I'll bet you would drive better with that cell phone up your ass.

The BBQ Pit
1

And I volunteer to shove it so far up your ass that you can dial with your tongue.

…so, I’m just innocently sitting at a left hand turn light when I noticed that the SUV coming up behind me wasn’t slowing down. Cars on the right are moving and oncoming traffic to the left, no turning lane between us. I check my mirrors and the SUV still isn’t slowing down, so I kinda scoot myself to the yellow line and started honking my horn and waving my arm around, hoping to get her attention.

She didn’t slow at all. Motorcycles are magic things that turn the rider invisible as soon as they leave their driveway. I understand this and I have flags mounted and wear scarlet and gold leather and lots of fringe in the hopes of catching attention.

It didn’t work today. The bint in the SUV didn’t see me trying to move out of the way…she didn’t notice the red light in front of her, or the other stopped cars. She clipped my fender and tossed me into oncoming traffic then finally stopped when she rammed the car in front of me.

(I’m OK. I’m totally pissed off and sore, but I do wear protective gear. I need a new helmet and jacket now.)

After I rolled to a stop and learned that I can crawl really fast when I need to, traffic stopped. The horrified look on the driver WHO WASN’T ON HIS FUCKING CELL PHONE who almost ran me over will be in my brain forever.

At least the bint couldn’t just drive away. She was in tears as she got out of her SUV.

Why was she upset, you wonder? Was it because she almost killed people? No.

Was it because she had caused a lot of property damage to strangers? No.

It was because she broke her brand new smart phone when it flew out of her hand and hit the windshield. It was BRAND NEW and cost A LOT OF MONEY and her husband was going to be SO UPSET.

Fucking idiot tried to claim that she hadn’t hit me, I had just fallen over for the fun of it and didn’t want to give me her insurance info…because it wasn’t her fault.

2

Glad you didn’t live up to your user name.
You just fell over and jammed your bike under the front of her SUV huh? Makes sense to me. :dubious:

3

Um what flatlined said Exactly, glad you made it ok. Body armor ain’t it grand

Ride safe

Capt

4

If the phone hadn’t been broken in the crash, I think you would have been within your rights to yank the fucking thing out of her hand, throw it down on the ground as hard as possible, and jump up and down on it until your legs got tired.

5

You know, normally I don’t advocate things like this.

But flatlined, you are going to sue her ass off for everything she owns. You’ve got witnesses that she knocked you off your bike and damn near killed you because she just had to make or take that phone call right then.

6

Oh my god, I support this pitting 1000%. Virtually every single time I encounter a car doing something stupid on the road, it turns out that the driver is fucking blabbing on their phone. No exaggeration-just about every fucking time.

I’m glad you are ok and even reading this pisses me off. Fucking morons! Ahh! :mad:

7

I’m afraid that I would have let the adrenaline rush carry me right along into beating her ass. Glad you have more restraint than I. Also glad you’re ok.

8

That is awesomely funny (not for you, but to read).

9

flatlined, I’m sorry but when I read this line I laughed. the image that pops into my mind is like something out of a cartoon.

That said, I’m glad that you yourself are okay. My father loves motorcycles and has taken long trips on them, along with my mother. He has said, as you did, that people just don’t see motorcyclists. I’m the daughter that thinks the parents are wild and crazy for wanting to ride.

Dad’s going to have to give it up sooner than later, although he won’t believe it. He was in an accident two years ago, a driver didn’t see him begin to cross into an intersection, and came on in his truck(It was a four way stop, and dad had the right of way) Dad says it was like a movie, he struck the truck and flipped up over the hood, falling off. Broke a small bone in his neck. He’s fine now, but he was seventy nine when it happeded and old bones are more brittle.

10

good you weren’t squished.

she would get zero bars.

11

Thanks everyone. After it was all over, I really wanted to go all scholastic on the bint, but there were people all over me. Then the police showed up and I try to not argue with people with guns.

When I called the report in to the bint’s insurance company, I was told that the damage to my bike would be covered…except for me wanting my custom paint job fixed. I was also told that my damaged helmet and leathers were probably not covered. WTF?

This is not the first time I’ve had problems with idiots driving cars and talking/texting.

Just shut the fuck up and pull over if you get a call or have to make a call. How hard is that? You (generic you, not talking about people here) will only lose a couple of minutes in your oh so precious drive time.

Get off the phone and pay attention to what you are doing while driving. People’s lives are more important than your phone call.

12

That’s messed up. I was hit by a car once as a pedestrian, and the sunglasses that were knocked off my face and broken- covered. The jeans that had to be cut off me by EMS- covered. No questions asked, even. I’d press it.

13

I’m happy you weren’t seriously injured, flatlined, and I hope you’re successful in your lawsuit against the bint to get her to pay for everything her insurance company is too chickenshit to cover.

14

Damn, flatlined! I’m sure glad you weren’t squished. You’re right about folks on four wheels not paying attention to those on two. It’s even worse when they’re distracted or have been imbibing.

Turn in expenses for the paint job, your helmet and jacket. Don’t settle until they agree to cover them. If you have to, file with your own insurance company. They have badder lawyers than most common folk can afford.

15

Contact a lawyer. One of those ones that work for a %. Make sure they agree they get that % (usually 30%) for everything above what the insurance company offered. They should get you all that you want, plus maybe another $5-10K for pain, suffering, stress, etc.

Usually I am against that sort of thing, but she deserves it. And since you clearly make a point of making your bike extra visable and yourself extra safe, you deserve it also.

Sue the bitch. (Well, actually, you’ll never really “sue” her. Your lawyer will just send her Insurance co a letter, and they’ll settle out of court. But yeah, they’ll be pissed and cancel her insurance, and she’ll get a nasty gram from your lawyer, which will cause her to pee her pants, etc).

16

We live in the same state, Alice. The bint probably only has $20,000 insurance and I got my claim in first. You probably know how it works, when something that involves several vehicles, the one who files the insurance claim first gets paid first. When the money runs out, the other people involved are SOL.

The insurance company will try to not pay. Thats just the way they work.

My bike is a mess. I’m a mess. My back hurts and my leg hurts. Thank goodness that I was wearing protective gear, I’d probably be dead without it.

I’m still too pissed off to be rational. And I hurt. A lot.

I think I am going to be one of those people who gets rude when they see people on their fucking cell phones and driving. I’m going to start tossing pachino balls at their cars, just to wake them up.

17

Just because her phone is broken does not mean you can’t shove its busted bits up her ass sideways.

18

I’m glad you’re OK, flatlined.

I was heading home from work, in bright sunshine, on my Honda 750 (not some invisible mo-ped) when a cow-orker in a SUV squeezed me off a two-lane side street onto an intersection’s triangular traffic island. The SOB passed me on the right, his cell phone glued to his left ear.

The idiot didn’t have a clue and sped up on the yield-sign curve to merge with traffic on the intersecting four-lane as I watched and hoped he’d hit a semi.

No such luck.

19

This. A thousand times.

20

What did you do to him the next day you saw him? I hope it was painful.

I still think **flatlined **should sue (the bint, not the insurance company). And, flatlined, I also think you should get yourself looked over by a doctor, just in case.