is a solid (pine) and heavy table that I have no reservations about putting a several hundred pound workpiece on, which is more than I can say about many of the non-commercial workbenches I’ve looked at, and at a price that it cheaper than anything I could build myself.
As for the store layout, it is clearly intended to force you to see all of their product line (although if you look carefully there are shortcuts between sections). It is good marketing but annoying if you just want one thing. If you know what you are looking for it is probably better to go to the website, find the name of the thing you want, and go straight to the warehouse section. I particularly hate the kitchen section, which is full of second-rate junk that I wouldn’t actually use.
The cafeteria food is surprisingly good, however; a cut above most department/retail store fare.
Stranger
That was hilarious! I forwarded it to my husband.
My two-year old loves to go to IKEA as well. So many cabinets to play house in ! The restaurant with a free soft ice cream cone he can fill up himself !
There are shortcuts but they are kind of hidden: the best way to find them is using a map or asking an assistant.
I’ve been moving once a year or more for the last 11. I don’t care for much of their display system, but it’s great when you need furniture and you need it now, and they sell me tables of a decent size at acceptable prices (my ideal desk is the size of a helipad and does not have any drawers - for something like that, other furniture stores ask for prices which buy me a whole bedroom in IKEA, and prices at office stores get me two IKEA bedrooms).
I like IKEA but only go there when we have a significant purchase to make. So for smaller items, I tend to wait until there’s something else we need as well, to justify the trip.
I also always ask the friendly staff to advise me of the quickest way to get to the department I’m looking for.
It completely flummoxed me the first time I went and I couldn’t believe that we were being asked to pick our own furniture, but now that I’m used to it, it’s fine.
I love Ikea as well (I live about 20 minutes away from one) and i feel the whole shopping time thing is similar to shopping at a supermarket; if you know the store (ie have been there quite a few times) you can be in and out in 10 minutes, if not it can take a lot longer.
About the shipping thing, when I went to an ikea in Montreal*, they had vans you could hire for a small charge. I haven’t seen this in Holland, but it sounded like a great idea, too bad we couldn’t rent one since our entire group consisted of people with dutch drivers licenses.
*We were helping a friend that just moved to Canada, it’s not like I go around the world visting ikeas.
Don’t like the maze? It could be worse: Njarnia
I’ve learned how to circumvent the display areas and go straight to the actual shopping bits so Ikea isn’t too much of a trauma for me. The dust can set off my allergies though, so I try not to linger.
We usually come out with a bag full of small items, napkins, kitchen things, etc. and we do have a substantial amount of Ikea furniture in our house. Some of it is a bit college-apartment but some of it is excellent - you just have to go and see.
And the meatballs are okay, but it’s the hot dogs and doughnuts I crave.
Oh, that linked floorplan is nothing like our local IKEA in Schaumburg. Now I’m less confused by the OP’s frustration.
Schaumburg’s IKEA is three stories of rings. There are plenty of spaces where you can cut through the diameter. In the very center are the elevators, and on one level, the cafeteria. It feels mazelike, but it actually allows for quite a bit of freedom of movement within the place.
Best place over here to get Western kitchen and tableware.
or Indiana? 
We went to our first IKEA while on vacation in Pennsylvania. I had a good idea of the type and style of things that they offered but had noooo idea of their maze-like business model. We just stopped in on a whim to check it out. One of our group stayed in the car not knowing IKEA was a time commitment of biblical proportions.
Having done more than my share of retail therapy in the last 50+ years, I felt it was very disconcerting to walk into a retail store lobby and have no clue how to navigate. We finally figured it out but apparently we still missed a great deal because until this thread I had no idea they had a cafe…:smack:
Do the Arabs like the Ikea styles? Or do only expats shop there?
I wondered if Ikea had adapted their style to suit Arab taste in Quatar. Lots of gold leaf and diamonds, that kind of thing 
They only put stores in big markets , at least for now. They are the opposite of Wal Mart who will put a store in small towns.
IKEA is one of the few places I know of to buy furniture where I don’t have to haggle. If I buy a couch, I’m paying the same price as the 10 guys who bought it before and after me.
I hate haggling, especially over things that are less than a few thousand dollars and whose true market value can’t be determined through research.
IKEA is awesome!
Never been. I understand that they are a great source for decent quailty low priced furniture and “stuff” - but I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need or care to buy much more in the way of “stuff.”
I enjoy my occasional Ikea visits although I’m rarely in the market for furniture nowadays. Inheriting (things that will* never* show up on Antiques Road Show) & the passage of time have filled up my home. But I’ve bought their bookcases & other items that have stood up well.
Yes, the first visit can be quite confusing. But it’s easy to discover the secret paths. And sometimes I just want to shop in a leisurely fashion; easy, since I’m not accompanied by a whining tot or hubbie.
Now that I’ve been reminded, perhaps I need a lamp or two. When is Superbowl Sunday***** this year?
*** Possibly marginally NSFW–if you work for Fred Phelps!**
IKEA layouts may differ, but you know one thing for sure - the warehouse section will be near the checkouts which will be near the door. They clearly are not going to have people with big carts loaded with large boxes wheeling them a long way, knocking down displays and people. The warehouse will also be on the same floor as the checkout.
My local IKEA, in East Palo Alto, does not provide bags for your stuff. You can buy a reusable one. I have two, because I forgot it the first time I went back after this started. Does every IKEA do this, or is it a Bay Area thing?
The DC Metro area Ikeas do the same. Its not that big a deal since DC charges a bag tax and we keep a bunch of reusable bags in the car.
Here you can buy a reusable tote, or buy paper bags, if you don’t bring your own and decide you need something to carry your stuff in. I see a lot of the blue reusable totes being used for all sorts of things - gym clothes, carrying kids’ toys to the beach or playground, bagging bulky grocery items…
I kind of like IKEA. A lot of our kitchen stuff comes from there, as well as some of our furniture. It is definitely a buyer-beware environment, but if you look carefully there are plenty of bargains to be had.