I do this regularly, and it usually scares the hell out of my SO
Runs With Scissors, TheFaerie … I’m concerned that you seem to be ignoring the possibility of an aquatic monster inside the mattress. Perhaps the waterlogged corpse of a long-dead child, waiting until the wee hours to poke at you with tiny, bony fingers…
I once read an essay by Stephen King saying he never hung an arm or leg over the side of the bed for just that reason.
Under the bed is no problem for me, but the closet door is. When I get up to pee in the night, I have to walk right by that closet and anyone could reach out and grab me.
PS – my brother, as a teenager, slept with a stuffed animal snake around his neck because, well, vampires.
I hope you don’t have a TV in your bedroom. Weird things can come out of a TV at night, even if it’s off.
Now you’re just being silly. The aquatic tentacle monsters are the natural enemy of children, dead or not.
neofishboy, I was there when the brand-new, empty mattress was brought into the house and filled it myself. I am certain there are no aquatic monsters in it. (at least I WAS sure…)
True story…
I have often been attacked by the bed monster before going to work. After turning off the alarm, the bed monster would reach up, pull me under the covers, make me go back to sleep, and quietly observe me as I overslept.
You didn’t check inside the mattress for eggs, did you?
all hail the snooze!
Exactly.
Is the monster under your bed drooling?
Well, that’s just common sense.
You live on the side of the state where the spiders are mostly harmless. I, on the other hand, live on the side with black widows, which makes me jumpy about spiders. I don’t see many giant house spiders here. Lots of wolf spiders. I don’t care about the make or model, I don’t want any of them crawling on me.
Yessssss. All closet doors where I sleep must be shut. And by the same token, any closed shower curtains must be checked before I go to sleep near one. Jason Kruger could be in there!
My monster like that has yet to attack me. It just sits in the crawlspace door, staring at me. Oldest is leaving town for a week and I will have to start leaving the propitiatory offerings. I don’t know how that will change the dynamic of the relationship.
Started sleeping with a pillow on my head as a kid because I was scared by The Haunting. Still do it, but not to a prophylactic, ghost deterring extent, just to muffle noises and keep my ear warm.
On the other hand, Norman Bates (or his mother :eek:) could be outside the curtain.
Noooooooo. Make it stop, mommy!
My wife always sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the window since that’s where the sea monsters come from… she keeps them from eating me.
Hmmmm. So would it be weird to sleep with the bedroom door open and window open and feet hanging out of the bottom of the bed?:o
Every night before he goes to sleep, the boogeyman checks under the bed for Chuck Norris.