I found out tonight that these seven words can rouse my wife from a dead sleep to standing at the doorway in but a few scant seconds “There’s a centipede in bed, get up!” I wonder if she would have moved quicker had I yelled spider?
I was blissfully slumbering when I awoke to a sharp pain on my right ring finger. Inbetween that special moment of not quite being awake and not quite being asleep I thought something had brushed against my hand. The pain wasn’t much and I was very sleepy and managed to convince myself that it was just a dream. As I began to return to the land of sleepy time I was most definately sure that something was crawling down my leg. A quick brushing aside of the loathsome insect with my hand confirmed that there was indeed something in bed with me though at this point I had no idea what.
Being the nice guy I am I recovered my flashlight in an attempt to catch the beast without waking my wife. After flicking on the flashlight and seeing the horrible brute that struck me in the night I uttered those seven words to my wife. I’m safe now and the centipede is resting comfortably in a solution of alcohol in the bathroom. Man 1, Centipede 0.
On the other hand I’m suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome and I’m not feeling like going to bed right now. The little bump on my finger indicating where I was so visciously attacked is no longer there and the pain is gone. I’m guessing that means it wasn’t poisonous or it didn’t feel like using any venom on me. I’m relieved amputation was not necessary like I had originally thought.
Anyone else ever wake up with something scary in bed? No, bad dates don’t count.